Sunday, September 30, 2007
Mystress is off to visit a friend in hospital...her 2nd visit today. Again this only shows how caring Mystrss is and i wish her friend the best wishes and a quick recovery.
Mystress arrived looking as beautiful as ever. A wonderful embrace and some quiet hugging started our relaxation. We both agreed that today we would both spend the day relaxing and getting comfory in preparation for the week to come.
We had a wonderful quiet lunch as the restraunt was not busy at all. Mystress enjoyed some Salmon and i resorted to the backup chicken :). After lunch we were off to shop. The first stores did not have what Mystress wanted but she was informed of another store having a sale on the jeans she wanted...so we stopped there and picked up one on the way home.
It sounds like we both will have a hectic week again. This time the week shall go quick because of wonderful two weekends coming up.
Next weekend we attend a birthday party. We are both excited to go as it will allow us a medium to display how different our lifestyle is from the norm. Hopefully it will shed some light on our special kind of relationship. To attend this function Mystress put together my Paladins uniform. Black jeans, shoes and a flat dark gray dress shirt. It sounds like Mystress has some further accesorries that she has in transit. I have been assured i shall like them.
Mystress is looking very forward to this function. She has made a couple contacts that she would like to converse with and discuss some similar view points. It was suprising to her and I that others do seem to share our view of the relationsip and lifestyle. It will be interesting to hear how much we have in common.
The weekend after Mystress and I shall be in Monterey...We both have wonderful plans for that weekend but i shall not go into them yet...plenty of time to let them grow :)
We caught up on our missed Survivor from thursday while dinner cooked. I cheated and looked online who got booted but it was still good to see the program.
Mystress started her expansion of my horizons today. I was very nervous which i think Mystress could tell. I admit when i let myself relax alittle it was enjoyable but it shall take a few times to get comfrotable with it totally.
We had a wonderful dessert which Mystress brought before saying farewell for the evening. Now to wait for Thursday and our regular meeting. Thinking of the weekends to come.
Sleep well tonight Mystress and have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
He says I have some things planned,
and he is quite right.
I'll take him shopping for some things I
want him to wear to a special birthday outing
that we are attending next weekend.
It will be pet's and My first time out
as a D/s 'couple'.
It will be a private party
but I think we are both a bit nervous
I had been pondering what I wanted him to
wear, and then a few nights ago, I dreamt
about it, and what he wore in the dream
I think will be exactly what I want him to wear.
I had seen a Knights jerkin recently
in grey and black, colors that pet
looks very good in. So..
black jeans and grey dress shirt.
But pet has no black jeans..
so tomorrow I will get him some
and it will be fun to do something
so unusual as shopping with him.
The new things that we do are good for our bonding
as pet has mentioned in the past.
Then a nice lunch out somewhere,
will have to see what we are both in the mood for.
Once we are back at pet's home..
well... it can go anywhere from there!
Being with pet is in all ways thrilling though.
Being alone and intimate with pet..
He runs such incredibly sensual energy
and is very focused on giving pleasure
with devotion and passion.
He has come to know My ways very well
and his newest skills have only enhances
his ability to 'fly' Me for hours and hours..
After a short chat, pet has gone off to bed
so that he can be rested for tomorrow.
And now, I go again to join him,
with a special excitement knowing that
I will get to spend the next couple Sat nites
in his wonderful company.
Next week the party after which
I'll stay with him..
and the following weekend
pet takes Me to Monterey for
My birthday.. how much I am looking
forward to that!!!
To sit curled in pet's arms on the beach
will be heavenly.
We're both hoping it might rain.
And yes.. rain does affect Me the same way
it does My beloved pet.
So.. off I go to dream of tomorrow
and My amazing friend, lover, slave
Best to all,
I now finish up my errands...having a quick lunch...counting down the hours till tomorrow. Mystress has some shoping in mind and lunch out...wonderful ideas indeed.
Enjoy your day Mystress and sleep well knowing that tomorrow we shall be together again.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Mystress and i have plenty of things planned for rainy days asit is her and my favorite part of the seasons..the rainy days. Lets just say the activities center around an open window, a rainy day and a comfy bed and leave it at that.
Its late and i know Mystress is caring for a temporary guest...her generosity amazes me and her caring heart is astounding...but who wouldn't admire this of my Mystress.
I hope my Mystress has a good nights rest and a wonderful day of Reiki teachings tomorrow.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
As tired as he was after over 13 hours
of extremly stressful work
he sent a txt that he was finally
on his way home to
post to blog
pose and absolutely pass out.
This caused Me to call him
(as I was also driving home)
and give him the direction to
skip his blog
and simply rest.
He sounded soo very tired,
as he wished Me a good rest too.
I am sure the climb up his
long staircase was even more
Now..I hope he is slumbering
in deep and peaceful rest.
I go to join him..
and hope his day tomorrow
is not near as difficult
Sweet dreams to all.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
but it often has a curious way of backing up
pet is very dedicated to his work
and is currently heavily immersed
in production that appears to have many
difficulties tangled into it.
How he keeps it all straight is beyond Me,
but that is a part of his analytical brilliance.
We've had and always will have busy times.
Some more so then others.
We both have to be flexible with each
other when those times come to ride herd on us.
Alas... our special Thur time is compromised...
but.. so it goes. pet did graciously offer his
sacred friend day to Me.. but.. I know how much he
needs that time, and I have to be the example to
show him flexibility. So.. while a part of Me
would have loved to take him up on his
kind offer to spend the nite...
I felt it better to leave him to his friends
as per his usual schedule.
He also already has other commitments on
Sat, as do I... but, we both do desire to
see each other, so as pet wrote...
compromise and bending is in order for both of us.
Bending can make things stronger..
just like exercising a muscle.
I have to restrain Myself sometimes as well
and not expect nor demand too much of pet.
So.. we shall see how the weekend evolves for us,
and if things become too much for pet,
I'll give him the time and space he needs
But.. on another note...
Last nite.. was truly delicious.
Our dear and lovely lady friend was
unable to join us due to other circumstances,
but we did manage to convey to her how much
we missed her and look forward
to her return from distant places.
We laughed when she made a joke
about 'pets pleasure palace'...
which certainly fits!
pet, to his amazing benefit continues to
expand upon his new knowledge and
Although.. I began with him first..
and had him do an exercise
where he was not allowed to move
no matter what I did to him.
When I asked him what he was learning,
he said 'self restraint'... and I know that was
very true. I've had the same thing done to Me
and tis a very challenging one indeed!
I did not tease him overly long,
but enough to give him the experience.
The next step...
to be still
is even MORE difficult.
We shall see how pet does with that!
pet's pleasuring was exceptional last nite
and left both of us quite thrilled I think.
He had a wonderful desert of strawberries
and vanilla ice cream for us,
which we shared between pleasures by
We also had another
sub space chat.. which I think
is a good thing for us to have on a
I know that he needs to be in that space
and that I think he can learn to bend more
and be more submissive to more difficult things
when they are conveyed to him when
he is in that state of mind.
I shall have to ask him to post about it
so that we can all benefit from his
learning experiences therein.
I have also given him a new task
as far as devising new positions
based on qualities..
and will write more about that later.
His first one.. is to create a position
and series of motions and signs
that convey 'Adoration'...
We shall see what pet comes up with.
As I write this..
I know My precious pet is sleeping..
and the time has come for Me to go join him.
But.. as he writes.. so do I like to keep up with him
as best I can. And to remember those things
that happen between us so we can look
back on them together.
pet has said that this helps him a lot
to be able to read My thoughts and feelings on things
and it helps him to understand Me better.
pet's writings to Me are the same way...
I like to know what he is thinking
behind those gorgeous blue eyes
and sensual smile.
Best to all,
and good nite,
My evening tomorrow is in question and tomorrow is our normal evening together...but Mystress in all her wisdom showed that we can compromise...so we have rescheduled tomorrow for Sunday...a day i normally have to myself to do errands and such...but now it is for Mystress.
It was a solution to tomorrows dilema i didn't think of...and i am glad Mystress did...so now i countdown not to tomorrow but Sunday...and then i shall see my Mystress.
Off to do my poses...
Monday, September 24, 2007
Its Tuesday late and i have just gotten home from a long day...the thought of tomorrows visit kept me going through out the day...for i get to entertain Mystress and her Lady tomorrow. I am definitely looking forward to it as it gives me a break in the week...a time to relax and not think about work...and to grow closer with not only my Mystress but those she calls friends.
Off to eat now and most likely a chat with Mystress...i have turned the hourglass over and now wait for tomorrow evening.
and writing all that I asked of him.
Firstly.. his protocols.
He has written them all out quite well.
I think any who was looking to find a good
example of some to find, could certainly
read pet's post and have a full understanding
of all that he does. And he does them in a quite
extra-ordinary way as well. He has a very very
logical mind, and that is part of what I have tried to
take into accordance with him when I have devised
these for him.
As he says, there are some to be added at some future
time, along with him practicing more of some
of his positions. But for now, and for a while,
his list is extensive enough, and I have no
desire to overwhelm him in anyway.
As for asking for Grace..
Yes.. that is something he needs to do
when he knows in advance that he won't
be able to do a duty or assignment before
it arises. Tis a different matter altogether if
he simply forgets to do it.
And Grace does not mean he is exempt
from it, only that it tis delayed until he can do it.
Asking for Grace in advance makes pet
human, and shows him that no matter
how much he generally wants to do things,
sometimes, things do fall beyond our control.
He once said I gave him Grace before he had a
chance to ask for it. So.. I have followed his
guidance on this and left it to him to do.
I have also left off prompting him when
it appears a duty is coming up that he is forgetting.
I will however watch over him and protect
him as best I can in regards to his work mornings,
which his missing the alarm is few and far between.
We have both commented on the last visit,
and I look very forward to our one on Tue.
It is a piece I am very proud of.
Finding exactly the right one that fit
the elegance of pet was not an easy task.
There were many out there.
And.. having done jewelry work for
many years, finding and putting together
exactly the right pieces meant a lot to Me as well.
The final touches were added this past week,
and I am now finally, well satisfied with it.
It does have many meanings to Me,
and I hope to him. I am touched that it
brings him a peace when he wears it.
Wearing it is optional for him when I am
not present, but he must always have it on when I
am. I wanted the sterling silver of his sword
to match the sterling silver of the heart and bracelet
that he gave to Me.
It is fitting of the Paladin that he is.
Lastly.. I add thanks..
to pet's forbearing and patience with Me.
He says I am the 'best dom'.. but.. that is far from true.
For I try his patience sometimes, and confuse and
confound him at others.
I do not mean to, but sometimes I do have Myne
own challenges, and they can cause Me to be less then logical,
while pet on the other hand, is unerringly logical.
That is simply how we both are.
We can both be challenging to each other sometimes,
but, we do work hard to over come it through
compromise and communication.
This sort of relationship is not always easy,
but I do believe we are both strongly committed to
making it work.
Some folks say that there should be no compromises,
that the Domme sets the rules, and the sub follows them.
Well, perhaps that works for some, but in our case,
we are both learning. And I have to remember how much
more time and experience I have vs pet, and give him the
Grace to be himself within this, and give him the time
and space he needs as well.
Sacrifice is not easily come to, no matter how
it may sound as if it is. But..
that's why.. it tis..
for both of us.
wishing all well,
Sunday, September 23, 2007
My daily tasks have become a big part of my day and i look forward to doing all my tasks. They serve to reconnect me with my Mystress and to remind me that i need to do all my Mystress asks. Lately i have missed a few blog entries and i apologize to Mystress for this. Mystress has taken it into her own hands to correct this and my butt can attest to not wanting to miss them anymore.
My daily duties are as follows.
1. I must text Mystress three times a day. The first must be as soon as i am awake, the second at noon, and the last before i go to sleep.
2. I must text Mystress one erotic thought per day before dusk.
3. When i wake and before i got to sleep i must practice my positions. This includes 2 min in the Bracelet position, 2 min in my Kneeling Position and 2 min in "The Position".
4. I must make a daily blog entry.
5. I must tease myself and get as close to cresting without cresting twice a day.
6. I must send a picture of myself in the morning in my work clothes and in the evening in whatever i change into.
The protocols Mystress and I share have been created by Mystress and dictate how i must act in every situation. The protocols cover greetings, social interaction and attire. Each protocol is wonderful to follow as they have all been created by Mystress specifically for our union which makes them unique and so special. Others have grown quite interested in our protocols and those that have seen them in action are quite impressed.
Mystress hopes that by us sharing our protocols with others...and by this i mean performing the protocols infront of others...that we can show others that there is more than one way to experience the lifestyle...and that each couple can define their own set of protocols...customized to their own unique situation. The more Mystress adds and the more ours are customized...the happier we both get becuase we have truly made them unique to ourselves.
My protocols are as follows.
1. When greeting my Mystress i must assume my kneeling position and place my right hand over my heart as a sign of fealty. I must lower my head and address Mystress with "Pleasure to see you again Mystress". Greeting my Mystress is always done first.
2. When greeting others, i must assume my kneeling position, look at the individual, and address them with "Pleasure to see you". This protocol has been extended to include unique phrases for different people. When i greet my Mystress's firned i must say "Pleasure to meet you My Lady".
1. In a social situation i must always be as close to Mystress as possible showering her with affection and tenderness.
2. When Mystress is seated i must be seated to her left on the floor or if on a couch if told to.
3. I must always sit lower than Mystress, that is my head shall not be higher than hers.
4. I must be ready to offer my help if needed or requested. Mystress shall also offer it if needed.
These attire protocols are used both with my collar and without.
1. Greeting attire. This consists of me in a dress shirt...top two buttons unbuttoned, wrists unbuttoned, and nothing else.
2. Formal attire. This consists of me in a dress shirt, tie, slacks and dress shoes.
3. Semi Formal attire. This consists of the same attire as formal except no tie.
4. Dinner attire. This attire, or should i say lack there of, consists of me being naked.
5. Casual attire. This consis of me without a shirt and in whatever pants i may be in be it slacks or dress pants.
So one can see that my duties and protocols ahve increased some...and that i have adopted them with much pride and devotion. I definitely see my protocols and duties expanding in the future as our bond gets stronger. Hopefully they will also touch others...and show them there are many more ways to enjoy the lifestyle.
Asking for grace is difficult for me as i want to do all i can for Mystress and completing my tasks are one of the things i can do for Mystress. I guess i just feel that asking for grace is the easy way out...but...its better than the alternative.
This weekend i had an extremely busy Fri/Sat and my blog entries were missed...not because i didn't want to but because i got home so late i simply passed out. This is no excuse but its been pointed out that in situations like this it is better to ask for grace than to let them go unattended...for this atleast informs Mystress of why they were missed...and eases her mind.
With this in mind i shall rather ask for grace than allow a task to go uncompleted. I must thank Mystress for even allowing this option...i shall not abuse it.
Mystress had mentioned wanting to try an activity...so we planned to try it Thursday. I won't go into details but needless to say we both enjoyed it immensly and that i believe it shall become part of our times together. But it was not the activity itself that reinforced the bond...it was the communication around it...discussing it...discussing the reasons...expressing the desire to explore more together...and all this adds to reinforcing the bond between us.
Mystress being the best dom in the world took me into space...and the more ways Mystress learns to take me there...the more i control i give to her because i know simply react to the action and go to space.
This time while in space...Mystress whispered in my ear...she explained the S's of submission. How they make up submission...how i can trust her totally...as well as how she is in total control and that my obedience to her must be unconditional. I could not speak much during this bonding but i did listen and tried to take in as much as i could in my state.
We now have tentative date set for this coming Tuesday and our usual Thursday set for sure. I can now only wait patiently for these days to come...and chat with Mystress whenever we can.
To me its another display of my devotion to Mystress. Of my choice to give myself to her for protection and growth. I often wear it and each time i put it on i get a wonderful soothing sensation that flows over me. Why...because i know that Mystress has given me a wonderful gift...and that this gift is her symbol to me of our union...of our bond...of our commitment.
Mystress and I have a function in the near future which i shall wear my sword to...and show it off...because i am so proud to belong to Mystress...and i hope the others will see this.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Some eve's have more excitement to them then others,
and some bigger plans.
Last nite we had quieter plans.. a simpler,
more relaxed eve. I ended up being a bit later
then expected, although I did get time to grab
the Chinese food for our 'audience participation'
(although I am sure we ate much better then the survivors)
with Survivor China. Watching with pet was quite a bit of fun.
We were both wrong as to whom we thought would get booted off first.
It had been raining in the morning when I left,
so I was dressed for cold weather.
Hence, I had on leather boots when
I got to pets home.
After his kneel and putting on his
collar, I decided that this would be a good time
for him to learn about taking them off,
and he did an excellent job.
Then I had him serve up dinner and
We just had time to eat before the show started.
And for Me to get a bit of a lovely massage as well.
pet really does have wondeful hands!
After the show.. we took a lovely long bath together,
which we have both come to enjoy very much.
pet is not nearly so nervous shaving My legs as he was
before, and he has gotten his ambiance down much better as well.
Now, he has several candles which makes for a very nice atmosphere.
We take turns soaping and washing each other... with lots
of smiles and kisses..and a few chuckles as well.
At one point, I took his palms and blew hot energy into them,
and then pressed My thumbs into them..
pet falls into sub space now when I do this to him
as he has gotten very energy sensitive.
Also putting My thumb in the center of his forehead drops him into that
space as well and tis always rewarding to hear his soft gasps
when as arousal take him over when I do that.
I have to be careful to watch him as he will often slump
limply and I don't want him to hurt himself.
He also has very very strong reaction to energy
being directed into his nipples.. and he has something
akin to intense energy orgasm's just from that alone now.
I pet him gently and talk to him softly t
o bring him back slowly after I send him off on these
excursions into sub space, and its endearing to see his
eyes flicker and slowly focus as he comes back.
After the bath we take turns drying each other off as well..
this time, I made pet extend his hands out to touch either side
of the walls in the bathroom and close his eyes
as I dried him off..triggering him again by running the
energy through his nipples till it was hard for him stand.
Then I calmed him down again. Pet is sooo responsive
that he makes it irresistible to tease and arouse him.
pet and I had discussed wanting to try something
in our intimate interactions when I had been there on Tue
which we had never done before, and while I had had
it happen once or twice, never with him.
pet obviously did his homework because he was quite successful,
which doesn't surprise Me, because I think there is almost
nothing that pet can't do if he sets his mind to it.
It was quite an amazing experience, and pet's
voice was as usual inspirational, calming,
relaxing and encouraging to Me and his touch electrical.
pet had studied his..ummm technique,
and the evening was shall we say successfully wet for both of us.
So.. yet again.. pet has taught Me something else.
but I'd have to say, he has taught us both something.
pet seemed quite thrilled with his success as he had
quite a radiant smile and seemed self satisfied,
which he certainly deserved to be.
Then, as pet was going to do something else,
I decided to have a bit of a subspace chat
with him, and that is when I pin him into
sub space, and we.. well rather I talk to him.
It consists of My talking, and pet
saying "yes Mystress".
In this case, it had to do with him remembering
when our 'anniversary's' are.. of when he wrote,
when we met, and the first time we were intimate.
I have asked him to think of something special
to commorate those specific dates.
pet says he is not good with dates,
well, then this is a challange for him to do.
Tis important to Me... so it must needs be
important to him.
Our chat also had to do with the 's's of submission..
primary subject this nite, was
Sacrifice... as in a slave's self sacrifice
for their Owner.
I marked him with a S for every point
I made, till there were several red 's'each
upon the other on his chest.
And I hope he remembers..
Do you pet?
And what sacrafice's are you willing to make?
You live with your life very much controlled,
and exacting in how and what you do.
And My job, is to make you stretch
past your comfort zone and to
inspire you, to offer up more of yourself
each time, and to find that more comfortable.
pet was in quite a trance state, so it may
be a bit difficult for him to remember some
of what we spoke of, but I will remind him if needs be.
It was re-inforced with some pretty
hardy smacks on pet's upturned backside,
each one driving him deeper into subspace
as I emphasized My position on things.
He murmered that it was warm when I
asked him how it felt.
And good.. hopefully it drove the point home!
After that.. twas pets turn.. and then
a wee bit of cuddling before it was time
for Me to go again. I am trying to be
very careful to not keep pet up late
on work nites.
This time, pet asked if he could dress Me
as it was time for Me to go, which I found very
touching.. and provided more education for him.
He did a good job however, and we learned that we
get dressed differently.
It was nice to have him put Me back together.
Then with a hug and a kiss..
it was time to go.
And.. so went another interesting evening.
This morning... I was dreaming of pet..
and we were someplace where someone made a
comment about certain sort of profession... when I pointed out that
pet was one of those professions,
the person jokingly made the comment that
pet was not near dour enough to be one of those..
and that made us all laugh.
Twas then that I woke up
to the sound of pets picture arriving.
His laughter from the dream still
echoing in My ear.
And so, I sent My morning txt to pet,
having just awakened from him laughing
in My dreams.. which was very heart warming.
And so begins another day
in our unique castle keep!
Best to all,
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The first was grace from my blog last night. I fell asleep watching TV to wake quite late in an uncomfortable position...and when i asked Mystress for grace she granted it and for that i am so grateful.
The second was a wake up call this morning. The days at work have taken their toll on me and for some reason last night i slept like a log sleeping right through both alarms...but my Mystress being the smart intelligent and caring Mystress she is called and woke me up...allowing me to get to work in time...thank you Mystress...this meant alot to me.
Tonight my Mystress comes to visit again...we have a low key night planned tonight but Mystress can still expect pleasure...pleasure i love to give to Mystress. 5 Hours to go now...today goes quick and the wait is short...i just pray time slows when Mystress arrives.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
He is so cute the way he peeks around his door when he opens it,
certainly not wanting his neighbors to see him so scantily clad as
he is wearing nothing but his work shirt, smiling and welcoming Me.
He then turns, kneels and offers up his training collar.
Last nite was no exception.
I am still thrilled each time he does it.
Pet had sent Me a txt during the day
asking which I wanted, steak or shrimp..
I choose the steak.
Watching pet cook steaks for us was also very charming..
as was his serving dinner.
He always takes such good care of Me when I visit him,
and makes Me feel so special and pampered.
Sitting and talking after dinner about his recent
writing assignment, pet asked Me some very insightful questions
about My past experiences and how long it took Me to
stop analyzing Commands that My Owners had given
Me in the past.
This caused Me to reflect on it.
And within that reflection I explained to him
that I did all of My questioning before I accepted
My Owners collar's. Afterwards, I simply accepted.
It was not always easy by means, but... I by accepting
the collars, accepted Their Domination and Control over Me.
I suppose I am lucky in that I have chosen well, for there has never
been a time that I was given a Command that I felt endangered Me,
or was more then I felt I could do.
I have promised pet, that I would never do anything
to hurt, embarrass or endanger him or his work or
social circles in any way.
After, our talk, since it was going to be a while before the show came on,
I took him to the bedroom and blindfolded him and managed
to ramp him up with teasing, ice and wax. I finished him off
in a most unexpected way, but as I took his blindfold off,
his smile was radiant!
Then we got up, watched the finale, which I greatly
enjoyed with him, even though tis not something he watches,
he was very very sweet to endure it with Me.
Not only that.. but pet had gotten a favorite treat of Myne,
cheesecake, which we took turns sharing the two yummy pieces
while watching the show. Pet is very entertaining and enjoyable
to share something like that with. He makes Me laugh
with some of his comments about things, and it always feels
wonderful to laugh with pet.
After the show.. twas My turn to be teased by pet..
He led Me to the bedroom and kissed Me before dropping
the blindfold down over My eyes and binding Me to the bed.
From there.. with all of what he did was quite an amazing job.
He turned the tables on Me with the ice and wax
and something I couldn't quite figure out...
which later turned out to be yogurt!
He also used things on Me that I least expected
until he had quite turned Me into a quivering bowl of jelly.
And then.. he did some more.
Once again, I couldn't move when he took the blindfold off
and he gently rolled Me over into his arms and held
Me until I came back from the pleasure zone he had sent Me to.
Then.. he smiled kissed Me.. whispered into My
ear what he thought I needed next.....
and started again....
Our combined pleasure lasted till just before midnight
when we both tucked into bed,
set our phone alarms for morning
and murmured soft good nites to each other.
It was wonderful to fall asleep cuddled in pet's arms.
I awoke a few times, and it was so amazing to watch
pet sleep. He is always a beautiful man, but even more so
as he sleeps with the sweetest smile.
I awoke before dawn and waited patiently until 6:15
to awaken pet. I wanted some intimate time with him
before the alarm went off. He was very responsive
to My whisper in his sleeping ear that it was time to awaken
and give Mystress some morning pleasure.
This he did with great talent
and those amazing summer blue eyes sparkling
in the dawns morning light and that spectacularly
A few words about it..
I cherish his smile.. because he says
that tis not something that he does much of.
I would never know this, because he smiles so much at Me.
Knowing that this is something he doesn't do,
makes it so much more special to Me.
Each time I see it, I am aware of the uniqueness of
My position in pet's life, and the places that he lets Me into.
I so enjoy seeing pet, feeling pet and his responsivness..
We rose, showered.. and I got to watch
pet dress in his executive outfit for work,
enjoying watching him doing his tie in the mirror.
Afterwards, was coffee and yogurt again.
What a wonderful way to start the morning!
Afterwards off we went our separate ways.
Being with pet in the morning is enlightening,
and something I don't take for granted!
But I appreciate the insight that it gives Me
into pet's life, and his morning preparations.
And that makes Me feel even closer to him.
It makes Me feel very special, because I know
this is something that he does not share with
anyone else but Me... and hence.. I treasure this
time as the jewel of sacrifice that it is.
I tell pet, often, how much I appreciate
him, and the time that he gives Me.
I thank you pet..
from the bottom of My heart....
for all that you do,
and for all the gifts that you give Me
With ever abiding affection,
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
pet has done a excellent job. He carefully
and thoughtfully pointed out the similarities
and the differences between us, and I am sure twill
give us conversation for this evening's dinner
I make this short as I have some errands to do before
seeing him this eve.
But leave it to say, that his constant
vigilance and attentiveness to Me never goes
unnoticed, nor unappreciated, even in those
times, or especially in those times we are both so busy
that we have little time for extended visits.
All time spend with pet is precious..
and tonight will be no exception as he
share a season finale to a show he does not watch,
but has graciously agreed to join Me in watching
One of the things we both like,
is reality TV, so we watch a season finale
of Big Brother 8 ( My summer's 'guilty pleasure')
tonight, and then on Thur
we begin sharing the trials of Survivor China!
YIKES most would say.. well. indeed. perhaps..
but such things are fun to watch with others and
it tis one of the things we do both enjoy,
sharing dinner and a show together will be
fun I think,
Best to all out there,
Monday, September 17, 2007
Mystress asked me to write how we were both similar when it comes to how we act and obey our owners as well as how we are different. It was interesting to think about and to put into words...perhaps it shall be a topic of conversation at dinner tomorrow...we shall see.
Mystress is off to dinner with friends and i hope she has a great time...off to watch some footbal and relaxation.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Everyday i am amazed at my Mystress's thoughtfulness...her understanding...her ability to identify my needs and to allow me to fill them. This is so appreciated and i hope Mystress understands how much it truly is appreciated.
Now to countdown the days till Tues...to an extra visit from Mystress...a visit i already long for and can't wait to arrive.
Sleep well my Lady
Saturday, September 15, 2007
I am again filled with gratitude at his presence
in My life. I know so many other who started their
search so long before I began Myne.
There are those that quest for their
ultimate relationships, or even add ons to what
they currently have. How was it that Spirit brought
pet and I together when so many other still search?
Each time I think on it, I am filled with awe.
While pet and I do lots of communicating,
I have never felt past that first moment
that there was any doubt of the depths
of compatibility that we had the ability to go to.
Perhaps part of that is because we are also
both so unique to not just each other,
but to this particular 'style' of D/s that we dance.
Neither of us have been drawn to the darker sides,
both of us looking for something of a more
gentile side of it.
Being both so pleasure oriented
rather then pain has been a unifier for us as well.
pet knows that those times when I do have to
discipline him, that tis not My desire to have to do so
and that of all the things that come from owning him,
that is the hardest by far. I take no pleasure from it,
yet, I can and do and will do it to maintain My
unilateral Control and Domination over him,
and this, I have proved to him when I must.
When there is a point that must be made,
I can and do do it. But, that is a far cry
from relishing it. While I keep exact track of him
and his duties and his attention to them
much of that springs from Myne own experiences.
For as a slave Myself, I know each time I slip,
each fault I have and each task not completed on time.
And... when that tis not noted..... I note it Myself.
pet's tasks and duties are not more then
either of us can keep track of. I know how much
I look forward to the completion of them each day,
and on those rare occasions that they are not done,
I am well aware of them, even when pet might forget.
But then.. yet again.. I have had so much more training
then pet, so much more awareness then pet that tis
perhaps easier for Me to note it then him.
And to pet's benefit, he never is neglectful
because he is being resistive, but because
he truly gets busy, most often with work
or friends and the focus to Me slips aside
to those that he is present with.
However, this happens less and less
as time passes and those daily duties become
more and more ingrained in him.
And.. it all goes back to gratitude again.
How proud I am of all that he is and does.
How grateful I am to have him in My life
as MYNE. There is never a moment now
when I am not profoundly grateful to him
for accepting all that I ask, and he gives Me
back so much more.
Over and over again pet has taught Me
so many things, and shared so much with Me
that each day is certainly a new adventure.
And I see each moment that we share together
as the same.
pet says that he looks forward to expanding
his energy awareness, and I muchly look forward
to teaching him more and more.
pet has a natural slant to being a healer
and his hands when he runs the energy have a
strong power to them and his countenance takes
on a peaceful expression as his head bows and
he allows himself to become a conduit for the energy,
pet might be surprised to know that I count him
not just among the angels in My life,
but as one of the primary ones. The experience
with him from the other morning is still a very strong
presence for Me, and his sweet calm determination is
more then any other has ever done.
I thank him yet again, and look so very forward
to a nite when I do not have to leave him,
and a morning where we do not have to part.
Next weekend marks our 2nd month together,
which makes it very special to Me and I hope to
celebrate it with him in some special way.
I can only hope that pet will feel the same way.
Sweet dreams to you dear pet,
Waiting for my Mystress to finish dinner then we shall be having a conversation on the phone...i look forward to them as it allows me to hear my Mystress's soothing voice.
I go to wait patiently...waiting for my Mystress voice to fill my head and sooth me
As for the incident...i responded how i am hoping all Mystress's friends would...i just did what came to me and tried to comfort Mystress as best i could. Perhaps some of what i did to comfort Mystress was a little strange...i just hope that the methods lead to calming Mystress and putting her mind at peace.
Mystress needs to only know...that if it happens again...which i pray it doesn't for Mystress...Mystress shall receive the same response.
Be calm and forget your troubles Mystress..
Last nite was all that pet had promised.
It was fairly low key, and yet as always
it was truly delightful. pet had promised pleasure
and he certainly delivered it. The hours that he spent
focused on giving Me pleasure over and over were wonderful.
Again, sometimes the question is
how much to share and how much to keep
private. In this case... I want to try and communicate
something uniquely special in this encounter
I know that pet would not write about this..
but.. in My gratitude to him.. I feel that I need to.
On normal week nites with pet,
I try to be aware of time and
leaving at a fairly reasonable hour.
This was the first time that I found Myself so sleepy
that I actually drifted off for a bit. I think pet did too
because when I next became aware of him waking Me
it was after midnight. I was so very tired that I truly did not
feel like driving home.
pet was kind enough to agree
to let Me stay the night.
Knowing it was a work nite, I was determined
to not disturb his rest and while I awoke a few times
I finally did drop off, trying to sleep on the furthest edge
of the bed so that I would not awaken pet,
instead of cuddling with him as a I normally would have.
The background to what happens next is
something that is well known to those that know Me.
And that is.. that during My time in the military service
I was attacked, raped, beaten so I couldn't have kids.If not for a dearly loved roommate searching for
and finding Me, tis sure I would
have died from blood loss and cold.
I was told that I was not to talk about what had happened
and to just suck it up as I had made the mistake of going out with
the wrong person and it could cause a diplomatic incident.
About a year and a half, after this happened, other things happened
to lead me to belive that everything they had said was true.
So this story, is not connected to me at all, and has
never been told. The culprit
was not prosecuted because of his immunity due to his
country of origin while in the service.
There are times that I still have nightmares
about it. Normally they ensue if I get overly chilled while
sleeping, or sometimes if I am someplace I am not used to
sleeping or I am overly stressed or in some emotional upheaval.
Over the years I stifled it and tried to not talk too much. Some
rough details would be given, but because I was told to not talk about it,
I didn't. Not even my parents know about what happened.
I have tried to deal with it emotionally and mentally for the most part.
and there have been stretches of time where they do not happen.
Unfortunately, last nite.. was not one of them.
And I am sorry to pet for that..
for I gather I must have awoken him.
Where I was when he did.. was reliving the horror..
same old trauma, the attack, the pain, the beating
the dark. I was cold.. so cold..mostly.. that's what I feel.
I was in the midst of this, when I vaguely came awake in the dark to
pet holding Me. I think he was softly kissing Me.. I am not sure.
I could hear his voice murmuring to Me.. but I could not
tell what it was he was saying.
I was aware that he was trying to comfort Me,
but all I wanted to do was get away.. to curl up and escape.
I was still caught in the inbetweeness of it.. I think
I remember his saying something about looking at him.
and it was a struggle to do so. I know I was clenched tightly
and as usual, My hands were locked in tight fists
crossed protectively across My chest.
As I struggled to listen to his voice and become aware of
where I was.. a part of Me became aware that if I was with pet,
then I was safe. But.. the other part was still so strong and fresh
that as I managed to murmur to pet.. it was like both were
superimposed.. the past and present upon each other.
But pet.. was.. relentless.. I could feel him uncurling
My fists over and over..again..
his hands soothing Me... his voice, even though I could not
understand what he was saying was calming to Me.
And then.. as I came more and more to conscienceness,
I became aware of his gentle persistence moving towards Me.
I found Myself frozen and trying to pull away.. but he continued
to comfort Me with words and touch.. softly.. gently..
each time My fists curled and I fought him.. he slowly
uncurled them.. and each time I pulled back in terror..
I could feel his tenderness.. I fought to keep
My eyes focused upon him as he did, for when I closed them
the ugliness and pain was there. But.. he did not stop...
as the faintest light began to rise in the sky
he smiled wonderfully down at Me.. and would not
let Me withdraw.. with soft and soothing words and touches..
he slowly continued.. and at the moment of intimacy,
when I again tried to pull back.. he whispered softly to Me
and stroked Me...assuring Me of his heartfelt feelings.
I finally was able to fight the terror down
as he did not let Me run from him,
but with infinite tenderness, brought us together.
Now.. coming more to full consciousnesses
I was becoming more and more aware of what he was
doing.. and.. how his kindness and compassion warmed Me..
and the fear began to recede... and then.. something even
more magical began to happen.. as pet continued...
I felt what I had never felt since the attack had occurred..
and the nightmares had ensued.. and that was..
pleasure on the heels of the terror...
As the nightmare receded more and more,
pet's touch and words came more and more
into focus.. and.... well... pet being pet..
brought not just soothing.. but.. what he is
so amazingly good at.. and that.. is..
It was not easy for him I am sure.. and this was not a
quick process.. for it had been fully dark when pet
had awoken Me.. but.. as the tide changed..
I could see the dawn coming in through the window...
and pet's summer blue eyes smiling down at Me..
as he rained tender kisses upon Me.
And as the first light streaked across the sky,
so did pet banish the terror and pain from Me..
and replace it with a sense of peace and well being
that I have not had since that horrible night
all those years ago.
And in the morning light.. did we both
find joy with each other, yet again.
But this time.. there is a deep calmness..
where in the past, there has always been the
And so.. pet again.. had redefined himself with Me...
and taught Me something new.
For as I wrote him..
I have walked through this mentally
but never.. physically.
Never has anyone not just held and comforted Me,
but been so determined to turn it around,
been so consciously persistent
and to not allow Me to curl back into the ball of pain
that has come upon Me when I least expected it.
pet simply would not let Me do this..
and his overwhelming kindness.. and gentleness
and compassion... has done what decades of time
never did.. and that is.. to heal Me..
on the deepest physical level that there is..
and past that, and also to revive Me..
and out of that, bring back pleasure at a time
it has never existed before.
And so.. did we manage to unite
in the dawns morning light..
and I was able to give to pet
the pleasure he gave to Me.
pets alarm went off
and we rose together,
him hugging and kissing Me yet again..
and then we took a wonderful shower together,
coffee and yogurt with the normality of Good Morning America
in the background.
And then both of us dressed and ready,
we left to go our separate ways.
pet to his work,
Me to home and work.
And... that peacefulness is still there.
Things.. truly feel different today,
and unto tonight.
The hour is late.. and pet is sleeping..
I hope that he knows how much what
he has done means to Me, and how powerful
his healing has been to Me.
And so.. pet is not just My slave,
also.. My healer..
With depthless gratitude
Friday, September 14, 2007
Mystress and i have scheduled a lovely evening for Tues...not a regular night but a night we shall enjoy. Mystress shall be detained for hours Tues...in a manner some friends are familiar with...and hours of pleasure shall ensue...
Well off to complete the evning...have a wonderful eveing Mystress and enjoy the concert.