Realizing My Power

Means that I AM the Mystress..
This also means not being quite so confused
and figuring out where I am going
and where I am taking us both.

Being in control of the rudder
also means that I am the boss
and I get to do what I want,
when and how I want,
and his job,
is to obey.
I mean.. that is the very point of being
a Mystress, isn't it? I'll answer Myself and say
a resounding YES!

Paladin chose Me to be the one to turn his
control over to, and to Command him.
When I am not doing that, I am not doing him
any favors, anymore then the parent who lets
their child do anything they want with no restraints.
Henceforth, tis only so good to leave him to
be the strong one in those short times that I am not.
And towards that, I have to be responsible for
both of us.

As I have been new to this, and as he has been as well,
I have been careful of his wants, needs and feelings.
I have tried to bring him along slowly.

Today...
My own Turning Point has arrived.

Today, I have called and told him
that I am coming to see him,
whether he likes it or not,
and that he must be ready to perform
any and all things that I want of him,
and do them very well.
Eagerly, happily, no pouting or resentment.

I've always consulted with him
as to his schedule, feelings etc.
But.. not today.

I wanted to see him tonight
and gave him more then enough hints,
but he was reluctant to give up his time.
HUMPH... too damn bad.
(wicked grin)
I think that he will find that
He would have done better to
give it up of his own accord,
to invite Me to come see him as I wanted him to.

In his last posting, he wrote
how his home is now My second home,
and I have much appreciation for that,
and tonight, I plan on taking advantage of it.

Perhaps this is what he was hoping for,
Methinks it's what he's needed,
what we both need.
He said early on that he wanted a Mystress
who knew what it was that She needed, and would
Command it of him, and one who wanted 'more'.

So, I am taking some choices away from him
and putting him in his place, on his knees
at My feet, where he belongs.

As I've said many times, hes a strong man,
and used to running his life his way.
We've gone round and round about somethings
as I have tried to be polite and not too demanding.
Well...that's only gotten Me frustrated.
And that is not MY place to be in all this.

The internet is an interesting place..
full of useful information.
And blueprints of other Dom/mes
and slaves.
I have been reading.. and learning...
and while I love Paladin dearly,
and I know that he loves Me..
this is STILL a power exchange
and time for Me to take control and
choice away from him to a large degree
and not let him dictate so much anymore.

I'm not a mean person by any means,
nor have I ever been a hard ass.
Nor will I ever abuse him in any way.
But.. I will Command him to do and be
as I tell him to do.

He has told Me repeatedly that I am not
an intrusion into his life, but I have still
'pussyfooted' around to some degree.
I suppose My frustrations have led Me in
circles, which in retrospect was not fair to
either of us.

Because... instead of leaving him to choose,
I should have simply Commanded what I wanted
of him.

Lessons indeed...
pet knows that when I think of him as 'pet'
I think of him as a young colt..
strong, wild and free and often stubborn,
but one needing to be guided and trained.
He did not like the term 'leash' for the
one I had gotten him, and indeed, tis more
like a horse's lead line, and so that is what I call it,
his lead line.
Tonight.. he's getting led alright.
He may even get jerked around some.
Never does good to piss one's Mystress off.
But, I can't blame him too much for it,
because that should never have been his
choice in the first place overly much.

But.. I learning MY own lesson very well
in this I think... no.... I KNOW.

He is My Paladin,
My pet... and
yes.. most especially
My pleasure slave.

That was what I was looking for,
and that is what he responded to.
That's what he has said repeatedly that he wants.
And that's exactly what he will be tonight.

In the last couple of weeks,
he has grown into the
'new and improved pet'
well..this week sees the
heralding of the 'new and improved'
Mystess.

So, he'll get to see a side of Me
that he has rarely seen.
And some parts, he never has before.
He's been told to be compliant and well behaved
and that its time for him to do exactly what
I want and need him to do.
And.. from the slight tremor in his voice,
I think he likes the sound of it.
He's never heard Me speak to him this way
before..but.. he'll be hearing more of it now.

So... we shall see how the evening goes,
but I expect that we'll both enjoy it.
For he does get pleasure from giving pleasure
and so he should have plenty of it tonight.

Best to all
(and especially us)
Mystress