MORE and What Led Up To It...

I want to start this out. by saying that we had a WONDERFUL and AMAZING Valentines Day.
Paladin gave Me the most beautiful card.. with a heart wrenchingly lovely hand written note in it. And.. and one heck of a surprising great gift to boot!

As yummy dinner and desert.. and I was thrilled to spend the evening and nite with him. And then he asked Me to stay and sleep in and have lunch with him today, which I loved doing. It made it all the more special!

I told Paladin last nite.. that I want what he wants Me to want..
and that.. is..
MORE!

That is the word that he's always said that he likes for Me to say. MORE, MORE, MORE.

What I told Paladin last nite.. is that MORE.. isn't always just about sex though. In some cases.. it's about more.. control. And in this case.. that is what I want.

Yes. he gives me lots of it as it is. But now, I've given him a new set of protocols to follow.

From now on, when he comes home, he is to put his restraints on and wear them all the time when he is home and sleep in them.. and instead of sleeping in shorts, he is to always sleep naked like he does when I am there. And.. on a weekend, he is not to take his restraints off until after we've chatted if we are going to. If he's not going out, then he is to stay in his restraints for the duration of the day. Mmmm.. must admit, I LOVE the idea of Paladin doing all of his household chores in his restraints on weekends.

And....I am not going to give him grace on Fri nites when he is out with his friends anymore. He HAS to write it or face the consequences. Don't care what time he gets in. Paladin keeps saying that he wants Me to be stronger...and that he is proud of Me. Well.. I am going to be giving him even more reason to be so.

I have tried to be careful to balance Myself with making sure that Paladin has his own autonomy to a large degree with the others in his life. And I will continue to. However.. I have decided that there will be times when I will demand certain things from him, and leave the balancing to him to figure out. Doing the blog on Friday nites is going to be one of those things.

He is to do a blog for every one that he missed. He used to do a blog on the nites that I saw him while I was on My way home, and I did give him leave that if I spent the nite, then he did not have to do a blog that nite.. and that rule will still hold true. However, when he has a make up blog to do, he's to do it early in the day, not waiting until the end of the day to do it unless it's a busy workday. Some of these are rules I had given him in the past.. but I had not really been enforcing them. He has been put on notice.. that I am going to be doing so from now on.

What trigged all this you may ask? Well.....when I was first setting down the rules for Paladin, I set down two times of the year that I absolutely wanted him to reserve for Me. And that was the weekends of My birthday.. and Valentines Day. He remembered My birthday for sure... but not so much Valentines Day. OOOOoooooops! He's never 'celebrated' it before, nor had a reason to. (smile) Well.. he certainly does now!

I want to preface this by saying that I am very proud of Paladins popularity with his friends.. and also that he is genuinely counted on by some of them to help. He has a dear friend whose been having some personal difficulties, and Paladin has been of enormous help to that friend.. that friends wife asked Paladin to join them for a 'thank you' dinner on Sat nite. Paladin had in fact spoken with Me about helping this friend, because in the past, he would not have felt that he could really help this friend, being of the sort to not want to intrude on his friends personal difficulties. He specifically asked for My advice in helping this friend and I was again, proud that he was stepping out of his comfort zone to help this friend.

In the last few weeks, I purposely did not remind Paladin of My desire to see him this weekend to see if he would remember. And when he told Me online the other nite that his friends wife had asked him for this special dinner Sat nite, I did not remind him of My previous Command about the weekend and felt at that point it would be tacky for Me to bring up the long ago mentioning of My desires to see him this weekend.

I have a submissive friend that had asked Me awhile back if I had any plans with Paladin for Valentines Day. I had told her that yes, I was seeing him on that day (as it fell on our regular day, a Thur) and that I hoped to see him over the weekend as well as I had told him that the two weekends a year I wanted to spend with him were My birthday.. and.. Valentines Day. When I saw her again last weekend she asked about My weekend plans with Paladin and I told her about the thank you dinner with his friends. She looked at Me and nodded, but I could almost see what she was thinking....

Now.. because of Paladin's friends wife inviting him to a 'thank you ' dinner, (and I am very understanding of that, and again, proud of of him for being such a good friend.) I hadn't really planned to mention any of this to Paladin now. but simply bring it up at another time, especially since Valentines Day will fall on a Friday next year. I know how much he beats himself up. And... after all I WAS seeing him on Valentines Day..

However.. at dinner last nite I guess I was a bit subdued while thinking about all this. Paladin is always very observant of Me.. and he could tell that something wasn't quite right. And so.. he asked Me what it was. I was still reluctant to tell him. But. as he was persisistant.. I finally told him about My friends comment. Paladin had something of struck look on his face.. and it was evident that he was upset at himself. And.. as some of us know, once we start thinking and talking about somethings, they can build a momentum of their own. I felt bad when Paladin said that he had "screwed up again". But.. to some degree, he had as he hadn't remembered at all.

We continued our discussion during our bath. It was.. uncomfortable for Paladin. He doesn't like sad and difficult conversations, and this one was a bit of both. I brought up several good points.. including that we both have to accept some things we don't like. I understood his needing to do this dinner with his friends, but I didn't have to like that it was during what I had considered to be a special time that I had specified as wanting to spend with him. But.. that was all irrelevant now as the plans had been set in motion for this dinner, and I could only come out looking badly being upset by it.

Still.. I was feeling a bit.... riled up about things and feeling.. out of control about this whole weekend and dinner thing. And there IS something else that I was still.. disconcerted by as well.

Paladin had gotten his hair cut over the weekend and very darn short at that. I had seen it in the pics he had sent, but when I saw him on Tue, I was surprised by how short it was. It is just about impossible to grab him by it now, which of course, is one of My super favorite things to do. Even he said that the lady cutting it had cut it shorter then usual. Okay.. so that's not his fault either... but when I had seen him last week, I had really, really been enjoying running My fingers through it. It was a bit long, and it certainly was time for a trim.. but he has such beautiful soft, thick hair and it had also.. just felt... so.. (sigh) wonderful. Then, to see it chopped so short.. and... I am a Navy veteran.. and no offense to any active, or ex Marine readers out there.. but well.. everyone knows that Sailors and Marines have a thing between 'em.. and years later.. I still don't like the feel of a Marine haircut. And that is exactly what this fresh new haircut is feeling like. So... I was pretty upset about that on Tuesday. Although we have worked it out that as soon as his hair is at what I feel is the absolute minimum that I am comfortable with, I'll let him know, and that will be our new guideline for shortness.

Anyways.. so over all I was feeling out of control of several things.... and that kinda pissed Me off.. so I felt .... inspired to take control in some other ways. I had been thinking about wanting him to wear his restraints when he was home for a while. Now he is Commanded to.

Anyways.. the end all and be all.. is that we really did have a wonderful evening.. and I AM going to spend time on Sunday with Paladin.. and we'll try out his fascinating gift to Me. (grin)

And all is well.. and we are bonded closer then ever.

So.. wishing everyone out there the very best...
all ways,
Mystress