Paladin's 'uniform' colors are black and gray. And those are the colors that I most prefer him in.
In his work shirts, I least like him in white. It's too mundane and does not suit his coloring nearly as well as the other colors. He looks very good in blue as well because of his beautiful blue eyes.
However.. He knows what his uniform colors are, and that he is supposed to be in those when we are 'together'. So he knows to wear those on any weekend day that we are together. I'll allow his black sports outfits because they are comfortable to him, however I always prefer him in his black jeans.
Paladin has been wearing either black or gray shirts for the past several weeks on the days I see him and when he sends his morning pic, he always looks so stunningly handsome in them.
This morning.. he sends his pic.. and he is in .... white.
Hmmmmm....
Not a good move pet.
He did not remember My telling him NOT to wear white on a day I see him. He said he had worn blue and white before and it was okay. Well... the shirt I have of his is blue.. and so I had had him wear a blue one to switch this one out with. But since then.. he has worn black or gray on days I see him. So I thought he knew. When I saw him in the white shirt today, I wrote him back to tell him that white was NOT okay, unless he does not desire to serve Me that day. He immediately wrote to say that he did want to serve. Thats when he wrote and said that he was confused since he had worn white and blue in the past and he thought it was okay.
Since he said he was confused, I tried to simplify it for him. I asked him what colors I like him most in.
"Black and gray" he texted back.
"And what color do I least like you in".
white" he wrote back.
"Exactly and exactly" I wrote back.
Sooooo.. if you KNOW what colors your Mystress likes... and what She doesn't.. even if you DON'T remember to wear your uniform colors, or think you need to.. why on earth would you wear Her least favorite color on a day She is going to see you????
Consequences are.. he will not be allowed to wear his restraints until he convinces Me that he truly wants to be of service. I hate punishing pet by striking him. I have done it.. and I can do it. But I don't think that will teach the lesson that I want to here. It would be a sure fire way to clear the air and end it all. I am sure that he will never forget the lesson after our flurry of text messages back and forth this morning.. but.. he still has to earn his way back into My good graces.
I told him he had the day to do it.
So far.. nothing unusual.
Perhaps I have been too lenient as of late. I did warn him in advance on Sunday about his making sure he had on the right kind of shirt when I saw him then. Else he would not have. He did not remember to have it on. And.. I gave him grace on his blog last nite so he could relax and watch a movie. And this morning, he wears a shirt color he knows I least like him in, although he did not do it on purpose, he just didn't really think about it. But shouldn't he have?
Because I am going to watch football with him on Sunday, I was reluctant to see him this evening. Especially after he explained how he best recharges being totally alone. And I do understand this. He is a very private person who needs that alone time. Sunday is a special event so to speak, although it was not an 'easy' date to get with him. When I asked if he was going to be watching the games, he said yes, he'd have them on. Period. I had already said that I would love to watch them with him, but there was no response to that gentle hint.
Hmmmm....
I know that he does the best that he can in general. And we'll just have to see how this afternoon evolves. I realize he's most likely having a very busy work day, and I certainly don't hold him responsible for not being able to text Me when he is. However.. there are such things as bathroom breaks, and if I had a hint my Mystress was upset, I think I would have taken one somewhere in the couple of hours to send Her a text groveling a bit more. Especially since I had to work so hard to get Her to agree to see me tonight.
Well.. perhaps a break from routine would be a good thing. Damm, sometimes I hate being a Libra!!! I can go back and forth one something like this when I am unsure of exactly what it is I want to do. So much easier when things are clear cut. But... I have to take how far he has come into consideration. Or do I? Perhaps a good jerk on his lead line is in order. I had even considered giving him those five smacks with the belt for this. And maybe I still will. If a rule is not totally clear cut, then is it right to discipline him? Makes Me wish I had the kind of readers that some other blogs have where I'd get some suggestions during the day from our readers to tell Me what they think.
If you do happen to stop by between now and 5pm PST, please drop a line and let Me know what you think or what your suggestion would be. I could use some help here today.
Still pondering...
Mystress
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3 comments:
I'll give you my thoughts, but they may or may not be helpful. Every relationship and every person is different.
One thing I would really leave out is the recriminations/guilting. "Why didn't you think of this?" type of talking just seems to encourage him to feel bad, which is...shaming. Not fun (at least, it wouldn't be for me and my boy).
One of my guiding principles is that the relationship, including the d/s, is about pleasure and satisfaction. It's not about trying to accomplish something in some heavy way.
If this is a first "offense" and he legitimately didn't know there was a rule, then I wouldn't punish him; it seems unfair.
I might do something like this. Have him kneel, facing the floor. Explain the rule to him. Ask him to restate and confirm it.
If he did already know there was a rule, or if you want to punish him, I would go for a more direct punishment of whatever kind rather than withdrawing your dominance or not letting him submit until he proves himself. I think the latter is too painful.
Punishments don't have to involve pain. You could have him maintain some position (nose to the wall...or floor...or whatever) for a period of time. You could have him write lines ("I will not wear a white shirt"). I do like physical punishment myself, because it's quick and direct, but you can also withdraw privileges or a million other things.
These are just my opinions based on assuming you guys are more or less like us, which is probably wrong :-)
Dev,
Thank you so much for the comment and input!! I do appreciate it very much and to a large degree, we are like you. The one thing I try not to do is to have a 'knee jerk' reaction to something like this. I like to have time to make a good and fair decision.
Your also right in that I never like to shame him. I am so very proud of him and how far he has come. He is perfect 99.9% of the time and is always trying to be 130% perfect for Me, and I do know this.
I also agree about not letting him submit. Just as I would never take his collar away from him for any reason. Generally, past suggestions about a really good lecture doing the job is what I will most likely do. Having him recite this rule and the best answer is for him to stick to his uniform on days that he sees Me will keep it simplest for him, which I also prefer to do. I don't like to complicate his life. I want our relationship to be an enhancement, and not a burden.
He has the point right now, and I know he will not forget this lesson. He is very much of a perfectionist and berates himself when he makes even the smallest mistake.
Again, thank you so much for your wonderful input,
Mystress
Thank you for your advice...i am sure my Mystress took it under heavy advisement. It seems both you and her are very like minded and thats a good thing to hear. It is more proof to me that there are others out there that share a very simialr view as Mystress and I and thats always a comforting idea.
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