Monday, February 20, 2012

Progress Towards a New Start

Evening All.

A mid-week post...something i havent done in sometime it seems. I do love to read Mystress's post and with more time comes more wonderful posts from her. Weee i do enjoy reading them so very much so i can pick out all the details Mystress has in her wonderful thoughts. I shall be so spoiled with many more mid-week posts :)

As for our progress, yes we are making many steps forward. This leads to many many busy days and nights for us but we know it will be well worth the effort. For with great effort comes a great reward which we both look forward too very very much.

Tonight we were off to get all the travel goodies needed for the little puppy and big cat. They should be rather comfy in their journeys and we hope to make the trip as easy as we can for them. I am sure with the treats and luxury travel home we got them, they should be very comfortable and should make the trip rather easily. As Mystress says, they will have a giant jungle gym to explore and enjoy for the rest of their days so a little rough patch will be a small sacrifice.

I also look very forward to Mystress enjoying her trip with Lady Dawn. They are always so happy together and it makes me so happy they will get to spend a good vacation together. Hugs to you both and both you guys please enjoy your trip to the fullest.

Off to be with Mystress.


Another Week Closer... and a Gift

Greetings Friends...

Time continues ticking by. This past week was full of more packing, organizing and preparations for moving half way cross the country.

This weekend we got most all of the living and kitchen room packed up for painting and moving. The painting will be early next week and we have a few things left to get out of the way since we and everything will still be here. The critters and I will be in the office since that's one of the rooms that doesn't need to be painted, and Paladin will be working from home those days.

I got almost everything on the kitchen counters packed up and also posted on CL to sell and gave away a couple of things of Paladin's he needed done. And after one item sold, he came in and gave me more then half of it and thanked me for posting it and setting it up. Smiles.. bless his heart... He does so much for me.

I want to relay something Paladin did this past week that was like magic to me.
I have a dear RL subby friend, Devyn, who is also a Navy vet, and also was raped repeatedly while in the service by her boss and could never report it. This past week she got her VA card, and went to see my doc at the Vet Center for her PTSD. It's has a profoundly negative impact on her life, like myne has had on me. She's been unemployed due to an ex boss wreaking her good name and she's been suicidal.. I worry about her a lot and Paladin and I send her Reiki when I know things are going rough for her. She really wants to go into SL and be my sub there, but.. her computer was under 1gz and too old to run Second Life. She had gotten a used laptop for Christmas and hoped it would run it, but it was almost as old as her desktop and wouldn't do SL either. So Paladin had talked to her on the phone to find out if her desktop could be upgraded, and he tells me that he thinks it's just too old. Still, we're going down to see her on Sat afternoon and see if there is anything that can be done to help it.

So, I say spontaneously to pet that I really really want to be able to be philanthropic. He smiles and asks me what would I do? I am in one of those PTSD tearful places, and I blurt out that to start, I'd help my friend Devyn for instance and get her a computer so she could go on SL, and find friends when she is depressed and suicidal. Well.. Paladin looks and me, then gets up, opens the closet doors here in the office, pulls out some boxes and then...... a computer. 'Remember this Mystress?" he says. "This is the computer you used to use before I built the new one and you started using the one I was using." I stare at him somewhat dumfounded. "We can give her this one, and then she can get onto SL to visit with you." How is it that I speak this heartfelt wish for my dear friend, and POP like magic, Paladin presents me with the fulfillment of said wish?! It's double the machine the one she currently has is. So instead of catching up on a show he'd been planning to watch, he spends the evening clearing off all his stuff from the computer and by Sat, I've downloaded SL and and Yahoo and tried them both out to be sure they work. We don't tell her. She thinks we're coming down still to look at her computer. Turns out this one he's giving her, even has a remote control for playing dvd's and music, AWESOMENESS!

We get down there and she comes down to meet us, and instead of walking over to her, we motion to her and as she comes over to the car, we pop the trunk and show her the computer. She is shocked and cries. Grins. It was a priceless moment. Smiles. Yeah.. It's him, Paladin is great like that.

She had some stuff to clear off her old computer to put on the new one.. and so I hope to see her in SL very soon.

Thanks to Paladin.... a most.... amazing man. And pleasure slave extraordinaire.
Now.. we are 24/7, and so it's more days, and more time.... and when he comes and asks to use the restroom, it still gives me goosebumps. Silly huh? Funny the things that pop up that I find make me happiest. Happy happy, Joy, Joy, Joy!!!

So, we march on. Getting all the more ready. Plans for my launch on the 5th continue ahead.
Hopefully, Paladin will follow shortly after with the moving truck around the 12th. We are keeping in mind the best laid plans of mice and men.

I'll have Paladin do his post tonight as he was very busy last nite cleaning his guns after firing off the last of his ammo with one of his brother's yesterday. He didn't want to have any left to worry about on the move, so they had a good time shooting it all up yesterday. Another last.. a last shooting day with his brother before we move. Funny to have him come in and say "Does Mystress mind if I clean my guns before dinner?" Lolol.. no pet.. go ahead!

Well, on that note, I wish the best to all...

Thursday, February 16, 2012

A Different Kind of Valentines

Hello Friends,

On Sat Paladin took me out for dinner to celebrate early. Lobster and steak, mmm yummy.
So.. on Tue, I decided to cook for him. A lovely seasoned and browned pork loin over caramelized baby carrots, mushrooms, celery and onion, baked in some nice Zinfandel. It had just the right yummy smell when he came in. Love it when he follows his nose into the house. Grins. Another way of controlling the totally carnivorous Paladin.

He brought me a lovely card with words of endearment that make me know I've got one of the best men on the planet by my side, forever. And he also brought me a box of Godiva truffles milk and dark ( my fave) .. mmmm.. more yummy! Told him I'll save most for the upcoming road trip to TX. Will enjoy a couple every night, and save a couple for our first nite in our new house.

I had got him a card, some of his fave coconut candies, a laser pointer for him and the kitty. Which they both played hours with. Pet had a good time getting kitty to chase the red laser all over the house, and little dog chased kitty. Both were pooped after a good half hour of it. "Stick a fork in them, they're done" Paladin declared when he came back into the living room. Sure enough, both dog and kitty were panting and flopped down on the floor. A little later I looked down to see little dog nestled on Paladin's arm and him absentmindedly fondling her ears as we caught up on Grimm. (great show btw)

Then Paladin said it was time to take care of something else, and we spent the rest of the eve setting up my bills for my new situation. He moved my att to his account, put his pay info on my SL account till I get my disability in, and gave me a check to put in my new veteran's bank account. Deposits will take a bit longer, but its very convenient no matter where I am, and its a account that my disability check can go into. This was, and is .. .all big stuff to me. I am having a bit of a hard time with it still. Its something I can't seem to get over yet. Not working. Not having my own income. Having to wait for the VA to tell me what its going to do. Sometimes my mind feels like a rat.. that keeps trying to find another way to do something in a maze. I do have a Reiki attunment to do for a friend in a nearby town next week, and so that will give me a bit of $$ to have. But I'd do it even if she didn't have the $. It is one of the things that gives me the most joy still, and being able to make new Reiki practitioners is one of the greatest blessings I have in my life, next to pet. Our new house will have a lovely room with double doors right inside the entrance that we'll use for Reiki/Library/Guest room where I can do sessions and classes, but with a really nice fold out couch too for folks that need to be downstairs. I am really looking forward to getting that going again too.
All of this, the house shopping the moving and such all seems like a huge perpetual Valentines Day to me. I'd say every day since I have owned Paladin has been like Valentines Day. But now, it's more wonderful then ever. Every morning when I wake up here, I am smiling. Huge change for me.

And another great thing happening and getting ironed out is that our Lady, who comes and graces Paladin and I from time to time, and the only person I share him with, is going to be riding with me and the critters to TX. It looks like we are leaving the 5th of March. And she will stay with us in Tx until the 22 as the 20th is her BD and Paladin and I will give her a most marvy BD ... as well as she has best friends who live about an hour from us! So we'll be staying near her friends when we get there, and Paladin will fly down to sign papers on the 15th, and back if he can't drive at that time. And then drive down afterwards. It depends on the timing of many things. But we and the critters will be there and ready..

So.. this Valentines official date of the 14th, was a day of 24/7 changes.. and that's.. a dream come true! Each day brings us closer to what we never really dreamed was possible!!!

Best to all,

Monday, February 13, 2012

Another Voice goes quiet... kudo's to the Grammy's

God love you Whitney... you were an amazing talent!

I was not a huge Whitney fan.. but I did enjoy her music. Talent is talent and she had a special spark. Boy howdy, could she nail those notes perfectly! Indeed... my best memory, will be her pure rendition of the Star Spangled Banner, etched the year our country was smacked so hard. There is great sorrow for the loss - again - of such talent.

Paladin and I watched the Grammy's last nite. It's always been one of my fave shows because I love music of most kinds. Rap... not so much. And I love live performances, and the interesting parings of artists as well. I have been groovin' on Adel's 21 for a few months now and had planned to watch to see her first public sing since her throat surgery.

Somehow, Paladin and I never saw any news on Sat, (we spent the day packing and doing some floor cleaning) and Sun morning in bed he reads to me from his smartphone that Whitney is dead. Awwwww.. damn! Another one??? I know the Grammy's are tonight.. and oh.. that's gonna be rough. I thought they did one heck of a job. It was all the perfect tone. I noted the black flag hangings at the red carpet and wondered if those had been added for Whitney. The host LL Cool J set a good tone for a somber yet still celebratory evening.

The Boss kicked it off and hauled us in. So many great acts, a few that we both were 'ehhhh, not our thing.' However, I had been looking forward to Glenn Campbell, and I was happy that Glenn was able to stay on track and do a great performance. Only at the very end can you hear him ask "Where do I go now?" I was glad for him. Paladin grinned at me as I sang along with Glenn, remembering that Rhinestone Cowboy.. (which Paladin has never seen but is gonna get to) saying "wow Mystress, you know all the words to the songs!' Yeah, well.. I normally only sing in the car. He was one of the best performances of the night. The Beach Boys was a bit of an odd performance, Brian Wilson looking a bit robotic through most of it, but did get a few smiles out at the end. And it was the first time they'd reunited in forever. Sir Paul.. well. he was pretty good too. Loved Joe Walsh and Bruce Springsteen doing harmony. All in all, a great show and like a spontaneous memorial as well, and appropriately done., Well.. except that weird nun chick dancing with the priests. Looked more like something from Bohemian Grove.

I am sad.. that Whitney lost her way. By whatever means she left, perhaps, her life was also another lesson for us. Like MJ's song 'Gone too Soon'.

I tilt my hat to the wonderful job the Grammy's did last nite in the tribute to her.
And kudos to Adel for winning it all! 21 is a great record.

Tomorrow is Valentines Day.. lets all give our loved one's an extra hug today or tonight, just because we can, even if its just sending them a virtual one.

Best to all,

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Times Ticking By

Evening All. Let me aplogize first and foremost to my dear Mystress for my absence from the blog.

As many of you have read, and commented on...things are moving by rather fast. Mystress is here full time, WEEEEEEEEEEEEE, which has really been great for us both. Its how we always have been but 24/7. The future so bright regarding this aspect of our move and thank you all for such wonderful thoughts regarding our new setup.

Regarding our new place, things are moving along slowly and definitely not as fast as Mystress demands :) We know that with happy thoughts and patience, the deals we have in place should all fall in place faster than we expect and before we know it, we will have to hop in the car and make our way to TX. We are both definitely not looking forward to the drive but oh well, its something that we have to do before we reach our wonderful nirvana.

So each day Mystress and i spend hours packing and getting the place all ready to shove in a truck and move. This doesnt leave much time for other aspects of our relationship, but boy oh boy are we making plans for our new hot tub :) Mystress has an ever growing list of things hse has planned for our new home and i am sure there will be many more stories our blog regarding them :)

A special thank you to all our exisiting friends and family that are wishing us the best inthis wonderful journey. To our new friends already in Texas, we so look forward to meeting you all again and hanging out. I sense that in a new place, with a new start, Mystress and I will maybe come out of our shells much more and look very much forward to being more engaged. Thank you for the great Texas welcome.

Off i go to kiss my dear sweet Mystress, if she will allow me.

Love and Kisses

Friday, February 10, 2012

One Night Stand Lying Snakes * a Rant*

Greetings Friends,

Sooo.. what kind of person, knows that they are courting a wounded submissive soul and decides to lie and trash that hurt sub? One abused and taken advantage of in horrid ways, one kidnapped and raped.... What kind of person convinces that sub, and their online Owner.. that he wants to help heal the wounded one and then, does the opposite?

He had met her a couple of times at local munch knew she was a bit heavy, but still did his best to promise her everything but the moon. Knows this person isn't a one nite (or day) kind of person. She never, ever would have considered being intimate with anyone other then a long term relationship.

And... yes.. knowing all that.. promising all that... after she finally, finally takes a chance and gives herself to him inimately...then the next morning in response to her 'had a wonderful time, never knew it could be that way' note... dumps her with the words 'Yes, you are desirable, it was nice, folks in the community will like you, thanks for a good time. Will be glad to be friends"
End of message.

It could have just been a short message.. and we hoped it was.. but she knew.. that she'd been dumped. Step in me.. one of her protectors.. to query the individual as to the reality of the situation.. after his having been involved with her as a 'team player' for the past few weeks. And his response, is a lie. Bald faced lie. He says he never said anything about ongoing.. that he never said he wanted long term.. said he never offered her that. All a lie, by his own written words in the time before this disaster. My very polite reply asking him to be kind to her and disputing his claims of no promises of anything in the future included these quotes from himself:

I do not have the authority to scold you small one. You are not yet mine, but I hope over time you come to trust me and that you will become mine...heart, body and soul. The pleasures I want to show you. The respect I give to my sub/slave is something I want to share with you."

and speaking of her Master..

"Then he is a very smart man and perhaps together, we will work to build your esteem and confidence. Even if I became your Master, I would expect you to continue your relationship with him. To have you kneel at my feet, would be a gift greater than anything else I could think of. But I have not earned that rite yet. I hope to in the future. I hope to be what you need and fulfill all your needs as I have done for and with.... " (His wife and sub whose name I removed)

Soo... what's the opinion out there? If this guy was courting you as a sub, or you were her Owner and read this, what would YOU think? Does it sound like long term to you, or no promise of anything future??? Would you think this was a one time thing?

His next reply... to defriend and block all involved on Fet Life. Bamm. Just like that. What happened to being friends buddy????

I can't wrap my brain around of this sort of behavior. I am as hurt as my friend. And furious. Why pick on someone.. who it took all their courage just to step out their door and go to something social? Why lure her Master in the way he did... promising to take good care of his little one? The dear kind Master.. thousands of miles away from his online slave, wanting her to find real life happiness. And to have someone.. betray the two of them in such a brutal way. He was married.. and his wife was also involved.. supposed to be the loving sub who would support and help the hurt sub. But friend was thrown aside, while he tried to deny his words. But.. that is one thing about the typed and sent word... you can't take it back. Even those gosh awful ones you wish you could. So.. he was caught with his own words in a lie. He said things to her in moments of intimacy that left her floating in happiness afterwards. But... he destroyed all that.
Why? Can anyone out there.. explain this sort of behavior?

It's not that I've not had my own share of those sorts of experiences in the past.. most of us ladies have at one time or another. But.. to KNOW... to go into this KNOWING... that the person your interacting with has been badly hurt.. to write that you want to help her with this and that you are saying you want long term and to help her heal... to HEAL... and then.. they do this??? And this person heads their fet life page saying they are a man of HONOR???? HONOR????? To hurt and betray a vulnerable sub this way??? *sighs*

May the fleas of 1000 camels infest his privates...

*rant ended*

All the best to everyone else..

p.s It turns out in Fet Life.. .you can take it back if you block the person. But... if you've already done a copy and paste of the exchange somewhere else.... well then.. you Do have a copy of it.. much like I did, so that after he blocked me... I still had it all. o.0

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Moving Along

Greetings Friends,

Well, as I said in a comment, the move went great and both the critters are adjusting to their new home, as am I. They both adore Paladin, and little dog greets him with great exuberance when he gets home from work. And last nite we watched them both play with each other like at the old place. Kitty is not impressed with not being let out of the house however, but all convention says wait at least two weeks before we do.

This is my fourth day here at Paladins. And..its been.. wonderful. Really so. How odd to have nite after nite. It's been very domestic and there are so many things to tend to, all the details to get this house ready to be sold, and all the things needed at the new house on the other end.
I like being here to putter around.. and I am still going back and checking the mail at my other place for something from the VA. Today is 3 weeks since I sent it off, and as I said last week.. they have 30 days to decide.

I had a good session with my Vet Center doc on Tue. She has helped me with a lot of my self esteem issues due to not being able to work. She says that it's not that I won't be working, because I will dive in to some sort of volunteer work for veterans after I get settled, but that I'll be working on my own terms and the funding will be justice for the past.. well some. A rl Navy vet friend is going to be seeing her on Tue to start her journey to wellness. She had as rough a time as I did, and only now is also seeing it. So I told doc, its good for me to be helping her and my friend Ani. That the virtual friendship with Ani led me to get help with myself, and now, my rl friend is benefiting from that virtual friendship. Odd how life is that way huh?

On Tue the moving rep came in to see all the things we have to move. It's all taking shape, slowly but surely, t
hings are moving along as the sub line says. Escrow closes mid March and we head out around the 10th for the long drive to TX. YeeeeHawwww. I must admit, I've been teasing Paladin about a cowboy hat and boots. And he asks why I have to be so stereo-typical in regards to Tx. Well pet.. cuz it's fun! And I like the idea of you in hat, boots and chaps. mmmm Yummy.

It has been delightful to have evenings with Paladin here. The energy here is calm and peaceful. It's wonderful, and just where I need to be for sure! We are keeping to our 'special' nights of Mon and Wed.. and playing with friends on the computer Tue and Thurs... and Fri's his nights with his buddies until we move. Weekends... this one we are packing more and cleaning the carpets to get this place ready to sell.

Well, that's the update for now.

Best wishes to all,

Sunday, February 5, 2012

24/7 Moving Day (Happy Superbowl Day too!)

Good morning Friends,

Well, in about an hour Paladin will show up and start the last of my moving to his place today. Myself, my tiny (3lb) doggie and the much larger then the doggie, kitty. They are best buds and they have known Paladin, well, all their young lives. Kitty is 4 and doggie is 3. Paladin and I are 4.5.

Last nite was my last night living here. We have no idea how long before the move to TX actually happens, we expect around the end of the month. But we will all be together, adjusting tonight. Tonight,
our 24/7 actually begins.

In our morning txt exchange, pet asked how I slept. Not too great. My mind is good at spinning and last nite, it was pretty wound up the whole nite through. I saw a bit of most of the hours on the clock go by, even though I went to bed around midnight. Still this is.. a momentous place for us to be coming to, and so, it sometimes seems almost fitting to not sleep on those nights. i know there will be nights of good sleep another time.

I have liked the little duplex I've lived in here... its had good neighbors (especially kind to me after my breakdown as has been my landlord) and a great location for convenience and friends. Little dog has lived here her whole life, and so this will be a big change for her. Kitty, has moved 4 times since I got him and he knows with all the boxes around and such, that more is on the way. He's been keeping an eye on things closely.

I don't have a lot left to move as I have winnowed down my belongings into just a couple car loads of boxes. But it is time for me to do some final packing and disconnect Mom's Macintosh for packing too. I'll be using the computer Paladin set up for me next to his gaming machine in the office, or my laptop. So I expect the next time I fire up the Mac will be after we are settled in TX. I find those sorts of things interesting. What will be our mindset then? What will have happened since I unplugged it here, and replug it there? How will the drive to TX with kitty and doggie have gone? How will it feel to be setting up a home with my beloved Paladin? What bumps and memories will have been created by then?

Ummm, yeah.. those are the kinda thoughts that kept me awake. Now, time to shower and get moving.
Next time I blog here, it will be from Paladin's.... and my .. home. For good.

Warm hugs and I hope all enjoy the Superbowl who care..
I wish us all a great game!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Successful Trip!

Greetings Friends...

We are indeed back from our trip. And it was.. wonderful. The whole thing. From the early morning trip to the airport.. to running for the right gate in Denver... to my last post with the great state waffle, to the house hunting project. Which did go well!

Our fave house was by far the best that we saw. As I said in a fetlife post...some of the houses were like internet dates gone awry. The nice clean houses in the pics... were not necessarily so in person. The biggest that we had on our list, at 4,500 sq. ft. for like $189,000 was a total disaster. A bunch of really messy folks must have lived there as the walls and floor were badly stained and it would have taken a whole house makeover to make it right. There was a large pack of kids running around so there was evidence as to the culprits of some of it. And at that size... that's wayyyy to big of a project for us! There is indeed such a thing as too much house. At least for us.

So, after 19 houses.. we bid on our fave. The inspection report done in either July or Nov (it had two dates on it, so kinda hard to tell) had some big ticket items that would be needing repair in the next couple of years. So we bid at $9,400 less then the asking price, and they countered at about $7,000 under, so we accepted that. A better price then we hoped for. Now, we wait for the new house inspection that will be done on Mon. We are in the 10 day 'option' window since Wed. They are not living in the house and want it to close as fast as possible.. much like we do. We have some work to do here at Paladin's in the meantime, and will be working on that till time to go.

Which brings me to; I need to be out of my current place and have it as well cleaned as possible by the end of the month. So I have been bringing more things here, and on Sunday, before the Superbowl, we'll move the rest of my boxes, and the critters and settle in till moving time to Tx. That will give me a chance to go back and work on cleaning the hopefully soon to be empty place. My ex and his sub are staying there while she has some plumbing done and he has stuff he will need to get moved. He did get some done while Paladin and I were away, big pieces of furniture that his brother came and got. The rest, is not my problem, thank goodness! And his sub did come help me pack some yesterday, as she packed his things. Then I got to come have dinner and spend the nite here at Paladin's, as I suppose I will be doing from now on. It was.. a bit odd to be here on a Thur nite, but it is the beginning of our 24/7 life, and it is nice to feel him nearby so often now.

I have to admit.... I am happier then I have been in years and years, and it all lays at Paladin's remarkable feet. Every problem I seem to have, he finds a solution for. Within that happiness, are some dark shadows of my own that pass by from time to time and cause me sorrow. But Paladin is fast to shed light on them, and help me to think clearer about things.
Much of that is not being able to work now. This is my 4th week since I had to quite my job after my last 'client' started poking me and barking and growling in my face. Nope.... just couldn't handle that at this time with all the other stuff coming out, and the Vet Center doc said that I needed to quit that job, as it was making me much worse and not beneficial to my getting well, and she had me quote her in regards to that in my disability statement.

But..having NO income of my own is making me a bit crazy. I have never, ever lived off of others. Now... my VA disability claim was made 2 weeks ago today.. so they have 2 more in which to make a decision, as they are supposed to make it within 30 days of sending them all the statements of support, my Vet Center Doc's statement and my own statement about the whole gosh awful mess. Everyone feels I'll get a good percentage, and I'll get back pay to the beginning of Jan 2012... so that's one month past already at the least. But still.... for me.. this is one of the hardest things I've done. And sometimes.. I do feel so overwhelmed and useless that I just can't help breaking down sobbing. But.. dear dear Paladin is always just a txt away to comfort me, and remind me of how hard I've always worked, and looked after so many others. So why is it so hard for me to accept this support from him??? He is the only person I know who is making good money... getting good raises and bonus's. And he wants to take care of me. I hope time will make it all easier.. and I deeply hope I do get some form of disability so that I can help contribute to our new shared home.

Before our trip, my dear friend devyn had set me up with fet life so that I could meet some folks locally and make some new friends there in TX. . (if anyone wants to look us up there, I am MystressSwan) And it has been really, really enjoyable! I found some great groups to join, wrote a few folks local to our new area, who have responded very warmly and kindly. One of them is also in Second Life, so we've had a chance to meet there and chat. We met up with her and her husband for BBQ on Sunday and they were sooooo charming and fun! It really does feel like we have friends where we are moving to now. And they gave us some GREAT hints and pointers about living there. Such as which place to NOT get our power though, as well as some tips for other restaurants. And the husband was sure to tell us that the summers there are straight from hell sometimes. She said they stayed in the house the entire summer last year. Yikes! Well, we are getting a house with a pool, which was mandatory in both our minds. Everyone we met there in TX was just great. Warm and friendly.. and no attitudes at all. I felt right at home. Almost more then I do here in CA. Now, we are both anxious to begin our lives there.

Well... so that's it for now. Paladin's been too busy to do a post or reply to comments, but he will this Sunday, if things go fast and smoothly in the moving.

Wishing all our friends out there the best!