Monday, August 13, 2012

Thanks to Mystress

Evening All.

Wow what a busy 3 weeks. Although the visitors were fun and exciting, having new guests in our home was great, its even better to have the home all to ourselves for a change :) We even got to sleep in some on the weekend...8:30 wake up calls on the weekend surely isnt fun :)

This weekend we get back into the swing of things with our first party in a month. We are both looking forward very much to being with our new friends. As Mystress said, we were at the last munch and everyone looked and seemed to be very well. So spending much more time with them all will be great for us. Having to put what we have on hold for the vanilla folk sure isnt fun so it will be great to get back into it all. Seems Mystress has plans, /evil eye.....and i am sure she will fill you all in.

A very special thank you to my dear sweet Mystress for my wonderful new collar. Its a big upgrade to my everyday collar and makes for a wonderful dress collar for special occasions. The leather feels so good on ones neck and the width is wide enough to remind one constantly that one has a collar on. It s a good reminder that i belong to my dear Mystress even though every day i count my lucky stars for finding my dear Mystress.

A second big thank you Mystress for my wonderful bday gift. The gadget is super duper and i truly love it. Thank you so much. Each time i finger the screen and play with my gadget...i will always think of my dear sweet Mystress in the best of ways :)

With so much love for my dear Mystress


Summer Visitors Gone, Time to Catch Up!

 Paladin's new dress collar for our 5 year anniversary.
Hello friends far and near...

Been a long while since I've posted here, and some of this is re-posted from my Fet Life journal, as much of what I have to say here, is the same I said there.

So far, it's been a really great summer! The last of our visitors left back to their home country of Germany almost a week ago. It was great to have them visit and we got to see some places we hadn't been to before,, and got to show a few we had. Best part was NASA on Sunday, as they were getting ready for the Curiosity's landing on Mars. Wish we'd known as we woulda taken two cars that day to stay for the landing party, but it is all good. The husband S, stayed up with me watching the landing on NASA TV till around 2am. Paladin of course had to be up at 6:30am, and S's wife D had a headache and went to be early. It was fun and exciting, and a great new adventure in science!

We also did some Geo-caching which I had done some of in CA up at Sutters Mill, and enjoyed the people and the questing. So that was a blast, and S hid a few caches while he was here too. One on Galveston island, one at Lake Conroe, and a couple around this area. He also picked up something called a 'travel bug' in AZ that wanted to find its way back to Europe and a couple others that wanted to travel. He said he did 53 caches' while they were here in the states. I'll be going to visit them in 2014 and looking forward to doing some European Geo-caching too. He got some great and very unique souvenirs from it too! Funny, I didn't know they call non Geo-cacher's "muggles". Teeeeheeee! And on the Geo map, I was absolutely gobsmacked by how many caches there are around here!!!

My ex-Mistress, one of my bestest friends from CA was here for two weeks before the Germans arrived, (thanks again pedi4u for the great toesies!) and we had a blast too. Unfortunately I had Paladin's lung crud and wasn't up to a trip to San Antonio... next time! But we did make it to Galveston and saw the musical "Biggest Little Whorehouse in Tx". We both enjoyed it quite a bit.

While she was here, we had our fifth anniversary of Paladin's collaring, and he really liked his new dress collar a lot. And he had gotten me a lovely silver bracelet with a heart lock and it's key on it.. I hold the key to his heart he says. Yummmm.
I did get a unexpected shock on a Sat two weeks ago. Paladin comes in with an envelope for me from the VA. Looks like a ..... check????    Yup... it says "For VA Compensation and Disability". No letter.. but a nice bit of a chunk of back pay. So, on Mon, I drive to Houston VA Admin after my MST group at the VA Center to check it out. Turns out... the VA has decided that yup, I'm at least 70% nuts. And while it's small pension, and not enough to live on, at least now i do have something of a monthly income again! Which since my flip out with my barking, growling and poking client in Jan wherein I almost abandoned him in a movie theater and my 22 year career at that work ended suddenly, I've had zero income and dearest Paladin has been fully supporting me. I never wanted that situation, but there was no other option that I could see until the VA made up it's mind. And while is he is the 'slave', he does get to overrule me when it comes to my mental and physical well being, as he is also my 'protector and Paladin' as well as pleasure slave extraordinaire. HA!!! but now, I am finally able to do a few things to help him, and show appreciation to my dear friends here some. He still won't let me pay any household bills, but I can pay my own car insurance and a couple other things. And he can't keep me from stocking up at at Costco! HA again! And I hired a gardener so that pet doesn't have to be out there sweating and mowing our corner lot when he could be relaxing and swimming. It's not much but it makes me feel much better to be able to do a few small things to make his life easier. He's done soooo much for me.... (wipes tears of appreciation away)

It was good timing for me too, because I felt much better being able to pay for some groceries and a few other things myself while our visitors were here and buy a few souvenirs and meals.

And... as my friend Joan, also a survivor of military sexual trauma said, it is a validation of the hell I was put through for four years. I had sent her a txt the day the check came and asked her if that was normal. She said yes, the check always comes first, then they send you info about it. So far, the letter about it still hasn't come. But I'd rather have the $$ and be waiting for a letter, then have the letter and be waiting on the $$ for sure!!!

I finally got to see a VA doc up at Conroe (thanks to DaddyQball for telling me abut going up there and avoiding the Houston VA madhouse, the VA is soooo slow it took 5 months), a nice lady named Dr. Y. And she says that she thinks due to the physical trauma I am still suffering from (busted left jaw, loss of teeth on left side, loss of hearing in my left ear, crushed trachea and being beaten so i couldn't have kids) are things that they still need to recompense me for. The disability award now is just for the PTSD. So she is sending me to some specialists to get it in writing so I can submit that to increase the amount of disability I am getting. I thought what I was getting was good, but she felt very strongly that it isn't. She and my counselors have also told me to file for SS disability as well, especially since the 70% isn't near enough to live on.

Last Mon, I got to meet our new Vet Center counselor. I'd been very anxious about it as my friend Ani had a TERRIBLE doc at her Vet Center in her state. I've been blessed to have two wonderful ones so far. But the new doc seems nice enough so far. All the 'Ladies of the Group' were and to some degree still are withholding judgment to see how she does running the group as our current counselor was still there too. In our group, or in our lives... getting someone new to have to re-explain the horrors we survived is never easy. We HATE having to start over and tell new people about it all over yet again.

Paladin will be going on a trip back to CA for several days at the beginning of Sept and I guess I get to rattle around here alone for a while. Well, me and my critters anyways. Its kinda scary for me in that i still have the nightmares sometimes and him being near always calms me down a lot. At least I am not feeling suicidal anymore, so I am pretty sure I can be alone now and be okay.
The doc wants to put me on Zoloft and Wellbutrin, but I don't want to do that while Paladin is gone, and not sure I want to do it at all. I hate taking chemical drugs if I can help it. I'll just stick to my Normal Medicine for the time being as that is what was recommended by both my VA docs in Calf, and it's been keeping me relatively stable this long. Both my docs here agree, but like all VA's, they can't prescribe it. PPPfffffttttt!!!!!!

So that's pretty much the catch up.  We did go to the SAF munch last Thur, and it was great to see all our friends we hadn't seen for a month.  And this coming Sat, is the SAF play party. Weeeeee!  Paladin is going up on the St. Anderews cross if we can get time on it.  He's had a few demerits building up (including supposing to have posted here yesterday) and I've had a few requests to see him get flogged.  The ladies here say there are lots of female subs for the men to ogle, but not much male 'eye candy' for the ladies, and Paladin is considered to be some pretty good eye candy. I told him to be sure he picks out some nice undies, cuz he IS going up on that cross!!!  I've got two new floggers that need a good workout....

Hugs and good wishes to all..
Mystress Swan