Paladin as My Support and Anchor

I would like to share with our readers yet another way that Paladin serves Me. And this is as a great comfort when I am stressed. I think the extent that he goes to do this this is somewhat unusual for a 'submissive'. It is not just the physical parts of Me that he concerns himself with and looks after, but also My mental and emotional parts. He goes out of his way at all times to be aware of how I am feeling.

I have a few things going on in My life that are destabilizing right now, including seeking a new home. Our landlord has raised our rent significantly, so we are looking to move as soon as we can. We have found one we like a lot, but We've not heard back from the landlords about it yet. So I have been feeling more then a bit destabilized about it, and Paladin has been of great support and comfort to Me in this. I have been more then a bit on edge about it, and dear Paladin has been of great help to Me in this.

Another and yet equally significant event has been the illness of My Master and My evolution as Paladin's Mystress. The only remaining traces of My submission have been connected to Master. But it has been in the six months that I have been Paladins Mystress, that I have been Master's submissive in name only. The 'service' I have done for him during his prolonged illness has transformed more into that simply of a loving friend which I will always be. Last night saw the effects of that hitting Me rather hard as I felt the last vestiges of the submission I had clung to for so long crumbling away. Devestating wrote on her blog about not really being a switch, and I can certainly relate to that now. Whereas I started out as sub, then thought of Myself as something of a switch, as of last night, I don't feel that way anymore. It is a good feeling to look at My Paladin kneeling before Me.. and feel the passion of of his submission and how much I enjoy it. We all have our journey's of transformation, and this one had certainly reached a turn in the road. It was still somewhat emotional for Me.. and Paladin held Me and comforted Me while I dealt with it.

How to convey this to Master? Or will I? Perhaps it will simply pass into dust as Master only seems to be getting worse and not better mentally and emotionally. Where I have been strong for him, so is Paladin now strong for Me. I do not know if who he was will ever resurface, and if it does, will it be too late for the submissive in Me to as well? I think so. I certainly am not who I was when this journey began. But i am stronger and better then who I was. I feel better about who I am as well.

This is something that My Knight and Paladin have both wanted. For Me to be stronger and more self assured. This is one reason he has been so supportive of My spending time with Paladin. He is very happy about My progression in regards to My domination over Paladin. My Knight would much rather I be a Domme then a sub. I still have My moments of emotional weakness. I cannot be happy all the time. As a Scot, I am prone to both a hot temper and 'Celtic moroseness ' as My father warned Me early on in life. I try to keep an even keel however to the best of My ability. And I struggle against it, I do try to control it and not let it control Me. And Paladin, bless his heart, also does his best to be as loving, supportive and cheerful as he can with Me.

That is a part of his service to Me that has been unexpected, and extremely endearing. As I told him last nite, although one thing dies, another lives. And so goes the way of My submission and dominance. I have come to rely on Paladins calming presence, be it in person or by text to help Me over the rough times.

Early on I asked him if he would be not just My submissive, but also My confident. While he was fine with the submissive part, it took him longer to agree to the confident. He felt that it was a great responsibility that he was not sure he was ready for. But I needed both, and he finally did agree to both. So there are things I tell him I tell no one else. So this is another reason for the depths of our connection. This has been a great relief to Me to have him to be able to talk to about anything. I trust Paladin's judgment in everything. He is a very wise man.. and always has My best interests at heart. I deeply appreciate that. He is also one the happiest people I know. He is always upbeat and looks to the positive. He never carries any baggage around with him and he prefers to live in the moment as much as possible. He is so very patient with Me when I am being temperamental. I try not to be.. but.. I do have My moments, and he seems to have gotten used to them enough to be able to sooth My feathers when I get Myself ruffled.

Another of Paladin's amazing traits is his persistence in making Me communicate with him. There are time when I tend to withdraw and tuck My head down upon Paladin's chest. But he will not let Me do that.. he always lifts My chin and makes Me look at him, and communicate with him. He is tenacious about it. He is the most observant man I have ever known. Not a sigh passes his notice without him asking Me what it means or how I am feeling. He knows Me well enough now to know when I am not speaking My mind for some reason. He says he can see the 'gears' working in My mind.. and again, he will not let Me not talk to him. And.. I deeply appreciate this from him as well.

So while Paladin serves Me with enormous servings of all the pleasure I might want.. he also serves Me by being My special confident. He provide Me emotional and mental support in all the ways I could need it. He is the only person I know who never gets mad or impatient with Me. He never sulks or pouts... he only asks, and listens, and does his best to cheer Me up. And this service is as important as any other part of him. And again, and again.. I appreciate it. Last nite was yet, another proving of it. As he posted tonight.. we did talk for hours and hours and hours. While pleasure was on both of our minds.. it was the last aspect of the evening. I was in a decided funk all nite.. and Paladin simply supported Me.. and held Me.. and made Me talk it all out until I finally felt better.

So this is yet another aspect of our relationship.. One neither of us writes about.. and yet.. our friendship and support of each other is one of the bedrocks of the foundation of our relationship.

Thank you so much My beloved Paladin.. for being the wonderful man that you are.. and the gift that you give Me of your ever loving and kind patience.

With much love,
all ways,
Your Mystress