Friday, February 29, 2008

Toed Curls

Err... make that curled toes! And that.. is EXACTLY what Paladin gave to Me last nite. Wowww.. Truly mind blowing intimacy. The man... is good.. and getting better all the time! Looked at him afterwards and and said that he was the prime example of the perfect Pleasure Slave... and that.. he is! And that is what he wanted most to be.. so we are both in excellent shape and exceedingly happy. I think he actually blushed a wee bit this morning when I told him he could make a fortune as a gigolo. But.. it's not his style.. and besides that.. he's all MYNE, MYNE, MYNE, MYNE! How yummmmy!

During the evening we had a bit of a discussion about what he does and doesn't want or need to know when we spend time together. He says the he has no desire to ever know what it is I have in mind, or have planned. And in his case.. again.. because he is sooo in control of everything in his life, having Me control our meetings and our time together so he has no idea what to expect is exactly what he needs from Me.. and I dearly love giving it to him.

It was a show stopping evening.. and Paladin was in top form. Took Me quite a while to recover from it. I want to say a thank you to him for looking after Me so well after our bath.. I got a bit overheated.. and dizzy. Paladin very carefully held M up while drying Me off.. then sent Me off to bed.. where he cooled Me with ice.. and then plied Me with ice cream.. He was soo sweet and caring.. exactly how he is all the time to Me. But.. I deeply appreciated his looking after Me so well. After I recovered.. we had another amazingly wonderful time together. He's getting that cumming on the count of 10 down very very well.. just like little Persephone. (smile) And he can do it over and over again.. My My.. this hypnosis thing IS pretty darn great!

This morning I did not require pleasure of him however as I'll be getting LOTS of it over the weekend. And I am looking forward to that. We've not had time here since New Years.

This is just a short post before our weekend begins. I have some shopping to do and some more tydying up to do before Paladin's arrival for the weekend in a few hours. We are having dinner as a triad with friends who have met both My Knight and My Paladin.. and enjoy them both. So that will be quite an interesting evening.. and then tomorrow.. Paladin is going to help a friend of Myne to help fix her computer... and then off to the D/s energy workshop, dinner and 'play party'. We'll see exactly what that consists of and what we decide to do as Paladin and I are both very private people.

Neither of us will be posting till after the weekend is over I think.. So I hope everyone has a grand weekend for themselves out there!

Wishing as always, the best to all our readers out there,

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Thanks to Mystress

I love reading my dear Mystress's posts and when they are deal with praise and gratitude aimed at me...well i guess its slightly embaressing. I do try to do all i can for my Mystress and i am very flattered that my efforts garner such appreciation from my dear Mystress. I shall always try and keep improving what i can do for my Mystress...and to make the experience the most complete and fulfilling for my Mystress as I can.

It is also good to hear that my Mystress is sharing her knowledge with her good friends. I am totally sure that my Lady will learn so much from my dear Mystress. Mystress is so correct in expressing..that as a call the if you like something done one way over the other...then one should feel free to change it to that way...for it is your enjoyment that is the goal...and for one to do what they need to enjoy things fully. As for Mystress volunteering me... well i never been volunteered in such a manner but for my Mystress and my Lady's education...I am more than happy to help all i can.

I look forward to continuing both my Mystress education and my own..for the goal is to make what we have even more special...and that i am truly trying to deliver on.

Thank you Mystress for recognizing my time commitments means much to me that you are aware of it...and no...your tempremental nature is not a flaw...but merely a characteristic of my lovely celtic Mystress.


Appreciating My Paladin

I want to take a few moments as I like to do from time to time to express My deep appreciation of Paladin. I was chatting with a friend earlier tonight, and we were talking about how in our past it's been so hard to express how we like be touched, and interact in an intimate way. Her husband has a submissive that she is working on learning to appreciate and control. I have offered up Paladin as a sub in training for her, and he has welcomed the idea. So it was her first experience with her husband's sub that we were discussing and that she was not used to the idea of someone doing things to her that she liked...and being able to 'adjust' what she wanted the slave to do with no feelings of 'guilt' in 'demanding' too much from her.

I have never known anyone remotely like Paladin.. on many levels. And all that he does for Me intimately.. is always... well..... pretty darn mind blowing to be exact. He always takes My directions and upends them to make Me even more aroused then before.

The conversation made Me reflect on Paladin... Before him, I never really considered what this experience could be like, nor the depths of the possibilities in the way they have played out. Having such an amazing submissive has been a truly enlightening experience. He has certainly been training Me as much as I have been training him... perhaps even more.

I had been thinking about having wanted a sub in the past.. but I simply was not ready. Everything really DOES happen in the right time and situation. In this case, it has been the right person and situation for what I needed to develop to the best of Myne own abilities. And so.. I do very very sincerely appreciate Paladin for being exactly who he is. He has given and taught so very much to Me.. and I look forward to all the other things that I expect that he will teach Me.. and that I will teach him.

I do feel the need to express publicly.. all the appreciation for all that he does for Me.. the sacrifice of his time.. and how hard he tries every moment of every day to make Me as happy as he can.. and how well he puts up with My temprementalness.. and sometimes... over extended expectations of his time. I have to remember.. that I am only one cog in the wheels of his life.

So I thank him.. .yet again. and offer up My gratitude to him.. and wish him a good rest..
and a wonderful day.

And best to all of our guests and readers. May all of their relationships be as rewarding as ours!!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Being Proper

My Mystress asked me to make a post about being proper. What being porpoer means in a often not saying whats on ones mind directly how its on ones mind. Confused yet? Lets see if i can explain it some.

I can relate to all that when one gets into the moment and passions flare...its often a feral and animalistic response to blurt out whats on ones matter how curt or to the point the image and words may be...its just about being caught up in the moment...and even though i may do it on occasion...its still somewhat censored...why?

Well it is because my Mystress is a Lady...and being my Lady...i feel obligated to be as proper as i can for my Mystress. I know my Mystress responds much more positively to sudtle hints and innuendos...and if need requests...but the requests are made with language one would not call borderline crude. I won't go into graphics examples...i am sure we can all come up with some very imaginative and descriptive wants and desires...but its the ability to deliver this want and my a manner thats very proper. No i don't use medical terms :) but i choose to rather use romantic and sensual language rather than to the point and direct language...its just how my Mystress responds...and it takes time to learn what to say and when to say it.

I'd love to hear from our guests how they deliver wants or desires to their masters/mistress's. I definitely believe their is a time and place for both...its just learning when to use each....for me...its safer to be proper than to the point.


Plans in Motion

Had a wonderful chat with my Mystress tonight. We spoke on the phone for about an hour just chit chatting and discussing our plans for the weekend. We have a wonderful weekend planned and Mystress told me tonight that the energy workshop is ful up and they have started a waiting list. Sounds to be very popular and i am very happy Mystress got us in the moment it opened to the group. Looking forward to it very much. As for the night after the workshop...who knows what may happen..Mystress and i will just play it by ear and see what happens.

Already started the countdown till my Mystress is here tomorrow...very excited about it. We both seem very eager...ok ok..horny to see each other :)

Till my Mystress arrives....

I wait eagerly....


Sunday, February 24, 2008

The weekend in reflection

Well the weekend is winding down and my tanks are full for the weeks to come. Thank you again Mystress for the time to rewind, it was truly appreciated. I also hope that you had a good time with your weekend plans too.

On thing the weekend did give me time to do was think about what i have..what i am in with Mystress...and how special it is.

Mystress reads many blogs about relationships similar to our own and i to have read a few of them. Each seem to be very special and unique to their own. They are all very special to those involved and everyone seems to cherish what they have. I too feel the same. This time has allowed me to reinforce this in myself. When i first went looking for a mistress i had a general idea of what i was looking for. To be honest, i was looking for something very specific...i did not want a harsh mistress who thrived on humilation and pain but rather a mistress that was more interested in pleasures and of being served.

To this end, i met my Mystress, and along with all i was looking for, my Mystress add levels of chivalry and a knightly theme of service that i have truly come to love. It makes me very proud to be called Paladin, and to be my Mystress's paladin. Mystress wants me to take the knightly gesture of service further by pledging y service to her knight too...something i know feel, after talking to Mystress about it, would be a wonderful step to further our evolution. I am sure we will talk about it soon...and i look forward to where it may go.

Next weekend my Mystress and I have a wonderful full weekend planned and it shall be truly wonderful as usual. We are both looking forward to the energy work shop very much and it will be great to see how others experience energy exchanges and their views on it all. I'll definitely go to the event with an open mind and learn as much as i can.

Enjoy your friends company my Mystress....and i shall wait to see your sweet smile again...with much love


Saturday, February 23, 2008

Mystress is so biased

Thank you Mystress for your sweet words in your last post. They were really flattering and much appreciated. A friend of Mystress said she was very biased regarding me...and my Mystress's response was .. DAMN RIGHT. That too makes me very proud because i try to do all i can for Mystress. If when i cook for Mystress...that makes her happy...that makes me happy. If i bring Mystress water or wait on her...that makes her happy and in turn me too.

I shall keep doing all i can for my keep her happy and if Mystress finds that sexy...then i am very flattered.

Off to sleep with thoughts of Mystress


Friday, February 22, 2008

What I Find Sexy...

This is something of a take off of Devestatingly's post about 'Making him feel sexy'. I decided to do one on what I find sexy about Paladin and the things that he does and that I would want him to do that I would find sexy.

First right off is easy.. when he kneels and give Me his sign of fealty. OH-MY-GOSH! Yeah...that's hot.. right off the top. When he comes into a room and gives Me the sign, or when I come into a room and he gives it to Me. When he (thanks again to Dev for her post about Joscelin doing it) kneels whenever he brings Me something. Yes.. it's required.. but each time.. I find it amazingly arousing. Paladin in a black or gray shirt, collar and restraints... is soooo erotic. Watching him cook for Me and serve Me dinner in that outfit..wowza...that's very very hot too.

Next is also pretty simple.. his obvious arousal... uh huh.. I find that amazingly hot at well. Pet is... well.. very well endowed in that area. I keep him naked and in just his collar and restraints as much of the time as possible. I only let him be dressed when it's too cool in his apartment for him not to be. So a naked AND aroused Paladin.. is a very very sexy Paladin. YUMMMMY!

His voice... is something else I find very sexy.. the way he phrases things sometimes is different from us Americans... and I rather like it when he speaks too fast and I can't quite understand him and I have to have him repeat himself to Me. I also swoon when he says sexy things to Me.. hot, erotic things said in the dark of nite at moments of extreme passion. He's such a proper person.. that it always surprises Me when he does. MMmmmm.. even more erotic based on that.. and his lovely accent.

When he is blindfolded and tied spread eagle on his bed.. mmmmm.. that's right up there too. All that vulnerability... that' soooo hot! Just waiting for whatever I may want to do him. Which could be ANYTHING. In that same kinda category.. is when he is kneeling in the bath and I am soaping him up.... and then I tap the side of the tub, and he lays down on the edge... and I soap up his back and backside... along with that.. is when I am drying him off.. and he has his arms extended out to touch the walls and he must stay in that position until I release him. This is sort of a position of 'self restraint'... and I love how he looks in this position.

Begging... when I tease pet.. and won't let him touch or kiss Me.. and he begs to. I find that very very sexy too. I love keeping him in that place where he begs and begs. The longer I do it.. the more he escalates... and the more and more his energy builds.. and the more erotic I find it.

Things that I would find erotic.. is spontaneity.. e-mails... cards... surprising Me with the unexpected. Compromise.. when I think that I'm not going to see him.. and then 'surprise'.. I get too.. well then.... I can't help but find that sexy. As far as the e-mails and cards...I've mentioned this to Paladin before.. and it's something that he's not really caught onto yet. But.. seeing all the wonderful things that he does do.. well.. I can't fault him too much. Its just something that I would really, really like.. and that I would find both touching and sexy.

But what I find the most sexy.. is his submission to Me. The secret that only I (and a few close friends of Myne know) about Paladin's submission. As I've said more then several times... that Paladin is big, strong and not remotely submissive to anyone but Me. That.. I find sooo sooo erotic and hot! Paladin is built very sexily as well. broad strong chest and well muscled arms... those amazing 'rugby thighs'...... his hot hot ass.... mmmmm... yup.. it's all so very very hot. and sexy. I've never ever had a man of his caliber who would do not just whatever I desired.. but would generally go out of his way to do that which would please Me.. and be arousing to Me.

Now that...

Thank you for your post tonight Paladin... I look forward to whatever it is that you have in mind to make up for this weekend... but.. I also want for you to get the most out of it, that you use the weekend to get deeply and fully relaxed as you need to be. And.. I'll look forward to dinner with friends and the energy workshop we are taking together next weekend. All of it will be quite wonderful I'm sure.

Take care My beloved pet... rest well... and deeply.
Hug and warm smiles,
all ways.. YOUR

Gratitude for my Mystress

Every day i am grateful for belonging to my Mystress...for being her slave...for Mystress being my only Mystress ever...and someone i cherish so much. As Mystress said in her post...she is tempremental at times and often asks me how i feel about it...well..all i can say is that its part of my Mystress...and it is these characteristics...and some one would say flaws although i don't...that make us who we are...that makes one admire and cherish the other for these differences.

I came home awfully early tonight..just after 7 as the long tough week caught upto me rather suddenly. I knew it would happen for the week was extremely rough...and again...i have another thing to be very grateful for..and thats the respite Mystress granted me this weekend....i truly do appreciate it.

And as Mystress said...what shall i do to make it up...well i have taken note on that Mystress and am conjuring up some sort of pay back for my dear sweet Mystress.

I go to finish my chat with my Mystress before retiring early....


Easier Said Then Felt

Sometimes.. it's easier to say that 'it's okay'.. then it is to really feel it. And I can say I understand... but that doesn't mean I feel all that understanding. It' all logical and such.. but I'm not always very logical.

A little background....
Paladin was supposed to have reserved Valentines weekend for Me.. but he forgot. Instead, he did his usual Fri nite out with his friends, and was invited to a special 'Thank you' dinner with friends on Sat nite. This was not exactly what I'd had in mind for a 'special Valentines Day' weekend with ME... but by the time we talked about it.. it was too late to change plans. I was disappointed.. but bucked up and dealt with it.

I did get to see him on Sunday afternoon and to spend the evening, which WAS very nice. Again.. not exactly what I'd had in mind, but sometimes things come up and I was willing to accept it. He felt bad enough about forgetting about the Valentines weekend that he said that if he did not have to help his friend move this weekend, that he would make it up by spending the next TWO weekends with Me, and that would include Fri nites. Well.. I've certainly NEVER seen him for two Fri nights in a row....heck, I've never seen him two weekends in a row and this was quite an exciting idea. So this was a very acceptable make up to Me to make up for him both forgetting about Valentines and for seeing other folks on one of the two weekends a year I had requested. However.. I told him that as much as I would LOVE to see him two Fri nites in a row.. that I thought his friends would find that a bit odd.. and he agreed.. so I told him that I would not accept seeing him for the two Fridays in a row. I do TRY to be understanding of his needs and friendships. And I don't want to be too much of an imposition on him. So while two weekends of Fri and Sat nites was the offer, I turned down the first Fri nite.

Now.. fast forward to the other nite...
Since there was a good chance he would be helping his friend during the days, we had discussed seeing him in the evenings if he did have to help. But, I was not fully planning on him being available during the dinner time as when he has helped his friend in the past, his friend had wanted to thank him by feeding him dinner, but had thought that some time later in the jacuzzi wold be quite nice, especially since there is a good chance it's going to rain.

Well, he's not heard from his friend about the weekend yet, but Paladin says that he is having a very rough week at work, and has a huge favor to ask Me.. that if he does not have to help his friend, can we delay until the following weekend. It's only part way through the week and he is almost brain dead and he feels he's going to need to be able to recharge himself. Obviously.. he needs to do this alone.
Yeah.. we can.

Am I disappointed? Extremely. But.. I am not surprised. and I told him so. The reason I am not surprised is that I had a feeling that this was coming. Paladin does his best having time totally alone to recharge. He had a busy weekend last weekend seeing his friends on Fri, his other friends on Sat nite, and then Me on Sunday. Then he's seen Me for Tue nite (yes, we did end up having a short evening together and I didn't spend the nite, but had a late dinner and then left a bit after 10). And we had a nice evening last nite as well.

It was however.. after something of a difficult day.

I know that one of My weakness's is being...well.. temperamental sometimes as well as illogical. And being stubborn when wanting to get MY way. I really was quite alright and quite understanding when Paladin first asked Me for the weekend off. My logical side was certainly prevailing.

However.. after I read his posting.. I realized that I WASN'T feeling very understanding. As the evening progressed after he'd gone off to bed, I found Myself tossing and turning.. and working Myself up some.. being disappointed that a wonderful storm was brewing and the weekend evening I had been looking forward to had been plucked from My grasp. It was My own fault that I did not sleep well, tossing and turning, going over things in My head. As Paladin says, I am inclined to 'think too much'... and he would be correct. I do. I did not sleep well, finally, around 6am, I did fall asleep and did not awake until almost 10 as I was off work.

When I did awaken, I found Myself.. disgruntled about My agreement to let Paladin off the hook for seeing Me this weekend.... If he did not have to help his friend move, then I would have loved nothing more then a loooong day with nothing but pleasures and cuddling.. and perhaps a movie. Tucked in and relaxed. The more I thought about it.. the more disappointed I became. There was too much thinking going on..

Meanwhile, Paladin in his delightful ignorance assumed that all was well no idea that My version of a 'perfect storm' was brewing. However.. he began to suspect that something was not quite right when I did not answer his morning text by 10am.

You see readers... I do know that I can upset Paladin far too easily and I knew that this was Myne own private battle to wrestle and try to resolve as best I could. His request had been logical, even if it was not what I as Mystress desired. After all, he HAS been spending lots and lots of time with Me... certainly more then anyone else in his circles. And as he expressed last nite, more then any of his friends that he has known for the past 13 years.

But I was still feeling resentful yesterday before that discussion and I did not want to say that and I honestly did not know what to say that would not upset him. So instead... I tried to keep Myne own peace. However.. this was a tipoff to Paladin that I was upset. I knew that almost anything I would say would make him feel bad, and that I genuinely I did not want to do. He was left feeling that there was nothing that he could do that was right.. and while as a Mystress I don't 'have' to be fair.. I generally WANT to be.

Still.. I couldn't find a way to communicate to him what I was feeling without upsetting him., But.. there seemed to be no way to avoid it and no matter what I did.. I couldn't avoid it. And.. I did upset Paladin.. and then we were both upset.

But.. we did have a very good conversation all about it and I hope that we've found a way to work out better communications so that I don't upset Paladin. I will try to be more logical.. and not so temperamental.

And I was also able to express My feelings to him about the weekend... he has agreed that he'll have to find a way to make it up to Me.

So.. things are not always easy.. or smooth for either side of the D/s nickel, but this is a very real picture of it. Things are not always rosy. But we do our best to communicate to the best of our ability. Sometimes it's downright rough. We are both very sensitive individuals who are also very observant of each other's moods. Paladin is one of the few men I've ever known who watches Me so closely. He can immediately tell if I am a bit off about something simply by the way I do or don't look. He observes every expression, smile and chuckle and will more often then not ask the reasons for them. When I am feeling down or upset, I tend to look down, but Paladin always lifts My chin. He says that Mystress should not look down but up. Sometimes I just want to hide, but he won't let Me, unless I tell him to leave Me be, which I rarely do. I must admit, that I love that he does this.

When we both get a bit upset, it can easily spiral if we are not careful. During our long talk last nite, we discussed the best ways for Me to communicate to him when I am 'stewing' about something, without upsetting him. He says he would rather know then not know.

One of the things I did try to re-iterate with him is that I AM the Mystress... so if I want to have a temper tantrum... I get to. He is the pet.. he does NOT get to have a temper tantrum. Is it fair? Well.. as we have discussed before, this is NOT a democracy.. its something of a 'benevolent dictatorship'. He says he would have accepted if I had denied him his request to have the weekend off.... but I don't think he would have been very happy about it. Still.. he WILL OWE ME. And I most certainly.. will plan to collect.. and it will be non-negotiable then.

Last nite.. it was a cross between wanting to be sorry for being so upset, or wanting to whip him with My crop good and hard for making Me so darned angry - and worried...and he knows what I mean by that.

He has not said yet how... but I will be curious to see as to how he plans on making this up to Me.
And this time.. there WILL BE NO letting him off the hook.

Meanwhile... as always, I wish the best to all,

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

My Dear Mystress

The evening is over and my Mystress and I just finished a wonderful evening of chats. Plans have been made for tomorrow and we are once again both looking very much forward to it. Rituals shall be present and it shall be a very wonderful night.

I did do something for the first time tonight...and it was very painful to do. I had to ask my Mystress to delay our weekend plans for the first time ever. It was difficult to do for sure for i always love to be with my Mystress and will miss my Mystress very much so. We do have some wonderful plans for the following weekend and of course i will see my Mystress before then too.

So a special thank you to my Mystress for being so understanding...and till tomorrow..sleep well dear sweet Mystress.


Monday, February 18, 2008

A lovely day

My Mystress and I spent a wonderful day together on Sunday...truly wonderful. We lounged about...layed and cuddled in bed, shared some lovely meals and of course wonderful conversation. Our bath was...shall we say interesting...just before our bath and during it...Mystress and I explored some new horizons using a new toy. Plenty of laughter was had by both as we gave it a was great to laugh with Mystress during our exploration as it definitely relaxed us both and made it all the easier...Mystres seems to have many more ideas regarding the toy with plenty of her friends eagerly awaiting a report on how it is and how it feels.

Mystress has company tonight...a good friend of hers...and they shall be enjoying a wonderful dinner together. I wish them a wonderful evening. Tomorrow Mystress has a late night meeting so we shall be missing our normal night. Although i am sad to not be with my Mystress tomorrow...i shall relive the wonderful sunday to get me through the night...and closer to Thursday.

I must also apologize to my Mystress for last night. I had a tough time sleeping with a headache and did keep my Mystress up. I do apologize and it was good to hear that you took a nap today...don't feel bad about it dear Mystress...and do enjoy the naps.

Off to bed early.


Sunday, February 17, 2008

In reply to my Mystress.

It is true...Mystress does know my secret...and yes Mystress does cherish it and keep it safe. Now many may be asking why its a secret...the truth is no one would believe me if i did tell anyone what i do for Mystress. It is so far out of the normal for me people would not even relate it to me. But then why keep it a secret...well...its more for comfort than anythng else...why would one introduce the possibility of scrutiny when without sharing the secret..there is no chance for it. In a nut shell...i keep it a secret so that i do not have to deal with the questions, explanations or justification i would have to give. Rather simple solution i know...and Mystress keeps my secret safe except form her close friends...for i would never want my dear Mystress keeping anything secret from her close friends, even those activities that are most embarresing for me. I do hope that keeping such a truly as erotic as Mystress says it is for her...for that in itself would be another means of providing Mystress with happiness i didn't think of.

As to balancing...i can attest that the art of balancing can be very very difficult. I have explained to Mystress before that to me being "perfect" or atleast getting as close to to be as balanced as i can be. By that i mean commiting myself to all aspects of my life, to all my friend, family and of course my Mystress in the most equitable manner as possible. Why i do this is because each aspect is as important to me as the next...and to not risk upsetting one or the other...i try my best to make sure each gets an equal share. Well that is until Mystress entered my life, for Mystress gets the lions share of all my attention for Mystress is that special to me.

So one can see by my Mystress's post about balance, that it truly is a difficult task. To make sure everyone is happy to the best of ones ability. Knowing when to do something with one aspect and when to change to the other is the most difficult part. Time...time is another hard part for one only has so much time to share with all those that one wants to share it with. In a way, i guess i am very happy that my Mystress is learning this hard lesson...for it shows in a round about way how much i am trying to do all i can for her. As i mentioned before...Mystress gets the lion share of my time by far...and i do this because i need to give Mystress her time...her time to be be happy and loved...and of course to get the pleasure she needs. The only advice i can give my Mystress is that achieving balance can be a difficult thing to do. The more one does it...the greater the effects and the less backwards and forwards one goes. Being equitable is the goal of complete balance.

Now off i go to wait for my dear sweet loving gorgeous sexy cute and oh so loving Mystress to arrive...

With much excitement..and obvious arousal...


Saturday, February 16, 2008

The Erotic Knowledge of Paladin's Secret

Paladin has a secret... and I'm the only one who knows it.

Paladin is big, tall, strong, muscular and handsome. He has an amazingly sexy British voice. He is well cultured and polite. He is an extremely well educated and brilliant man, well employed and well thought of by his bosses and co-workers. Probably considered a brilliant star with a rising career. And one of the last people any of them would ever think of as a 'submissive'. He is the consummate problem solver and considered very much in control of everything by his friends who have no idea and no knowledge of the Paladin that I know. I doubt that any of them could remotely picture him kneeling and offering himself in submission to anyone. He is an intensely private person who keeps most things to himself.

I am the only one... who knows the hidden side of Paladin. I was thinking about this tonight while puttering around and thinking about Paladin having dinner with his friends. How he appears to them and how they know him. Sitting in their living room.. or while at dinner. He's been there lots of times. Certainly, they have known him much longer then the six months that I have known him... however, regardless of that, I know him much, much better. I know his deepest and darkest secrets. I've touched him mind and body and heart in ways that they have no idea of. He has whispered his secrets and desires to Me in the dark of night. Nor will they ever know him as I do. Nor does anyone but Me for that matter.

I sent him a text a while ago, and told him to go stroke his cock for Me.... and he did it. For Me. And they'll never know more then that he went to the restroom. But I'll know.. and better then that.. he'll know. I know that there is this side of him that is hidden behind his summer blue eyes and extremely proper and dignified bearing. That behind those eyes...simmers a hot passion and desire to be marked, teased and to give up his control to Me.

Sometimes, I'll have him go to work 'commando'... and again.. no one but Myself and Paladin knows. And then, I'll tell him to touch himself to make himself hard.. to stroke himself just short of cumming... and he will do it for Me. I love it.. knowing the secret... of Paladin. I can' t begin to tell you how erotic I found all this. To know his secret. To be the only one.. who knows.

Words don't fully to express.. how really amazing this is. Knowing his secret.. and sharing it with him. Indulging in it.. and celebrating it with him. And I love.. fulfilling those sides of him that need Me.. just as I ... need him.

And his secret... is and always will be safe with Me..
just like he is... and like I am .. with him.
And we protect and cherish each other.
And... I love that he is MYNE.. MYNE MYNE MYNE!!!

MY amazing, incredibly, sexy.. Paladin..

Best to all,

The Difficulty of the Balancing Act

Its hard. Sometimes.. really hard. This being in charge and supposing to make not just all the decisions.. but the RIGHT decisions.

From the outside looking in...I think it often appears that being the 'boss' of the relationship is easy. You simply decide what it is you want to do, and Command it. Your slave kowtows to you. and blammo.. everyone's happy. Or at least it's not negotiable and the Owner goes blythly along Their way with Their slave in obedient tow.

Nada. Nope.. not the way it goes. Well.. at least for Me.

Doesn't work that way. Sometimes it does... but other times... there are so darn many other things to take into consideration. If it didn't matter to Me what Paladin thought, or needed then perhaps it would be easier. In some of the other blogs I read, the Masters or Mistress's make Their decisions and the slaves live by 'em. I wish I could be more that way sometimes. But.. alas... I'm not. Perhaps it's because I'm a primarily a healer. And.. because to Me, as an 'Owner'.. that means looking after My property.. physically, mentally and emotionally. Keeping all of the things that he needs to be happy, healthy and well in as good a balance as I can manage to.

This sometimes causes Me great difficulty. I mean.... if I was to just merrily roll along, doing only what I wanted to do, that would be one heck of a lot easier for sure. I'd get My way all the time and he'd just have to deal with it. And there ARE somethings that I am that way about. But even so.. I find Myself second guessing Myself all the time. Analyzing My decisions and choices and Commands.. trying to evaluate if what I am doing, or have done is really the best for him.

I try to be fair..and..balanced. I mean.. I really do try. My ego is such that I can't go on willy nilly as if this really is just all about Me, cuz it's not. Paladin isn't just a chunk of something that I own. He's a living, breathing, sensitive and amazing man. Yes, he is obedient.. and he would pretty much allow whatever I wanted or needed from him. And he doesn't always tell Me what I need to know to make the best choice. Sometimes I have to figure it out for Myself.. and that's not easy either. Sometimes I have to Command him to be honest with Me and speak his real thoughts... and even then, I'll get that "whatever you want Mystress" from him.

Yeah.. I could take that and run with it. But the thing is.. I KNOW him pretty well now. I know his mind.. I know his body. I know his strengths.... and I know his weakness's. Even though he doesn't want Me to remember those very much...part of My job... is having to. At least My job as I see it.

Sometimes.. .. I do want to just beat the boy's ass. I get mad and I want to take it out on him. I get frustrated.... and I want him to make it easy for Me. I want him to tell Me what I want to hear (and mean it!). I want him to tell Me that he wants to see Me, to beg to see Me... even if he's sick to death of being around people and the last thing he wants is company that he not only has to be nice to, but to be subservient and obedient to. And I don't want to have to think about that, how he feels or what he wants.. or even worse.. what I know he needs deep down inside. Sometimes, doing all that thinking is just too overwhelming.. and sometimes I wish I could just be a hard ass who didn't care about what their slave needs.
But. then.. I still want to ge MY way.. even if it's not what he wants, or is best for him. Sometime when I ask him what he wants or needs, I want him to tell Me, I want him to tell Me what he really wants.. and what he needs and to not make ME choose.

But.. that's not the rules to this particular relationship. In this one... I HAVE to choose. That's one reason he's here.. so he doesn't have to. He does enough of that in everything else that he's involved with in his life. And as I've posted before, I'm a Libra.. and we go back and forth, back and forth.. enough to frustrate My own self. And I'm here, because I WANT to choose most of the time. I just want to be able to make the best decision for us both, and for it to be right and positive for us both.

We are both here because we both generally get what we need out of this. Most of the time it's pretty easy, and vastly rewarding. And that's what matters the most. Even when it's difficult for Me, the rewards of being Paladin's Mystress, far outweigh everything else, and I know that this too will pass. And that it will all be easier for Me... and for him.

Paladin is My great treasure.. and I am always honored that he has chosen to belong to Me.
He is such a positive thinker, and he is so much in the moment and never dwells on the negative. Once he decides something, I don't think he second guesses himself. I need to learn to be more like him in that way.. and I am working on it.

He is off tonight with his friends for the 'thank you' dinner.. and I truly hope he has a good time. And.. I'll stop second guessing Myself about tomorrow (which is what stirred all this up in the first place, thinking he needed at least one day alone and then him later asking Me to come see him, but not really relaying to Me that he wanted Me to, and I was feeling more like he was doing it because I wanted him to) and have a good time with him, and make sure we both get a chance to relax.

Soo.. I wish the best to everyone out there as always,

A lovely Post

Mystress as usual made a lovely post...and my Mystress described the evening with perfect words...just like the evening went...Mystress always does a wonderful job posting and i must commend her effort for Mystress pends many hours writing her blogs...making sure they are perfect and that they convey the meaning and feelings she wishes to convey. Although i have come far in my own writings..i still strive to be as good as my Mystress...even if i could just be 10% as good i will be happy since my Mystress is amazing with her words.

Mystress has company and i am preparing for my funcion tonight...tomorrow my Mystress and I will spend the day and night together and as usual it will be magical. Conversation and communication will be present as well as much pleasure...for we truly do enjoy our time together. Starting down the clock... tic tok tic tok


Friday, February 15, 2008

MORE and What Led Up To It...

I want to start this out. by saying that we had a WONDERFUL and AMAZING Valentines Day.
Paladin gave Me the most beautiful card.. with a heart wrenchingly lovely hand written note in it. And.. and one heck of a surprising great gift to boot!

As yummy dinner and desert.. and I was thrilled to spend the evening and nite with him. And then he asked Me to stay and sleep in and have lunch with him today, which I loved doing. It made it all the more special!

I told Paladin last nite.. that I want what he wants Me to want..
and that.. is..

That is the word that he's always said that he likes for Me to say. MORE, MORE, MORE.

What I told Paladin last nite.. is that MORE.. isn't always just about sex though. In some cases.. it's about more.. control. And in this case.. that is what I want.

Yes. he gives me lots of it as it is. But now, I've given him a new set of protocols to follow.

From now on, when he comes home, he is to put his restraints on and wear them all the time when he is home and sleep in them.. and instead of sleeping in shorts, he is to always sleep naked like he does when I am there. And.. on a weekend, he is not to take his restraints off until after we've chatted if we are going to. If he's not going out, then he is to stay in his restraints for the duration of the day. Mmmm.. must admit, I LOVE the idea of Paladin doing all of his household chores in his restraints on weekends.

And....I am not going to give him grace on Fri nites when he is out with his friends anymore. He HAS to write it or face the consequences. Don't care what time he gets in. Paladin keeps saying that he wants Me to be stronger...and that he is proud of Me. Well.. I am going to be giving him even more reason to be so.

I have tried to be careful to balance Myself with making sure that Paladin has his own autonomy to a large degree with the others in his life. And I will continue to. However.. I have decided that there will be times when I will demand certain things from him, and leave the balancing to him to figure out. Doing the blog on Friday nites is going to be one of those things.

He is to do a blog for every one that he missed. He used to do a blog on the nites that I saw him while I was on My way home, and I did give him leave that if I spent the nite, then he did not have to do a blog that nite.. and that rule will still hold true. However, when he has a make up blog to do, he's to do it early in the day, not waiting until the end of the day to do it unless it's a busy workday. Some of these are rules I had given him in the past.. but I had not really been enforcing them. He has been put on notice.. that I am going to be doing so from now on.

What trigged all this you may ask? Well.....when I was first setting down the rules for Paladin, I set down two times of the year that I absolutely wanted him to reserve for Me. And that was the weekends of My birthday.. and Valentines Day. He remembered My birthday for sure... but not so much Valentines Day. OOOOoooooops! He's never 'celebrated' it before, nor had a reason to. (smile) Well.. he certainly does now!

I want to preface this by saying that I am very proud of Paladins popularity with his friends.. and also that he is genuinely counted on by some of them to help. He has a dear friend whose been having some personal difficulties, and Paladin has been of enormous help to that friend.. that friends wife asked Paladin to join them for a 'thank you' dinner on Sat nite. Paladin had in fact spoken with Me about helping this friend, because in the past, he would not have felt that he could really help this friend, being of the sort to not want to intrude on his friends personal difficulties. He specifically asked for My advice in helping this friend and I was again, proud that he was stepping out of his comfort zone to help this friend.

In the last few weeks, I purposely did not remind Paladin of My desire to see him this weekend to see if he would remember. And when he told Me online the other nite that his friends wife had asked him for this special dinner Sat nite, I did not remind him of My previous Command about the weekend and felt at that point it would be tacky for Me to bring up the long ago mentioning of My desires to see him this weekend.

I have a submissive friend that had asked Me awhile back if I had any plans with Paladin for Valentines Day. I had told her that yes, I was seeing him on that day (as it fell on our regular day, a Thur) and that I hoped to see him over the weekend as well as I had told him that the two weekends a year I wanted to spend with him were My birthday.. and.. Valentines Day. When I saw her again last weekend she asked about My weekend plans with Paladin and I told her about the thank you dinner with his friends. She looked at Me and nodded, but I could almost see what she was thinking....

Now.. because of Paladin's friends wife inviting him to a 'thank you ' dinner, (and I am very understanding of that, and again, proud of of him for being such a good friend.) I hadn't really planned to mention any of this to Paladin now. but simply bring it up at another time, especially since Valentines Day will fall on a Friday next year. I know how much he beats himself up. And... after all I WAS seeing him on Valentines Day..

However.. at dinner last nite I guess I was a bit subdued while thinking about all this. Paladin is always very observant of Me.. and he could tell that something wasn't quite right. And so.. he asked Me what it was. I was still reluctant to tell him. But. as he was persisistant.. I finally told him about My friends comment. Paladin had something of struck look on his face.. and it was evident that he was upset at himself. And.. as some of us know, once we start thinking and talking about somethings, they can build a momentum of their own. I felt bad when Paladin said that he had "screwed up again". But.. to some degree, he had as he hadn't remembered at all.

We continued our discussion during our bath. It was.. uncomfortable for Paladin. He doesn't like sad and difficult conversations, and this one was a bit of both. I brought up several good points.. including that we both have to accept some things we don't like. I understood his needing to do this dinner with his friends, but I didn't have to like that it was during what I had considered to be a special time that I had specified as wanting to spend with him. But.. that was all irrelevant now as the plans had been set in motion for this dinner, and I could only come out looking badly being upset by it.

Still.. I was feeling a bit.... riled up about things and feeling.. out of control about this whole weekend and dinner thing. And there IS something else that I was still.. disconcerted by as well.

Paladin had gotten his hair cut over the weekend and very darn short at that. I had seen it in the pics he had sent, but when I saw him on Tue, I was surprised by how short it was. It is just about impossible to grab him by it now, which of course, is one of My super favorite things to do. Even he said that the lady cutting it had cut it shorter then usual. Okay.. so that's not his fault either... but when I had seen him last week, I had really, really been enjoying running My fingers through it. It was a bit long, and it certainly was time for a trim.. but he has such beautiful soft, thick hair and it had also.. just felt... so.. (sigh) wonderful. Then, to see it chopped so short.. and... I am a Navy veteran.. and no offense to any active, or ex Marine readers out there.. but well.. everyone knows that Sailors and Marines have a thing between 'em.. and years later.. I still don't like the feel of a Marine haircut. And that is exactly what this fresh new haircut is feeling like. So... I was pretty upset about that on Tuesday. Although we have worked it out that as soon as his hair is at what I feel is the absolute minimum that I am comfortable with, I'll let him know, and that will be our new guideline for shortness.

Anyways.. so over all I was feeling out of control of several things.... and that kinda pissed Me off.. so I felt .... inspired to take control in some other ways. I had been thinking about wanting him to wear his restraints when he was home for a while. Now he is Commanded to.

Anyways.. the end all and be all.. is that we really did have a wonderful evening.. and I AM going to spend time on Sunday with Paladin.. and we'll try out his fascinating gift to Me. (grin)

And all is well.. and we are bonded closer then ever.

So.. wishing everyone out there the very best...
all ways,

Our First Valentines

Well Valentines has come and gone...and it was our first of many to come. Mystress and i had a wonderful night with many of our normal rituals in place and performed. The evening was filled with a very high level of mutual admiration and love...we looked into each others eyes and smiled and enojyed a wonderful evening together.

Our bath was easily 2 hours long and we had a very very intense conversation expressing all that we had on our minds lately. Some parts were alittle difficult to talk about...mainly my forgetfulness of dates. Mystress had only asked for two weekends guaranteed, that being her birth day and valentines. My mind was so busy concentrating on Valentines day and for our weekend of the 1st of March that i had a brain fart, and made a commitment to a friend for Saturday without remembering what Mystress asked many months ago. Its definitely no excuse and needless to say i felt like crap when Mystress brought it to my attention. In an attempt to atleast apologize in a small way Mystress and I have plans for Sunday. I promise Mystress that your birthday weekend is definitely on my mind and i shall not forget that one.

After this bath..we spent the evening in pleasure...with me grovelling and earning back my Mystress's love...and after hours of grovelling Mystress finally said i was worthy to be with her and it was magical. A late night and we drifted off to sleep.

Mystress spent the morning tucked in bed so that she could sleep lunch we wereonce again united for a short time before we went our seperate ways.

I am chatting with my Mystress as i write this and she has informed me that she has been working on her blog since 4is this is all i got to say. Mystress has such a skill for the written word that i look forward to reading the post and writing back on my Mystress's words.

Off i go to chat with my Mystress some more...

Waiting for my Mystress's words


Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day!

7:01... I get a text from Paladin.. "Morning and happy valentines day dear Mystress" What a amazing way to start the day!

As the day has progressed, he has been sending Me wonderful text messages and is making Me feel truly special! I hope that he knows how wonderfully special he is to Me as well!

I am spending the day with My knight and last nite we celebrated Valentines Day for us. Tonight, I will spend the evening with Paladin.

It was two years ago today that things blew up with our previous 3rd of a couple of years. It was an ugly and difficult time as he was into mind games and was not honest with us about some pretty important things. More of withholding then outright dishonesty, but it did affect us both the same way. My knight was very upset at him, and had said that he hoped in time, we would find someone much more suitable and honest for us. We have remained good friends with him, but I can say that neither of us would totally trust him again, and I would certainly never be intimate with him again, although he has tried to initate it several times. But.. ever since finding Paladin, that avenue has been totally closed off as not a direction I would ever want to go again.

My knight has enormous respect for Paladin and is very very pleased with how things are working out with us. He calls it "sending Me off to the spa" when I spend the evening with Paladin. (chuckling) He is very appreciative of how content Paladin keeps Me.. and that Paladin also encourages My control and domination so well. It is an interesting relationship that the three of us have developed. And I hope our readers make no mistake in knowing that as unconventional as this is, there are indeed 3 people involved. My knight knows of the things that transpire between Paladin and I, and he is always pleased about it. My knight, has been in a triad relationship with another couple for some 30 years now, and he sees them as often as they are available as well. He fully expects the 3 of us to have a long and enjoyable relationship... as do I and as Paladin has told Me that I will always be in the topmost part of his heart. (smiles)

So.. we move into the future together, each day better then the one before. There are some new possibilities on the horizon that we have been discussing and will possibly post here as they arise. As always, Paladin is very supportive and a wonderful springboard for Me to discuss many of these things with. He understand the D/s part of Me in ways that My dear knight doesn't, but that pleases My knight that Paladin does, and that he is looking out for My best interests in that regards.

I do expect tonight to be a wonderful evening and I look forward to sharing it with Paladin.

Like Paladin, I wish all of our readers near and far a wonderful Valentines Day....

Smiles and well wishes to all,

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wonderful evening and more to come.

Last night was a wonderful evening with my Mystress and once again...all i can say is WOW WOW WOW...I love my Mystress. The evening was more in line with our previous nights...highly ritualized and very close and caring. We watched Big brother...a favortite show of Mystress and the skipped our bath to spend some time in bed. OUr plans changed some and i had to get up an hour early...i felt bad springing this on Mystress as i only found out just before i left work and had no means to address it with Mystress.

Mystress was quite amazing in adjusting to the news...and i publicly thank Mystress for being so understanding. Mystress referenced our wake up time as Early dark thirty..and boy was it dark when we woke. Again thank you Mystress for understandiing and being so wonderful.

Tomorrow is once again a night with my Mystress...and i am sure things will be very special and intense tomorrow for a number of reasons...definitely looking forward to tomorrow.

I hope all our guests have a wonderful Valentines day tomorrow to and enjoy your plans whatever they may be.


Monday, February 11, 2008

More reflections on 'Dom/me drop'

Paladin does indeed describe the situation as it was last nite. And I want to say right off, that it was not his fault that he did not know what I was experiencing. I had wanted to try and deal with it Myself, but in the end, felt better after chatting with him. Paladin's kindness and ready helpfulness is inspiring to say the least. I had finally written him a email explaining My feelings to him. Sometimes I write and don't send the letters, as I try to handle things by Myself first. Other times... as I have Commanded him to communicate with Me.. I have promised to communicate with him. And in those times, I have to abide by My promise to him. This is a two-way street. The flow back and forth of communications between Mystress and submissive is vitally important.

If I don't communicate clearly with him... how can I in all reality expect him to communicate as openly and honestly as I want him to?

It also makes Me wonder.. how many other Dom/mes out there find themselves in withdrawal from their slaves? I think.. that what I called 'Dom drop' to Paladin last nite, is much less common then 'sub drop'. Many subs are needy.. and sometimes even clingy... and hence, the Dom/mes feel that neediness from their slaves. While I do not doubt that Paladin does 'need' Me.... he is never ever.. 'needy' or clingy. Would I want him to be? Hmmm..well.... I suppose sometimes... I wish he was. But... I musingly consider... how different an individual would that make him? He is so totally... self sufficient... and strong. He has strong family relationships with his parents and siblings, friends that he sees weekly and has for many years. He is totally fulfilled in his work. He has said that he does 'need' Me...... but again.. he is not.. needy. So.. I suppose.. even though he says he 'needs Me'...... I don't really feel that craving neediness. He's never begged to see Me outside of our regular times. I once expressed to him that I wished he did just so I could say 'no'.... that he needed to be with his friends, or family... or especially.. he 'needs' to be alone. He didn't see the point in that.. why ask for something you don't really want.. or need.. especially if you know your simply going to be refused? I expect that's a good point. But.. I never said I was logical.. and I'm not always.

So.. all this leads Me to facing the fact that there are times that I am much more needy in this relationship then Paladin is. And I generally try to keep that knowledge to Myself. Find other ways to amuse Myself. Keep My mind off of him. Distract Myself with Myne own friends and family. And the majority of the time that works... but.. there is still that part of Me that misses the 'power rush' that I get from being around My owned property.. from Commanding him.. from the intense energy exchange. I never feel that I can or should ask for more from him than he currently gives to Me... which is really quite a bit. I should also explain.. as Paladin well knows.. .that being of Celtic descent...I do sometimes deal with bits of depression... when I remind him, he says he knows.. and that it's part of what makes Me... well.... Me.

A friend said once, that perhaps if I skipped seeing Paladin sometime, then he would feel that 'neediness' that I feel now. But.. they also added, correctly.. that it would be perhaps more difficult for Me then for him. And... it would feel like a punishment to him.. and to Me.. and for no reason other then My wanting him to 'need' Me more. And that... is not fair to him. And.. I have to be.. well.. I don't 'have' to be.. but.. (smile) I NEED to be fair to him. Totally.

It's My responsibility to deal with My own feelings in regards to Paladin. He strives at all times above and beyond the 'call of duty'. Do I want him to be less then the strong independent man that he is? Not really. He readily admits that sometimes hes a 'bull in a china shop' in regards to understanding My feelings about things. Which is why it's up to Me to write them, or communicate those things to him, and as soon as I do, he will try to remedy it somehow.

At the end of the evening.. it was this exchange between us that calmed and reassured Me the most:

Paladin: just close your eyes and imagine yourself in my arms cuddled up close to me and looking into my eyes
Paladin: me kissing you on the forehead
Mystress: thank you.. that is very comforting pet..
Paladin: (smile)
Mystress: that is such a lovely mental picture pet....
Paladin : good to hear that Mystress

Today.. things are better. I am still craving control of Paladin, and know that tomorrow nite,
I'll get My chance.

I'd be interested in hearing if any of the other Dom/mes or their subs that have any or thoughts insight into this.

Best to all,

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The drops.

Tonight i learned from my Mystress what Dom Drop was. I had heard and read about sub drop. Its the feeling a sub feels after an intense session with his or her Master/Mistress and when they are apart...the sub feels down about not experiencing this intense connection anymore. Its temporary and often recedes when they are reunited but for the time apart...they feeling can be quite sad.

Well i had not read about it applying to the dom in the relationship but in hindsight why not...for i am sure him/her feels the intensity just as much and why can't they feel the down too. My Mystress said she was experiencing it some after our last very very very intense sessions and i was not aware of it. I apologize to my Mystress for not being aware of it and that she was experiencing it.

We had a very good chat about it and agreed that Mystress would be quite blunt about it if she was feeling the slightest bit of drop and in turn i would shower Mystress with more attention to lesson the affects....Again this is just goes to show that through our communication we can sort out anything and come to an arrangement that makes us both very happy.

Smiling knowing my Mystress is much happier after our chat....


Pride and Pleasure

Reading back through Paladin's post's the past several days has indeed, left Me feeling immense pride in him. Pride in his mind and his ability to communicate his thoughts and feelings so well.
I also have pride in him learning to take.... and especially to give.... so much more of himself then I am sure that he ever thought that he could - or would in the past.

Part of that is pulling back the curtain of his British reservedness and bearing his innermost thoughts and feelings. Not just to Me..but to you, our readers as well. Of all the things that I Command of him, I am sure this is one of the most difficult. Because of him being such an extraordinarily private person.

Early on he said he had no 'creative writing' abilities.. and I told him that he would simply have to learn then. And so it seems that he has.

I've been extremely busy the past couple of days, and have weekend company. So far, they are still sleeping while I've gotten up to post this, not wanting Paladin's voice to remain alone here for long.

Elle comments on the 'intensity' that seems to have taken Paladin to new heights. And I would have to agree. It has reached that for both of us I do believe. Each new adventure takes us both further along the path we explore together. The trust that he has had to expand each time has been vastly rewarding.

The last time I saw him, I warmed his backside pretty well. And yet, he was willing to ask for more because I wanted him to. But, there came a point, when I could not give him more.. and then.. would not. I do have a penchant for making him ask for more..begging for it.. and then when he thinks he is going to get it....denying it. I want him to always know.. that I am not a cruel Mystress.. and that while I do want him to have new, and sometimes even difficult experiences.... that I will not push him past a certain point, even if he asks. Well.. that is when it comes to pain. I may well push him far past that when it comes to arousal and begging either for or to give pleasure.

Paladin's training has been quite multi-dimensional I'd say. Past the kneeling and obedience and serving and ambiance he must provide to Me, to being My confidant, My friend, My lover and pleasure slave. To learning sign language, about being a Reiki Practitioner and running energy. And.. he has learned to do this not just for Me, but in front of select friends as well.

I have to admit, I have taken him to some pretty intense places...and will continue to. Both physically and emotionally. I am proud of all the things he does and thinks and is. Plus... he's just so dammed gorgeous in body, mind and heart and soul!

My wonderful amazing Paladin... of whom I am so very, very.. proud. I hope that all other Owners are as happy and thrilled with the evolution of theirs as well.

Wishing best to all,
Mystress, proud Owner of

Saturday, February 9, 2008


Now...such a little word..merely portraying a moment of time...but often the most powerful things come int he smallest package.

My Mystress has recently suggested to me that whenever i hear the word NOW from my Mystress it is to drive me to extreme a point of horniness far greater than i feel at any other time...and boy does it. To hear the word roll of my Mystress's tonge or to get a single word text, NOW, sends me to a new level. To a level of horniness not easily reached...yet my Mystress has the power to send me there with one little word.

Now there may be some that don't truly believe this...but i assure you...if you trust the person enough...and are open enough to their suggestion...then wonderful things do come from it...and anything is possible.

Still on edge from an earlier NOW....


Friday, February 8, 2008

My Mystress's Hunger

I am sure our guests have come picked through our readings that my Mystress loves to experience pleasure and large amounts of it. One can only express how lovely this is for a number of reason. The that i have a strong desire to please...and i derive such extreme enjoyment from it. I've often expressed to my Mystress that each time she do i share in her orgasm to much delight. So when my Mystress cries for more...i am so happy to oblige no longer how many hours my Mystress wants to writher in pleasure.

The second reason is that i love to be perfect at what i do...and the more my Mystress asks for the more i get to give pleasure to my Mystress thereby making the experience for my Mystress all the more intense. A side effect of this is it enhances our commnications...for both my Mystress and I ...i striving to enhance each others pleasures to the fullest...have communicated some secret desires we have both kept to ourselves...and because our bond is so stong...and our communication so open...we can open up to one another..sharing our inner most desires...allow each other to fullfill all our desires to the max.

I truly do love my Mystress hunger...and thate magical word



Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Mystress and her suggestions

Last night my Mystress took another step with my suggestions. Before Mystress has made some mental suggestions to ease my headaches when they come on or to be more open in general to my be more sensitive and express my emotions easier. I felt they were definitely very helpful.

Well last night Mystress made some more in particular i never thought would take hold. Ever since i can remember i have hate my belly button being played with...its always felt so incredibly weird to something was boring its way into my stomach...yes...that weird :).

Last night while in space...Mystress made the mental suggestion that when my belly button is touched from now shall no longer feel so uncomfortable...but in fact it will now feel like the total opposite...that it would feel very one was receiving a wonderful blow job...well...i stand proven wrong. Not only did it not feel truly did feel very enjoyable...maybe not like a blow job...but very enjoyable none the less.

It made me think and ponder...if something that was uncomfortable for me could be taken and changed into something so enjoyable...what else could be done by someone one trusted.

Have any of our readers ever experienced anything similar? I would be very curious to know as as Mystress had said...i was very skeptical and hesitant at first...but am now pleasantly suprised.



Evening to all our guests and especially to my dear sweet Mystress. I have been somewhat absent as of late but with very good reason..for the last days since Saturday i have seen my Mystress everyday and each day has been amazing.

Something happened during our last couple visits, a switch was flipped into super intense mode and our bond has grown stronger than ever before. I can't pin point the exact reason...for there were many many wonderful things said, done and felt these past few days bu they have all contributed to a wonderful shift in our something oh so so intense. Like our previous ascensions before...i am sure this will not be the only step into intensity MY Mystress and i take.

One new addition to our activities i must write about were the ear plugs...let me just say my Mystress definitely has some wicked thoughts at times and oh my were these one of the worst. As our readers know...Mystress and I like to practice some sensory exhiliration...that being either of us are tied up...and teased to immense heights by the other till we cry uncle :)

Every session of this sensory exhiliration has been very intense but wow...did the ear plugs trump them 10 fold. During our exhilirations, even though we can not see whats coming often has the ability to predict the others locations by sound. One can also tell more or less whats coming next by the sound the items make...a spur like metallic sound on the spiked wheel, the russlling of the whips strands, the sound of the lighter starting for the candle, the clanging ice in the cups or bowls...and so on and so on. But with the plugs...all warnings are removed. One lays there just Mystress said...resigned to ones to all the blind exhilirations...unable to brace at all for whats to come. This makes every little change in sensory feeling that more intense because it just happens...when one is most exposed and most vulnerable...unable to lesson the effect by bracing for the exhiliration.

Put yourself in the situation...your tied up, blind folded and can't hear a thing...not even when your Master/Mistress whispers in your ear...your just laying there...breathing heavily in anticipation..waiting waiting and waiting...then out of no where...out of the blue...two cubes of ice are pressed against the soles of your feet...or hot wax is dripped on your exposed nipple...or the crop strikes home or the whip cracks across your chest...a total suprise and totally unexpected.

All this adds to the intensity and before one knows it..your flying high in sub space...unable to control ones reactions to even the slightest touch...driven into extasy....totally amazing for sure. Mystress has expressed interest in trying the plugs too...and Mystress will know the true sensations.

Off i go now to chat with my share some wonderful conversations and to count down till tomorrow and another evening with my Mystress

With much intense love


An Experiment in Trance Commands

Well.. talk about a SUPER TUESDAY! It was certainly another amazing evening with My fantastic Paladin. Often when I have seen Paladin on a weekend I skip seeing him on a Tue so he gets some alone time. I offered that option to him, but he insisted that he still wanted to see Me.

One of the new things I have been working on with Paladin is hypnotizing him and giving him suggestions of greatly increased arousal. The results of this have been quite astounding. He now has two 'cue' words that drop him into a very deep hypnotic trance.

This takes a great amount of trust on his part for a couple of reasons. Firstly, he was resistant to it because in our earliest discussions about it, he was quite concerned about letting go of control to sink into this place, and secondly, having enough trust in Me to let be able to follow the Commands given to him in that state. We had talked about this early on, but at that time, he was some what resistant to it, so I had let it rest. A few weeks ago we are having a conversation about Me wishing that he could be trained to cum on Command. He felt that as a male, this was not something that was possible. I suggested that perhaps he could be trained to do it under hypnotism. Because he wanted to be able to do this for Me, he agreed to see if we could do this.

When he finally agreed to this, I promised that I would always have him remember everything I told him, and that I would only give him Commands that I would if he were awake. I have strictly abided by My promises to him.

So far, this has been working very well. Pet does indeed seem to be able to cum within a very short time of being Commanded to. Now I don't always like to use this, but it has been quite arousing to use it from time to time.

Last nite, it occurred to Me to try an interesting experiment with him. I previously posted about how sqiggy pet gets whenever his belly button is touched. Just My hand near it had been enough to have him get all uptight in anticipation of My touching him, and My finger actually there has given him great discomfort.

Last night, I put him into trance, and gave him a two part command in regards to this. The first part was that whenever I touched his sword necklace, he would beg Me to touch his belly button. The second part, was that now, instead of such great discomfort, he would find this incredibly arousing and beg for more and more of it.. It would feel to him as though I was giving him oral sex. I also Commanded him that when I touch his shoulders, he will beg Me to mark him ... and when I touch his nipples, he will beg and plead to kiss Me.. and the more I deny him, the more he will beg. Also touching his nipples will greatly magnify his sexual arousal by massive amounts. Each Command bumps up his arousal levels to new heights. I tell him that all of this is very pleasurable to Me, and makes him a better pleasure slave. On the count of three and a snap of My fingers and he awakes.

I am most curious about the belly button Command. I wonder, can this really work? Can this hypnotic Command overcome his intense squeamishness of when I touch his belly button?

One he is awake again, I touch his sword. He obediently begs Me to touch his belly button "Please touch my belly button my Mystress, please..". I grasp his wonderfully beautiful semi hard cock with one hand, and tentatively begin to circle his belly button with the other. Amazingly, his cock jumps and hardens and pet moans softly. "More Mystress, more, please, please!" then even more amazingly, his hand is on Myne, pushing My finger deeper into his belly button and he begins thrusting up against My finger. His head is thrown back and he writhes in ecstasy, thrusting more and more against My finger, his cock is now rock hard and jumping in My grasp. He begs for more and more. I touch him other places and he responds with the Commanded behaviors. "Mark me please Mystress, mark me..." and "May I kiss you, please my Mystress.. may I, please.. please?" Mmmm... I LOVE it when Paladin begs Me.... Again I touch his sword, again he begs, again I touch his belly button, again he writhes in pleasure. So fascinating to Me, but he takes it in stride so matter a factly.

The night passes in a haze of pleasure for us both... ramped up to new levels.

This morning, before we get up, I touch his belly button, I am curious to see if the effects of My Command are still present... he groans in pleasure. Mmmmmm....Smiles...

Just now, as I write this,(early this morning) I send him a txt 'touch your belly button and tell Me how it feels pet'

"feels yummy" he txts back.

As Spock would say - fascinating.

Best to all

Monday, February 4, 2008


Paladin does not have to do his blog tonight.. because My Knight ran out of gas on the far side of town in My car. And I was chatting with Paladin when he called Me. Dear, dear Paladin offered to come get Me and take Me to My knight to get him gas, even though the hour is late, and it takes him a half hour to get to Me.. and then another almost that to get to where My knight is. So it will be almost 2 hours for Paladin before he gets tucked back into bed.

This is.. so wonderful of him.. and I am so extraordinarily grateful to him.. such an amazing man he is!!!!

Just had to post this bit of wonderfulness...My Paladin to the rescue!!!!

Off to go wait for him by the door..

Best to all..

"100 percent more"

This was Paladin's reply to Me when I asked him how much more intense our session yesterday afternoon had been then our previous sessions.

What was it that made it so much more intense? Well.. to back up for a moment...

Paladin had had a very long and difficult work week. He is the lead in charge of a very broad and difficult project. He is the only one who knows how the whole thing works... so when another team accidentally deleted all of his teams work from Thur nite, he had to work not just late on Fri nite, but also on Sat morning till roughly noon. As I've said many times before.. as we both have.. Paladin having to be so much in control at work, is one reason that having Me take his control away is such a need to him. And.. I always know that any session we have after the end of the month, when this intense work time is, NEEDS to be a session where he is tightly restrained to the bed by his leather restraints, and not just self restrained. He NEEDS this to be reset. He NEEDS not to be able to think about anything but the sound of MY voice in his ear.. My touch arousing, teasing and yes, sometimes even hurting him some.

I had been thinking about something for a while, and after a conversation with My past Mistress, I decided that this would be the time to add one more element to his 'sensory exiliration' experience... past being blindfolded... past being tied... one more element of sensory deprivation. Yes dear readers... this time, on My way to his house on Sat morning, I stopped at the local drug store and picked up some extreme....

ear plugs.

(very wicked grin)

I don't think he really thought how this would effect him when I gave them to him to put into his ears on early Sunday afternoon before I slipped the blindfold down and then, tied it tightly into place. No amount of wiggling was going to dislodge it today. Then.. he was bound tightly by his restraints...and the special pillow vibrator slid under his ass. This is a wonderful little device I got at the dollar store.. It only works if there is pressure on it.. and he knows that he is to keep his ass down on the bed so that it keep vibrating. I can hear if he lifts up immediately. But today, he was so deep and limp from the start, he never once came up off of it as he has before.

I stood at the foot of the bed and called his name. No response. I called again. No response. Mmmmmmm.. now he can't hear.. any of the rustling.. cocking his head and trying to figure out which toy or device I am going to use on him next. He can't hear the sounds of the ice in the metal cup.. the sound of the lighter as I light the white candle. He can't hear when I come or go from the room, or what bag I am getting what out of. Nothing.. just.. silence. Cut off from the only remaining sense that he has gotten use to using when he is bound and blindfolded. I've always been able to see the wheels in his head working as he tries to hear and anticipate what it is that I am going to do to him next. Some sort of audioal warning of what I am going to do next.

I took the Wartenburg wheel.. and shook it next to his ear.. always something that he can't help but twitch from the sound of. No movement.. (wider wicked grin) He could not hear where I was in the room.. nothing. And.. the look on his face.. was resigned... and one of sinking into very, very deep sup space.

I used all manner of things upon his body. Alternating floggers, feathers, fluffers, a bunch of small sticks bound together, the crop, the spiky wheel, soft fuzzy things, ice on the souls of his feet.. rubbed the ice on his balls, his cock.. his nipples... and dripped ice water and wax across his body, and till his left nipple was completely covered with it, something I had never done before. Wax.. and then ice on it. And in addition to that..

A couple of months ago I had discovered a small metal cup in his kitchen cupboard when I was looking for something to hold the ice... mmmm.. metal conducts cold... and ice in this little cup... well.. it can be placed or slid or left on all manner of parts of his body.. and the cold will radiate from it. Horribly ingenious use for it if I do say so Myself. I'd say he dislikes the ice worst of anything. And when one is blindfolded and tied... it takes on chill of enormous proportions. I would drip the wax, and then run the icy metal across the drips.. freezing them. Later, I would slowly peel all of the wax droplets from his body, cooling it yet again with the metal cup so that it would come off easier. He trembled and writhed as I slowly peeled each drop of wax from his body. His nipple was very very sore, and he gasped as I peeled the large chunk of wax from it. It was a very long and drawn out experience for him.

We have a flogger made with several strands of metal beads. I don't like to beat him with his because I think it's just too much.. but.. I do soak it in the glass of ice water.. and then drag the beads between his toes and around his cock.. Mmmmm.. he always jumps and squirms around when I use this on him, and Sat was no exception.. except this time.. he could not heard the metal beads clinking in the glass. because no matter how quiet I try to be with them.. he most always heard them and hence, knows what's coming. Not this time. Took him totally by surprise.

One of the other things I did.. was that a couple of weeks ago I discovered that Paladin is extremely sensitive about anything going into his belly button. Says it feels like someone is "messing" with his guts. It's something I've come to love to teasing him with.. to make him bear it while I put My finger there. His first reaction is to want to brush My hand away. And of all things, this is one of the hardest challenges for him to obey letting Me do this without interfering when I Command him not to. And of course when he is tied.. then he can't remotely even try to resist. We have a small bullet vibrator, and ever since I discovered this about Paladin's belly button I had been thinking about the next time I tied him up....Can you guess? mmmm. . yes.. oh my, you ARE so smart our readers.. I did.. turned that little vibrator on and set it in his belly button. Something else he can usually hear when its turned on. but not this time.. he writhed and writhed around at that... and I left it there for just a bit. Certainly enough to really, really get to him. Thought he might just explode... or implode.

After more then an hour of alternating all manner of things all over his body, I pulled the comforter up over him and left him in his deep submissive haze while I went and emptied the dishwasher.. I came back several times to look in and make sure he was 'okay'.. to use the term loosely and do another thing or two, or three to him. I could tell each time that he was deeper and deeper.

Finally.. when I noted the time (we had plans to watch the superbowl pre-game show at 2ish) I released him from his ties...took off his blindfold... and then took the plugs out of his ears. At first.. he did not move at all. Not a twitch. I lay down very close to him and put My leg across his and held him very tightly. He was perfectly still... then...slowly, his body began to shake. His eyes were still closed. I held him, petted him.. whispered reassurances into his ear.. praising him and telling him how cherished he was. Then the shuddering grew more more and more intense.. and it was much longer then normal before his eyes blinked ever so slowly.... and his gaze was definitely unfocused to say the least. It took him a long long while to come back this time... and all the while I held him tightly.. telling him it was okay.. to take his time.. there was no hurry.. that he was safe and loved. Finally.. he slowly rolled over onto his side facing Me.. and pulled Me into his arms... and held Me so tight at first I thought I would crack.. and I held him right back. He was softly whispering his thanks in a breathless voice.. and again, I petted him and told him I knew how badly he had needed this, how necessary it was to his wellbeing for him to be 'reset' "just like the computer" I said.. and at that.. he chuckled softly and agreed.

One of the things I always notice, is how much calmer and more at peace Paladin is after this sort of experience. We lay together for a while longer while he slowly came back to himself.

Later, on the couch.. I asked him... how much more intense had My having given him the ear plugs to put in made the experience.

"100 percent more" He said smiling.

I shall direct Paladin to write his account of this so that you can all read it from his perspective.. however much he can.

Hmmm... well... I can tell that we'll certainly be including the earplugs from now on!!!

More on the weekend later,
Best to all as always,

Saturday, February 2, 2008

The Difficulty in Remembering Tasks When one is Zombie Tired

Let Me preface this by acknowledging that I totally understand that Paladin has had two very long and rough work days. As he posted last nite, it was a 14 hour day, and tonight was about the same. He did not get to have dinner with his friends as he usually does, but caught up with them later in the evening. I understand long and rough days.. and the fact that he also gets bad headaches. I do not like to put too much pressure on him when his day has been so rough.

However..... with that being said..

Technically he did not successfully complete THREE of his daily required tasks today.

Firstly... he totally forgot one task, his erotic thought of the day. I don't think it was even a blip on his radar. BONK!

Secondly, he worked very late, but none the less.. he did not send his after work pic until he got home tonight after having been out with his friends. He's done this occasionally before, and I've not called him on it. However.. that is NOT when it is supposed to be's supposed to be sent when he gets off work. That's why it's called an 'after work' pic. This is officially the end of that practice pet. BONK!

He referred to himself as a 'zombie' tonight on his way home from his night out with the guys,
and asked for grace for his blog. Which I granted. Because he asked for grace.. I'll give this a small 'bonk'. It does get one however, because he should schedule getting home in time to post just a few quick words. There are plenty of times when I know he is tired and I'll give him grace without asking. On Fri nites he says he doesn't want to disappoint his friends by leaving too early in the evening... well..that's all well and good.. but then he runs the certain risk of disappointing his Mystress.

He asked if I was 'upset' with him tonight. No.. not upset... not exactly. Just waiting.. to see.. what would happen.. and wonder for Myself, what the best way to handle this is. I did wait up to to see if he would come online to chat for a couple of minutes before sleeping..(he knows how much this means to Me, we've discussed it before. Even a few moments means a lot to Me) but he sent a good nite pic and went to bed.

All perfectly understandable and logical. But.. I also wonder.. where was the sense of 'sacrifice' that I have talked with him about before? His night out with his friends is important to him. And I know that I am seeing him tomorrow.. and I know that he has 'sacrificed' seeing the superbowl with his buddies in lieu of watching it with Me. And dammit.. I HATE being a hard ass with him. I'm not really cut out to be a nasty whip wielding sort of Mystress. But.. I am strong..and I have set down rules.. and I do expect them to be followed. I've had friends ask Me if having a slave such as Paladin is a lot of work. And.. the answer is yes.. and no. The 'no' far, far, far outweighs the 'yes' part.

The yes part... is keeping on top of his rules and requirements and tasks.... and keeping track of what he does and doesn't do. Yeah... that does take attention. But I love it.. and enjoy it.. and I'm very proud of him as well. But like his performing them is becoming routine, so is My keeping track of them. But I do pay attention like a hawk, and I take note of every discrepancy.

The 'no' part, is that I know that Paladin is a perfectionist.. He tries to be as 'self maintaining' as possible, and that make it pretty easy. And.. his wonderful success's make him amazingly rewarding to own.

I know that reading this will make him disappointed in himself. He hates being anything less then totally perfect

I am torn sometimes between being a very understanding softy to him.. knowing how hard he works for work.. and how hard he works to please Me in any and all ways. I know all of the above. And yet.. yet... I still want MORE. Not just more pleasure.. but I want to be as important for him to check in with before he goes to bed, as his seeing his buddies on a Fri nite. I've told him before.. a few moments is enough. I know I am high on his priorities in life.. and that his work is of vital importance.. and so are his family and friends. He tries very hard to please everyone. And he's very close to being pretty darn perfect most of the time to be sure.

As I've posted numerous times before.. I don't like punishing Paladin by hitting him. Normally just him knowing that I am disappointed in him is more then enough for him to beat himself up in a fairly substantial manner. And posting about that disappointment here where everyone can read about it.. well.. that makes it even worse. We are not about pain or humiliation, but service, pleasure and control.

And on that note.. I'll head off to bed Myself.. knowing that Paladin will read this in the morning.. and know that I while I was not upset.. I was.. disappointed. And.. I'll know that he'll strive to do better, and that's what I think is what most of us want from our slaves. Well.. that and total, prompt, unquestioning submission and obedience. (smile)

As All Ways,
Best to all,