Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The busy week

Tis indeed been a very busy week for us both.
Between Paladin's working late every nite,
My work and time at the hospital every nite it's been hectic.

pet is very right... I believe we are both looking very
forward to our time on Fri nite.
As I said earlier to him, it seems as though
this week has been longer then usual. He says that
he understands... and that there will be much 'reward'
on Fri nite.

I am truly hoping that pet can get off work early,
because that would be quite wonderful.
Also like him.. I am looking very forward to
some intense bonding with pet.
The last time we were together was the beginning
of a new side of pet.. and that was for a fairly
short evening. So this will be our first nite
together since then.

There is also something else..
something about pet's home that
will be different as well, a different mindset,
and I am curious to see how he handles it.

For.. this will be your chance to set the tone pet
in the way that you are most comfortable in.
So, we shall see what Fri brings,
to us both.

The hour is late,
and I am tired...
and tis again,
time to join pet in sleep.

As always,
best to all,

Big Friday Plans

It seems this week has been a very tough week for both Mystress and I. Mystress has had some rough days at work and I have been working many long hours. All this hard work has lead to an extremely strong desire for Friday to arrive for both my Mystress and I.

Even though the time between visits is the usual plus a day...the difficult week has made the desire to be with one another all the stronger. This Friday will be a wonderful time of bonding...i just feel it.

Mystress is off Friday and i shall do what i can to get off early so that we can spend as much time as possible together for we both need to recharge one another in each others company.

Mystress has informed me that i should rest up for there will be no rest this Friday for we both plan to enjoy each others company till we pass out. Something i am looking forward too...falling asleep with Mystress in my arms is very soothing.

Big kisses and LOVE to my Mystress


Tuesday, October 30, 2007

To Sleep and recharge

My days are long and very busy the last few days and most liely the next few to come. I get home relax some and chat with my Mystress...something that recharges me greatly.

Mystress and I chat online for sometime before Mystress calls me lying on my bed...her sweet voice in my ear...instantly recharging my low energy levels. Its a wonderful thing to go to sleep with Mystress's voice in my eat as it allows me to dream of anticipate the Friday to come.

Kisses to My Mystress


Monday, October 29, 2007

Reflections on pet's words...

pet should know how much I appreciate his dedication.
We do communicate back and forth during the day
via text messaging.. hence I knew that he was having a
very long day. His work is at a cyclical stressful point
and I am pleased that even so, he is able to write from
his heart as well as he does. And he is very right,
I do love to read his words... again, they always give
Me insight into him and things I may not know.

As far as our shared mantras.....
pet devised his own...
as I also did... and again he is right,
we do share our words back and forth.
One our greatest strengths is our communications.
For we know we can both say whatever we need to
and each will always listen to the other.

I get to make the decisions,
but, I always give weight to pets
wants, needs and desires.

As for pets comments about breaking the mold..
and.. pouring him into a new one..
well... that is something he has been asking Me to do,
to mold him into what I most desire to have in a sub.
And.. that is exactly what I plan to do,
a step at a time.

I like to give pet time to get comfortable
with each step before taking the next one.
And yet, I like to have the next one planned,
and to give him the next step to reach for.

Even as I write this.. and pet sleeps..
his next steps have begun.
For he has his next assignment to work on.
A new stretching of himself.. and a new way of
thinking about his environment.

As that calmness comes from his submission
that he speaks of so often,
so shall it fall upon him in his domicile now.
And the expansion of his submissiveness expands
yet.... again.

Welcome to the Castle pet...
may it bring you peace..
and.. joy.


Late days yet tasks done with happiness.

Today i got home just on 8pm...a long day at work and quite intense to say the least. The first thing i had to do when i got home beacuse of the happiness it brings me is to change, send my pic to Mystress and hop on to say Hi to my Mystress. Following this i just had to do my posts. Why with such urgency...because i desire to do it. Because it brings me much pleasure and in turn brings my Mystress pleasure. I know my Mystress loves to read my words.

When i get such a wonderful response to my Mantra from Mystress out of her joy of the heart fills with joy...for it truly makes me feel like we have a wonderful bond between us that only gets stronger with each exchange of words.

The meaning and feelings Mystress explained behind her Mantra was truly heart warming. When i first got the response i lost my breath...out of pure amazement. It was truly truly wonderful to get sucha response and to now know about the deep meaning behind each part of it makes it even more special.

Thank you Mystress for such a wonderful gift...i shall cherish it forever.


Breaking the mold

The last week has seen many walls come down. Mystress has finally found a way to pull down my walls, walls build up over many many years. Not just by my choice but by my environment.

For many years i have chosen to be very private due some painful not relive them it was very easy for me to build up a very solid wall of defense with a very very very small door. Well Mystress seems to have found the key and not only opened the door but is now breaking down the walls.

The second resaon for my walls is the culture where i grew up. We were taught to not really be open with emotions. To keep what we felt to ourselves and to rely on others to pickup on our meanings and feelings without having to say it. For the most part it seemed to have worked...but i guess there were flaws in this reasoning. For if the walls were thick enough it would suffocate all the feelings trying to escape making it impossible to derive any form of emotion for oneself. Well Mystress has taught me a valuable lesson regarding this...and that is..."When in Rome, do as the Romans do." By That i mean if one is surrounded with those that share their feelings and do it openly to show how they feel about one another, then I should do the same.

It was a slow lesson learnt but a lesson learnt non the less. Combined with the walls being torn down and living the life of a Roman, i hope that i can evolve and share my true feelings with those around me. No longer do i see myself in the cultural mold protected by high walls...but more being poured into a new mold of openess and expression.


For My part...

Today when pet sent Me his lunch time mantra today,

"I am your Paladin,
and i bid my obedience and submission to you,
my Mystress, guardian of my heart."

I found Myself compelled to send him back an answer:

"I am your Mystress, and you are My Paladin.
I accept the gift of your submission & your obedience.
I vow to guard & protect your heart with all of Myne"

As pet wrote about his mantra..
so will I write about Myne.

The first line is a clear fact between us..
he is My collared slave.. and I am his Mystress

Next... his submission IS a gift..
for tis not something that anyone can take
or demand from anyone else.
As for his obedience... well..
pet is much taller and stronger the I..
so I could not enforce his obedience if he did
not desire to give that as well.
I know that I am the only person on the planet that
pet trusts to this degree.
When he kneels, when he submits.. and when he obeys....
this is so much more then with most others for as described in My previous post,
pet comes from a culture much different from Myne own..
and this compounds and complicates his submission and obedience.
He is breaking out of his own private introversion
and personality quirks in addition to those of his culture
that he grew up in and is deeply steeped in.

As for pet's heart.... yes.. I AM the guardian of that as well.
This is something else that he has entrusted Me with...
and of the three things.. this is the most fragile and
also the most treasured to Me.
For many can submit and obey and yet,
never give their heart. I am
ferocious in My protection of My pet's heart.

Opening up his heart and trusting Me has been very
difficult for loved in the past.. and was deeply hurt.
For him to be able to give his heart.. and his love.. is again,
I believe, compounded by both his past pain, and his culture.
I want pet to be fully assured that I will protect and guard his heart
so that he is able to open it more and more like the precious
flower that it is to Me. Other's want their slaves to endure pain
or humiliation for them.. I want Myne to be able to love freely
and safely and to know that he is loved and protected in return.
For this allows us to explore all of the other aspects that we
both desire to experience together. Much of what we both
want are things that are difficult for us both,
and so we must both be able to trust each other
implicitly to go to the depths that we want and need to.

So I WILL guard and protect it,
and I consider it My sworn duty to do so.

pet has bared so much of himself to Me
and in doing so, he has stepped into a very scary place.
For some subs, taking pain or humiliation is their
greatest difficulty and test... but from My perspective,,
for pet to open his heart.. and declare it is HIS
greatest difficulty and test.

He must be able to know He is safe.
I know that for him..
with his walls shattered, and hence his long practiced
defenses bared... that it is like one's skin being
peeled away and leaving only raw nerves exposed.

But... but... as My pet loves Me..
so do I love that which is Myne.
And he IS safe within the sanctuary of that.
Hence... My vow to protect his heart
with Myne own. Hence, I will be the new skin
that wraps, protects and shields him from
all the pain that such rawness could expose him to.
I will be his shield.. and the wall that cushions and protects him
from everything outside that might harm him.

When I sent My answer back to pet his afternoon,
he wrote back that it was truly lovely.
(smile) Well... it does accurately reflect how I felt
about pet and his mantra.

I read pet very well,
the sentences, as well as between the lines.

I realize how difficult each step of pet's evolution
has been and at the same time, I have enormous pride
in him for taking the chance and the risk of subjugating
himself to My Control and Commands.

So as pet gives himself to Me,
so do I give Myself unto him..
and together... we weave a tapestry
that is ever flowing and evolving.

He sleeps now as I write this,
and soon will be time for Me to join him
in the realm of sleep.

I again thank persephone and her Owner's
and her wonderful blog
for giving such inspiration to Paladin and I.

As always,
Best to all,

Saturday, October 27, 2007

A Tender Review

This past week has been a week of lessons and growth. The lessons have been difficult to learn at times but now in hindsight...a wonderful lesson to learn.

Mystress sent me a private email mid week with a tone and language quite unlike Mystress. It was very very serious and forboding. The email started off with Mystress explaining the situation in detail without holding anything back. Mystress laid it out what she wanted and how things were to change. after reading it at first I was hurt that i had failed my Mystress in such a way. I realized that by being who i was i was hurting my not expressing my feelings openly to Mystress...regardless of who was watching...i was hurting my Mystress.

The first lesson i learnt was to be more expressive with my share my feelings of love and submission with her regardless of who was watching. That i should be proud of my love for Mystress and not reserved. I lesson i shall practice now in earnist.

The exercise in Mystress's email...where i had to picture myself without my restraints and collars was unpleasant. This leads to my second much i have come to relish my gifts from Mystress. They all have served with great impact to reinforce my submissive bond with Mystress. They all serve to reinfoce my submissive bond...expecially when Mystress tugs on them and moves me with them.

Overall the email Mystress sent and the conversatins in depth we had on Thursday served to bring new light to the situation. It showed that i was reserved and not totally forth coming with all my feelings and that i should be more open with them. I should express them more for Mystress...infront of her friends so that i can show how much Mystress means to me just like Mystress shows how much i mean to her. Lessons i shall practice each and everyday from hence on.

A very pleasant addition to our union is my Mantra...thank you again to our new visitors that brought it to our attention. Currently with a revision from Mystress it is as follows.

"I am your Paladin, and i bid my obediance and submission to you, my Mystress, guardian of my heart."

There was so much i wanted to put in mine that it would take forever to chant to my Mystress. So i settled on those that are most important to me and the others can be deduced from these. My obediance and submission are two big aspects as these are what i have given and promised to Mystress. They are directly related to me giving up control. Mystress also knows that for me to give up my control, obediance, and submission to her implys a tremendous amount fo trust. Trust i have put solely in Mystress and no one else before. Guardian of my heart sums up both my love for Mystress and the dual role of protectors we both fill. I protect Mystress and in return Mystress protects me. It also is a reference to me giving my heart and love to Mystrss for safe keeping, again something i have only truly trusted to do with Mystress. Mystress modified the start to indicate that i am her Paladin and only her Paladin. A modification i welcomed as it is more our Mantra than mine and i repeat it with my joy.

Part of sharing my mantra with Mystress is that i must send it to Mystress each day at lunch and in doing so each recital makes the meanings stronger. My mantra must also be recited each time i pose for Mystress in one of our positions and again each time i greet my Mystress.

So in conclusion and summation...Mystress goal of shaking me up some and bringing some short comings to light has worked and that i shall from hence one work to express my feelings fully. That i shall try and keep my shields down and to not rebuild any walls Mystress has so thoughtfully pulled down...for it is Mystress's duty to mold me to the sub she desires.


Friday, October 26, 2007

Tearing down the walls...

pet culturally comes from something much akin to a
'proper English background' to a large
degree, and as he explained at length last nite, this entails
keeping social circles isolated from each other.
And while his family expresses their feelings for each other,
they stay distant from others they do not know.

Unlike us Americans, and especially most Californians
(who tend to be a friendly, easy going and publicly affectionate lot)
his countrymen are much more reserved and not
inclined to speak with those they do not know.
pet described himself as working to overcome
'many years of introversion' in one of his private letters to Me.
I have noted several times over the past months that pet's 'shields'
go up when in public.

This was most noticeable at our first dinner outing.
Being that I am very energy aware and sensitive, it was
at first rather shocking to Me, to feel such withdrawal from
someone who had been openly friendly and warm to Me before.
I was taken aback by it, and it took some probing to find that
he was uncomfortable with expressing himself in a affectionate and
relaxed mode in public. As I have mentioned before,
he has told Me that he is not known for smiling..
and that this seems so very odd to Me.. for pet is
always smiling at Me.. so to picture him not smiling
is only evident to Me on occasion when he is serious looking
in his morning dress pictures before work.
pet does have a very 'formal' nature sometimes.

I referred to it as his 'shields going up'.. and they were very
palpable to Me. The first time he walked Me down to the car,
he immediately became very stiff and withdrawn and while I hugged
him good by, he did not return the hug. Hmmmmmmm....

So I have been patient.. and given him time..
I have waited for him to feel more comfortable with Me.
It has sometimes been like he is two different people..
the one in private who laughs, smiles and is very warm and affectionate..
and the remote, distant and almost aloof one in public who
withdraws his hand from a touch.

I had thought all along.. that this was simply pet's way of being,
and again.. have tried to be patient these three months
for him to realize that I am a safe person who will not hurt
nor humiliate him. I have waited patiently for him to 'warm up'.

I have tried not to push him too much,
but there does come a time when those damn shields
are just inappropriate with the situation!
And.. that led to Me writing to pet...
(of which he will elaborate tomorrow).

However.. what I would communicate.. is that during our
conversation last nite... I came to realize for the first time,
that this is NOT just a matter of pet being pet... but
of the actual culture that he grew up in in his own country,
which is very very different from our culture.
He explained how his family would stay tightly in their
own click (on vacation for instance) and would never ever
speak to people who were not a part of their family or group.

That is indeed very different from Myne own experiences..
for My family has always been easy going Californians
who would pretty much chat with anyone. I remember well
the years of travelling and camping and My folks inviting those
from the next campsite over for a drink or such. Never mattered
where we were, oh who they were, be it any of the western states,
Canada or Mexico, they always found a way to meet
and communicate with others.

So the enlightenment from pet about his own
family and countrymen was just that.. enlightening.
It was another of those 'Ah Ha!' moments.

For several reasons, the time had finally come to deal with this..
pet is not familiar with Pink Floyd's album The Wall..
but tearing down his wall
is how I had come to view what needed to be done..
as it seemed that My dear pet was caught behind some
highly built emotional blockages... or... walls.

as the the song goes..(in part, and edited for the
sake of the effect I had in mind in regards to pet)

"The crown will plainly show
The prisoner who now stands before you
Was caught red-handed showing feelings.
Showing feelings of an almost human nature;
This will not do!

"Since, my friend, you have revealed your
Deepest fear,
I sentence you to be exposed before Your peers.
Tear down the wall!"

And that.. is what I finally intended to do!
If pet could not do it for himself..
and he wanted Me... then
he would have to find a way to reach past
himself.. and
I would have to help him..

In hindsight..
I was unaware of how culturally oriented pets
wall was, so at the time,
I could only guess that this was what he was going
to prefer in a relationship, something more distant then
what I wanted in the relationship.
Where I was very open with My feelings,
pet was much more withdrawn and had gone so
far as to express his uncomfortableness with My own
expression of feelings in the past.

As Mystress.. I get to say what I want and how I want.
I also get to demand that My slave respond in the way
that I want him to. I realized that pet was a very very private
person.. he has told Me this innumerable times. Yet..
how much do we let a slave remain steadfast to that which is
an anathema the their Owner's ways???
Isn't so much of this about learning, growth and
stretching.. and re-training??

And so..
After much consideration..
I wrote to pet.. a letter that was formulated to 'shake him up'.
and force him to consider himself, and Me.. and what he wanted.

I am gratified to say..
it worked.

And pet..
will get to say the rest..

But... I will say..
that last nite..
a fresh breeze blew
across the bricks that lay shattered
and strewn across the ground..
the wall.. now rubble....
and a very different pet.. knelt and greeted Me last nite
with an openness that he had never had before,
visible from every pore of him.

And.. this may have been one of pet's very very
hardest lessons.. and I am immensely pleased and proud
of the New and Improved pet... that exists now!

With much love and admiration for her pet,

Lessons Learnt

Another wonderful thursday flew by yesterday. Mystress may have something regarding the time warp for the evenings do fly by rather quickly.

We performed our usual special rituals but this time there was much conversation about the lessons learnt the last couple days...i shall go into more depth on this topic tomorrow when time is more available...but the short version is Mystress has taught me a new and very powerful lesson...that of expression. By Expression i mean expressing my full emotions, how how much i LOVE my Mystress and care for special she is to me. The lessons also included how i should become more publically declarative of my feelings for Mystress and that i should not hide them and express them only to Mystress. For this lesson i am truly thankful to Mystress...and i look forward to building on this lesson more in the future.

Thank you My Lady for the kind words and praise. As Mystress has is our pleasure to have you join us and spend time with us and we shall have to address the time warp issue with some longer visits in the future.

Welcome to the new guests of our blog. Your words are too appreciated. Adopting your concept of a mantra has truly been a wonderful addition. I hope that you enjoy the blog as much as Mystress and I enjoy posting.

Well back to the grind shortly...why do work days take so long and pleasure flies by so fast? I shall have to ponder that.


Twas My party.....

Tis been a busy couple of days, but now I get a chance to
catch up some.

It was a truly wonderful celebration.
pet had invited Lady and I for dinner.
So, it was that our Lovely Lady
and I arrived at pets in the early evening.

This began with something special...

For this was the first time that he knelt and recited his
new Mantra while holding his training collar for presentation.
He is not one for 'public declarations' and yet, he did it with
grace and aplomb.
It was very pleasing, and he said later that it enhances his
submission very strongly. He will write about it in the next
day or so.

For dinner, pet provided wonderful steaks,
and a hearty french bread with olive oil and vinegar,
music and candle light.
Lady brought some some delightful wine
and home made peanut butter and chocolate treats.
and I an Asian salad.

So the three of us enjoyed us a wonderful meal.
As pet states, we had much catching up to do
as Lady had been away for far tooo long from us.

The evening progressed after dinner with pet leading Me to the
bedroom, followed by our smiling Lady.

From there... it shall be said.. that there was much
pleasure shared all around and pet again, outdid himself
with the oh-so-lovely Lady holding My hands in
ways that was also very arousing while pet exercised his
amazing skills. She does have a wonderful
sense of that in regards to knowing how to hold Me....

She and pet also shared pleasure and it
was quite enjoyable to see (and hear)
them taking turns delighting each other.

Lady and I have decided that pet has a time warp in his bed
that makes it fly waaaay too fast!

The three of us are planning a trip to the cabin in the
middle of next month to give them both their level 2 Reiki training
and then.. of course.. some relaxing time later.

And so went the last of My celebrations,
ending My birthday season in a quite phenomenal way.
My sincere thanks to both pet and our Lady for
making it all quite memorable!

Hugs and soft smiles to both,

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

An Evening Of Enjoyment

Last night was once again a wonderful evening of conversation, good food and better company. It was great to share an evening with my Mystress and her friend. It gave us an opportunity to catch up, share some stories and more importantly to celebrate my Mystress's birthday one more time.

Part of the celebration was Mystress in the middle receiving pleasure from all sides. Mystress seemed to enjoy the attention immensly which made us all smile. Favors were returned for all and pleasure and enjoyment for all.

A special thanks to my Lady for her attentiveness towards me. My Lady's ethusiasm was noted and appreciated very deeply. My Mystress had not had enough pleasure for me to allow myself to finish but i thank you again for the wonderful was truly appreciated and i now owe you an equally ethusiastic return favor.

My Mystress is having a late night tonight with work and other engagements and i hope her day went smoothly knowing how busy Mystress was going to be today. The countdown has started till i see Mystress tomorrow...a regular meeting i so look forward to.


Monday, October 22, 2007


The evening wears is on and playing in the background...and i prepare my place for my two Ladys visiting tomorrow. Cleaning up some and getting things ready ...preparing for a wonderful evening.

We all have decidied that tomorrow shall be the last big celebration for Mystress's birthday and i will be great to catchup again.

Mystress definitely deserves some time in the middle of the pleasure sandwhich :).

I wait on a short break to chat with my Mystress..then back to chores..


Sunday, October 21, 2007

Precious Time

As is any time with pet precious.
This one seemed more then usual however
because it was the last of a string of magical Saturdays
that we will have together.

Sharing yesterday day and nite and this morning with Paladin
was as always.. truly wonderful.

Beginning with his smiling greeting, to the delightful
sports event that we shared.. him patiently answering
all of my questions about the new sport (new to Me)
and My truly immense enjoyment of the game.
I love learning new things, and pet is so knowledgeable
about this, that he is a well of delightful information!

After the game, a movie and then
some lovely intimate time.
pet was past... inspirational in it...
He managed to make ME blush quite a bit
in his.. endeavors. His pleasuring skills and imagination
grows with each time I see him... or.. well..
since I was blindfolded.. not.

Deciding that I wanted pet to have something to
feel while we were at dinner,
I decided to administer a nice warming spanking.
I took My time.. and pet was very lovely as he was
bent over his bed. It was a slow spanking,
a bit of warming.. some nice rubbing and a bit of
teasing.. and then some more spanks.
I was very proud of how pet took it all in stride.
Unlike some others, I did not spank him to hurt him,
but to warm him up and to have him bend his will
to Myne by taking all that I would give of him.
I wanted him to feel his submission while we ate.

Sooo, after pet's warm up..
it was off to a Japanese dinner
I personally love sushi and some sushimi..
like maguru and salmon..
pet however, prefers his cooked.
I was not a wicked Mystress
and I did not make him eat something that
he did not like, but I did have him taste the maguru..
but he wasn't very thrilled with the texture he said.
Interestingly enough, from a variety of choices
we did choose exactly the same sides.. yet another
showing of how alike we are.

After the wonderful dinner
it was time for our bath.
Always a wonderful experience with pet....
Slow and teasing... pet is very good at relaxing Me.

And after the bath.. well...
first pet sent Me into wonderful places..
and then it was My turn to give pet a new
experience. It was one he was quite unsure of,
but I do believe that he found it much more enjoyable
then he thought that he was.
I was very careful with how I did what I did..
and pet had to be very very submissive to relax and enjoy
himself in all this. It was quite pleasing to hear him making
small noises of enjoyment as I touched him in ways
he had never been touched before. Finding his own special place
and giving him the experience of unexpected pleasure.

And then..
It was My turn again...
and then.. it was time to cuddle and sleep.
I was aware of pet kissing Me from time to time
in the dark.. so very sweet.

And then... in the morning...
I have a particular way that I like pet
to wake Me in the morning.. and how I like
him to arouse Me.

This morning... he was quite
amazingly spectacular.
For some reason..perhaps because he is Myne..
I can communicate to him things about Myself that
I never have to anyone else, as well as all the things
that I have learned from others about Myself.
pet listened to everything that I whispered to him...

and used all of his skills to prove himself yet again,
as an extra-ordinary
pleasure slave.

Then.. our morning shower together..
a simple breakfast..
hugs and a kiss..
and I was off to visit Master in the hospital..
and pet to do errands and watch sports with friends.

So, another wonderful weekend passes..
and I look forward to seeing pet on
Tue with our dearest Lady friend for another

shared birthday dinner at pets.
I look forward to both of their company..
I have missed her very very much.. .
and it will be wonderful to have the three of us
together again!

As always.. best to all,

Lovely Weekend

Its Sunday night and another wonderful weekend has past...not because its a wekkend...but because Mystress spend the weekend with me.

The weekend consisted of some finger foods and pizza while we watched sports on TV to start...a low key beginning but none the less some very tender bonding time. After the sports Mystress wanted to share a movie...Heavy Metal...its a movie i had not seen and Mystress is quite fond of the one liners that have spawned from the movie. An interesting film and entertaining.

With some time to fill before was time spent sharing a wonderful bath...something we have grown quite fond of for sure. We spent sometime in the bath lounging about...talking...bathing each other...exploring some new horizons. All in all our bath time has become a wonderful time for bonding and shall only get more intense in time.

Pleasure time followed our bath as Mystress writhed in pleasure for hours. Mystress responded too well and even much more than Mystress was expecting :) but still a wonderful time and one i think about often.

For dinner Mystress treated us to some yummy suishi...Mystress being more daring than I..but still delicious never the less. Both of us were very eager to return we both had much pleasure on our minds. Returning home we retired for the night...pleasuring each other and cuddling closely...talking and chatting...sharing between the two of us. As the night wore on eventually we fell asleep in each others arms...eventually to rise to more please.

With a light Sunday breakfast...we were off to each do what we needed...Mystress to visit her friend in the to do some chores and off to a freinds for football.

Some may think the weekend mundane since the activities were mundane...but to Mystrss and I it was a wonderful time of bonding and growing closer.

Now i prepare to host my Mystrss and her Lady for dinner on Tues...something we have not done in sometime. My Lady believes its still in the birthday month for Mystress and that we shall have to spoil her one more night.

I am off to go sleep the hours away...till the next time i see Mystress.


Saturday, October 20, 2007

pets enlightments

As always, pets writes very well in those things I tell him to
write about.

The water kiss.
This has become an integral part of our interactions.
I find I enjoy it on many levels as well.
There is something as pet says, very sensual about it,
and depending on My level of consciousness depends on how strongly
I can take the water from him. Sometimes he has to
carefully trickle it into My mouth if I'm not able to
swallow very well, and other times, I like sucking from
his mouth more aggressively. The reason's for the kiss
did indeed evolve because intimacy with pet can be very..
well.. intense. Because we both use so much energy in
our interactions, it is much past the physical realms and
so the effect is at a much deeper level. pet has learned how
to affect Me in these very very intense ways, and as we call
it 'flying'.. and he has learned very well how to fly Me quite
high, and literally for hours on end

I manage to fly pet sometimes as well,
and hence, his own experience with the water kiss,
And I look forward to giving it to him more then once
after the sharing of much pleasure.

This is pet's primary mode of service to Me,
and My main reason for finding him in the first place,
so to be so stunned by his ability to provide pleasure
that I can't even lift a glass to drink, is a wonderful
accomplishment of his abilities that I hope he is proud of.

His other aspects, like learning to give up control,
to learn sign language and to communicate to Me in it,
to learn his kneeling positions and assume them at the
flick of a wrist or fingers,
the multitude of writing assignments both here and the more private
writing assignments I give him all all really secondary
to his duties as a pleasure slave. Tis all part of the
big picture of his duties of service to Me,
and things he is just learning that he needs and wants for himself..

One of the thing about pet's writing assignments
is how much of himself he reveals within them that he
does not in normal conversation. I find that I learn much
about him during both his posts to this blog, and his private
letters to Me.

The other things that pet wrote about,
is his newest project, which is his mantra.
I came across this idea from this fascinating blog:

I loved the idea of this and sent hers to pet
so he would have a frame of reference to understand
what it was that I was looking for. pet has communicated
in private emails to Me that he loves the idea of this as well,
and has mentioned some of the other aspects of his
mantra that he wishes to include in his.

I found many things in common in this blog with how
the devotion and feelings that the owners have for their slave,
and how I feel about Myne.
I have no qualms about the strength of affection and feelings that
I feel for pet, and tis something desired by all those in Myne
own circle that we both feel the same way about each other

Last nite, pet recited to Me what he has as his 'working'
mantra so far.
And then of course.. Me being Me..
I told him that in time, he'll have to be able
to communicate the whole thing to Me in
sign language... he says that will take
a while, and as its something that he's still working
on, that is understandable.... for a while.
But I do expect it to be quite lovely to watch
him sign his mantra to Me.

Just as pet will have 'a while' to develop the signs
that he wants to use to convey the qualities that he
has been assigned to.

And.. speaking of sign...
last nite... I asked pet to sign something to Me..
and..after a thinking for a short moment,
he smiled very sweetly at Me..
and then he managed to spell sign (meaning using his
fingers to spell with the signing alphabet ) a wonderful
but short sentence that I will always remember as
the first time that he ever spoke with his fingers.
Twas enough to make Me smile and kiss him very deeply.
Thank you pet for that magical moment!

I'll add a short note that today is 3 months since
pet first wrote Me.. it has been quite an amazing time
and I look forward to celebrating some with pet

Now.. the hour is getting late,
and I am seeing pet in the morning,
and so must be well rested.

Best wishes to all,

Lovely as usual.

Each time Mystress posts her words still amaze me and put me in elegant, thoughtful and full of emotion. I truly hope others are able to really feel my Mystress's words for they are truly wonderful.

The hour is late now...which is good for it means i shall see my Mystress once again sooner than later. We have a wonderful day/evening planned and i so look forward to i told Mystress..."I wait in heightened anticipation".

As i said...the hour is very late...funny thing is everyone at my apartment complex is awake...i even got a "Happy Friday" from someone...quite strange i thought.

Well i go to rest for pass the hours as fast as possible...till i see my of my heart.


Thursday, October 18, 2007

Enlightening Others

Mystress has asked me to share a few things with those that visit our blog.

The first is our water kiss...whats a water kiss you ask...well at times Mystress is shall we say...recovering and without the energy to drink herself...Mystress still needs to get her we discovered a method for Mystress to get her water. It involves me sipping some water...then in a slow and sensual manner...transfering it from me to my Mystress..thereby getting Mystress her water. Its a wonderful bonding experience and Mystress has given me water kiss one time too...something i rember fondly.

The second is my mantra...Mystress has done some reading and research and Mystress has come across a subs mantra. This is something a dom would have his or her sub say either in private or amongst others. Well i have worked on it for a day and have sort of a working mantra...i shall share evolve it further in time as i have some more aspects i want to include...currently it is "I my obedience and submission to of my heart." I hope Mystress likes it and i shall evolve it with her guidance.

Off to sleep now as the hour is late...thank you Mystress for a wonderful visit tonight...


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Mystress's Understandings

Well it seems Mystress understands more about me than i thought. I am a private person so sharing private stuff is difficult for me and although i have shared much with Mystress its always been in a somewhat guarded mode...careful to not share too much...yet this it would seem was in vain since it seems Mystress's intuition and ability to read between the lines is outstanding.

My ship is very tight..wait tha sounds ship is run in a very orderly manner...and as Mystress has indicated by a very strict schedule. Why? Well i have always kept my social groups seperate yet they are all important to to give them all a fair share of my time i have always spent time with them all to the best of my ability and to do this i have always used a schedule...

Mystress has shown and taught me that a strict schedule...even a very very strict one...can bend...that for my Mystress that it must bend...that she is special and the exception to all my rules.

This includes giving up is something i will never do for others...but for Mystress...i shall turn my control over without question. I hope that as time passes i can become the slave Mystress truly desires...i hope Mystress will take the time to mold me how she wishes...and that the journey is enjoyable for us both.


Understanding pet

Reading pets explanation of the hows and whys of his
submission to Me does clarify things to Me greatly.

As I had first began to get to know pet,
I had no idea of how tightly controlled his life was.
The more I did begin to understand it, the
more surprised I was at his desire to submit.
We have had conversations about his intense
privacy and how careful he is with those in his life
both privately and professionally.
He lives his life like a very tight ship,
each rope neatly coiled
and always arriving at the dock at
exactly the precise moment it is supposed to.

He runs his life on a very narrow schedule
and stretching and being more flexible with this
has been perhaps one of the hardest things for pet to adjust to.
I do not know if he has yet realized that
this is precisely why I try to stretch and try to change
some of his schedules, because this is an area
of giving up control that has been hardest for him.
hmmm.. seems I am giving up some of My
own secrets to pet now aye?

But... I most certainly do understand his need
to relinquish control of himself to someone that
he trusts. I know from Myne own experience
that there is something amazingly soothing
about giving it all up to someone else.
To NOT have to make decisions and choices
and I begin to understand this aspect to pet
more and more as time goes by.

There are times when I ask him what it is that
he wants or desires, and he always defers to My
wants and or needs. I used to think this was just his
obedience to My Dominion over him,
but I have recently come to realize that this too is part of
what he wants and needs for himself. That because he does
make so many other choices and decisions, that within our
relationship I believe that he is relieved to some degree to
NOT have to choose what to do.

Most of the time I don't give him these choices of course,
but there are times when I do.
Unlike some other Owners, I am not much of a
'hard ass'. I can be.. and there are times I can be
down right bitchy in what I want from him
and petulant when I don't get My way.
And I will force him to answer Me even when he
is not so inclined. That is a part of what he must accept
in belonging to Me.

He is very good at knowing who and what he is.
That he is MY slave.. and that he is Paladin.

There are times I stretch him more then others
and sometimes I am very light with him.
Because pet is so new to all of this, I have
desired to bring him along slowly and carefully,
wanting to build trust with him. He needs to know that
I won't ever hurt him (too much)
or humiliate him, as that is NOT My style.

I do demand hours and hours of service from him
and those he does with total cooperation and obedience.

I had a Dom ask Me about being resistant today..
He asked Me that if that was what He wanted,
should I as a sub then comply with that desire?
As a sub, that was never My style. I could do it if
Commanded to, but it always felt terribly wrong and
unnatural to Me. I have never been bratty as a sub,
although admittedly, I have sulked in the past,
although Master was very firm that I was NOT
allowed to whine or sulk.. and that pretty much
put an end to that sort of behavior.

Early on, there were times when I would get a bit of that
from pet.. when he did not understand nor necessarily
desire to do something I was Commanding him to do
his tone would get very curt and his text messages
would drop down to the minimal words necessary
to answer Me. And because I am so energy sensitive,
I could always tell when I had crossed a line he did not
want Me to, or asked something of him he was uncomfortable with,
or was being especially illogical.
(Which I can be frequently as I am much more emotionally
oriented them pet is.)

He did not learn the lessons of sacrifice very well at first.
And I was insistently stubborn about wanting him to
learn to be. He still wanted his life on his terms.
Well, I am willing to grant him that.. but only so much.
And the things that I find that make him uncomfortable
are the very things that I will push him to do just for the
sake of keeping him out of control.
He did not learn this very quickly.. that if he simply
co-operated and gave into what I wanted,
then the lesson would be over and he would in essence
(to some degree) get things to be the way he wanted
within his time frame.
I must say however that he has done a much better job in
latter weeks however in dealing with the fact that I am
not a totally logical person and when I am not,
I don't feel as much distance from him anymore
and I think that he is beginning to accept that as his chosen
Owner, he has to accept Me as I am as well,
faults, foibles and all.

There were certainly distinct differences in the sort of
submissives we both were for a while,
but that gap has narrowed substantially, and for one so new
pet has grown in his obedience by leaps and bounds.
He seems to be growing more comfortable with it as well
and I hope that this will be something that he will become
more and more accepting of himself with at time passes
and he realizes that he can trust Me more and more as well.

Pet has taken everything that I have thrown
at him in his stride in recent weeks and done so
with grace and obedience. He has compromised himself
for Me, and that has been something that I hope he knows
how much I do appreciate.

When pet is bound, I see it as great strength
not remotely as weakness. It takes a stronger
person to give themselves up then one to fight it
or to deny that side of themselves.

I can only hope that pet will in time
become more and more comfortable with his
choice and less and less self conscience about it.
But.. I expect like all things, this will also take time.

In summation.. I can only feel very very lucky that
pet found Me.. and that he feels safe and comfortable with Me
and that we shall continue to evolve and grow together.

The hour is now very very late on
My last nite of vacation
so off to to bed I go.
Looking forward to Thur
and then to Sat.

I hope pet is sleeping well
as I post this...

Best to all,

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Explanation for Mystress Confusion.

Mystrss has wondered out aloud on a number of occasions how she is slightly confused as to why i have made the choice to submit to her control...that knowing how in control of my life I am...that i control every aspect of it with military discipline...that i would relinquish my control to another.

The answer is simple...being in control of myself and to a large degree others around me...i know what its like to be in control...but i have always yearned to feel what the other side is like...but not just with had to be with someone special...someone i could trust...and open up to and share such a special thing with. Having spent many many years searching for the right one...i am extremely fortunate to have found Mystress...the right one.

When i put my collar on and submit to Mystress...a immense calm comes over me...i immediately know that i am no longer in control...that Mystress...the one i trust is now in control...and that she in her wisdom will guide us on a wonderful path of discovery and growth that we both will share and grow together. By doing this i experience the other side...trusting another and growing to care for her because of how caring she is when i do submit to her.

Other feelings run through my mind at other times too...when i bow to Mystress it refinforces my choice to submit to turn over control. When i am amazes me that i allow myself to be in this position...some would say weakness...but to me its a sign of my ultimate sacrifice of control to another..the special other that i would only do this with. Wearing clothing, learning signs and positions, protocol and methods of pleasure all serve to make the experience complete.

At first all this was very dificult for me...i would question and analyze each order...but as i have learnt to trust my Mystress...the orders have become easier...those we do in private i do without hesitation...those we do in public still have some analysis but that is rapidly evaporating...for it is my goal to make them as automatic as the ones in private are. This comes with the ever growing trust i have in Mystress...proven by the exploration of new horizons.

How would i explain my choice to others...I have pondered that some and have not been able to formulate an answer as of yet...I would simply explain that its my choice...a choice i did not make lightly...but i choice i now rejoice in making...only because of Mystress being the right match and the special one i have looked for years.

I hope this has shed some light on your confusion Mystress...if you require more clarification i would be happy to give it to you.

With love and kisses


The Wonder-Filled Weekend

Truly pet wrote of it very well. And it was
an amazing time, from the moment that he picked
Me up, till he returned Me safe and sound.

The drive with pet was lovely...
and very relaxing to be in the passenger seat
while pet so competently drove us exactly where
we were going and I didn't have to even navigate at all!

All aspects to being with pet are enjoyable,
even just grabbing fast food on the road.
I liked watching him order and seeing what he likes
to eat and learning even the most simple things about him.
Having such a nice long drive gave us the chance to talk a lot
and also the chance for Me to ask him more questions, and learn
more about him.

Arriving, my long time Friend did make us both
quite comfortable. He had been very curious to meet pet
being quite amazed that I had the inclination to 'Dom' anyone
having only known Me as a submissive.
My Friend is also very very energy aware, and when
pet and I started out with our energy breathing and bonding
exercises, it struck Him quite strongly and He said He
was basking in the energy that the two of us create.
Friend loves to watch..and pet performed
most amazingly. Friend said it was like watching
an artist, and he is very right, for I have watched pet
in action before, and of course, I know how it feels to
be on the receiving side of pet's touch and energy.
And it was very hard for Me to come back as well.
The ice and wax in particular sent Me very far off
and while I could hear pet, I could not respond to him
for quite a while. But, finally I became aware
of being released, and pet holding Me.

After I had come back.. and we all spoke for a bit,
then it was time for rest. But at some point
in the evening I asked pet what aroused him
the most in the ways of beingtouched and stroked.
And as he explained to Me,
I practiced it. I seem to have learned it well,
for in the early morning light,
while Friend was soon gasping and begging softly
for release. After a while.. I granted it.

As pet wrote... it was an enjoyable evening all around
and My Friend said later to Me that after meeting pet
He could see the whys and hows' of how I feel about him.
He was more then slightly impressed with him,
finding him as remarkable as I do.

After the very nice evening and morning
and breakfast and then seeing My Friend off
we drove over to the beach.

Certainly one of My favorite parts of the weekend was
sitting on the bench with pet just a few feet from the ocean.
The sun was warm, the breezes blowing, birds flying
and pet's eyes matching the color of the clear blue skys.
It was so... odd.. to not being going or doing for a change.
Just.. being with him. Each bit of time with pet only
serves to re-affirm all that has gone before.

pet then treated Me to a most wonderful Birthday dinner..
oh so yummy grilled seafood... looking out at the water,
touching his hand, which is still a bit of a stretch for him
as he is not one for open displays of affection in public.
But every moment was delightful and special!

Back at our room, all to ourselves now..
it was pet's turn to be bound and teased..
and asking him what arouses him, and learning
those new 'skill's... that let him to the edge,
for I would not let him ground out his arousal
to make it last longer as he has gotten so good at doing.
Dripping ice and wax upon him.. and watching him writhe
knowing intimately what he was feeling, having just felt it
the nite before. Stretching him more and more....
feeling him approaching the edges.. how far would I take him?

And then.. freeing him from his restraints..
and seeing him laying there.. so far away...
rolling him over to hold him.. no movement..
not even the flicker of an eye lash...
this strong man... laid into deep submission...
by Me. How odd one part of Me thinks...
As I have said before.. he is so in control
of his life in all other aspects that are not in regard to Me,
and yet.. somehow.. he chooses to bend his will to Myne,
and chooses to let Me Command him and he subjugates
much of himself to Me. Why????

Finally....slowly.. he comes back.. and his arms
tighten around Me.. and slowly his eyes blink..
and come into focus. Still.. he trembles..
I have done much to him, and he has taken it all
in his stride, but I can feel the shocks still rocking his

In time.. he comes back from afar, and softly whispers
"thank you Mystress"....

He has been so wonderful and obedient..
and the time has come for his pleasure,
after which we fall asleep curled together.
At some time in the dark,
I feel his arms again, and his touch...
and we move together..
and then again.. we sleep.

And awaken.. and move together yet again..
and rise to shower and head for home.

The drive back is faster then the drive out,
and as all good things must come to an end,
so has this weekend. Pet yawns several times
and I feel a bit guilty about keeping him awake so much,
but he says not to, that it was all well worth it and that
he has enjoyed it very much.

With a final hug and kiss,
pet leaves to attend to his life.

With great gratitude I watch him go
and look forward to whatever the future
holds for us.

Looking ever forward to more...

Monday, October 15, 2007

Heaven Revisted

Well a day later and i still think about our wonderful weekend non stop. Friday went so slow waiting and waiting for Friday evening...waiting for the moment... the second ...i could pickup Mystress and whisk her off to Monterey.

From the moment Mystress settled into the seat...the trip started off on a wonderful step. We took a relatively slow drive down...chatting, stopping for dinner and discussing the weekend head. Both of us expressing a high level of anticipation since we had been looking forward to it for so long. We made good time arriving in Monterey shortly after 9:30pm.

Arriving at our lodging for the weekend presented us with our first task... meeting our host. Mystress expressed that she was nervous..i was not sure why...but i tried to comfort Mystress as best i could. Gathering our stuff...we headed up to the room.

From the moment the door opened i think both our anticipation and nervousness disappeared. There was an atmosphere of comfort and easiness already present and we both slipped right into it. Mystress's knight was very welcoming putting me at ease immediately and i think Mystress too. We relaxed some, shared some drinks and prepared the room adding our own personal touch namely our blanket, candles and music. Conversations ensued and we all settled in to both get comfrotable with each other and to learn some more about each other. Mystress knight is a very pleasant person and his presence was very easy to adjust too.

After some pleasant conversation and relaxation we moved onto our second desired task. That being the sensory exhiliration of Mystress. We relaxed together comforting each other on the bed...then Mystress was tied to the bed..kissed deeply...and blindfolded.

Those that have seen or spoken to Mystress about the exhiliration know what was done...needless to say Mystress was writhing in pleasure. Mystress's knight joined in occasionally and very much enjoyed the show...he once said he felt like a kid in the candy store which made us both smile happily being able to share something as special as our exhiliration with another. The evening stretched on hour after hour...each filled with pleasure for all...different for each but pleasureable for all.

On Saturday we had a wonderful breakfast chatting with Mystress knight...i kpet quiet mostly allowing mystress to catchup with her knight. After our late breakfast...we bid farewell to Mystress knight as he had a very long journey ahead of him....once agin thank you sir for providing the accomodation...we hope you had a good time.

We squirreled the afternoon hours away sitting on a bench, cuddled in each others arms, with the waves crashing on the rocks mere feet from us...a magical scene anyone would agree with. We revisited the night before...recounting what it meant to each of us and how we admiration and love abound. Before dinner we walked the pier on Monterey looking at the shops, doing the tourist thing and again sharing the mundane with one another...something we both find very comfroting and enjoyable.

For Mystress's birthday dinner we had to have scallops so we found a seafood retraunt on the pier and settled in for a lovely dinner. Ordering identical meals, it showed more of our similarities. The lovely view from the restraunt window and the oh so lovely company made dinner a very memorable experience...walking hand in hand we stopped and snagged some taffy then retired for the evening.

Saturday night was once again full of pleasure for both with very little sleep for both. The loss of sleep was so worth the time with Mystress. Every time Mystress receives pleasure its so worth the sacrifice. Mystress herself experienced what it feels like to learn a new method for giving pleasure and how special it feels to oneself to deliver such pleasure. Mystress learnt a new method to pleasure me and with this lesson a sense of what it feels to me to give the pleasure i do was experienced by Mystress.

It opened a wonderful line of conversation and mutual communication and expressing what feels the best and how to do something...with the express goal of heightening each others pleasure...will be a goal for each of us in the future. We figure the more ways we learn to pleasure each other, the more intimate we become and in doing so the more together we grow. A lesson we both hope to relive many times in the future.

Sunday saw us ready to return home. We had a great breakfast again then started our journey home. On the way home we both expressed a sense of mutual thanks and praise to each other for a wonderful weekend.

With chores and errands still looming ahead of me i unfortunately could not spend the evening with Mystress but had to run off and get them done. Through out the chores i relived the weekend, and what a wonderful weekend it was. The Lessons and bonding i myself experienced will forever be with me and i hope Mystress feels the same.

I go now to once again relive the weekend...counting the days till Thursday and seeing Mystress again.

Have a wonderful birthday evening Mystress.