My Evolution.

When i first started my journey with Mystress i knew that i wanted to do it...i had been searching for the right Mystress for many years..and knew that for the right Mystress i would be able to change.

When I first started i was very reserved...as Mystress would say...I'd always have my castle walls up and on full defense. I was very tentative as with Mystress taking her first steps. I knew that i had to be sure that my Mystress was the right one...to build a level of trust i could use to expand on...to change from.

The trust was built fast as i felt something...just something from my Mystress...a good vibe or energy you may say...that i knew i could trust...and with this my change really started. I started to open up alittle more..sometimes at the proding and insistance of Mystress...but still it was something i wanted..something i needed.

Mystress identified this need...and even though Mystress insistance and pushing were at times difficult...for i had never taken these steps before...i knew that they were the right steps...and Mystress reinforced this thought with reassurances and many lessons and clear examples.

As time went on, what was difficult became easier. These included having Mystress stay over, expressing my feelings and thoughts, my desires and my longingness for Mystress to name just a few. My submission also grew.

At first it was a difficult task to stay submissive as my stubborn side would often come to the surface...i don't think i was ever disobedient or defiant...just hestiant and reluctant at times. But as with everything else...over time its become easier. I can go to sub space the moment Mystress tugs on my hair or bites my lip...or when Mystress forces me to my knees...at the start these were loft goals and seemed to be far out of reach...but Mystress through her lessons taught me the way...and its become so much easier now...I'd say almost automatic.

The one thing i am still working on is expressing my true feelings..openly and often. As Mystress says in her posts...hearing such declarations over and over and over does not diminish them...but instead makes them stronger...for each time it is said it deepends the meaning. A lesson i have thought much of as late and am determined to learn and put into practice....for if it makes my Mystress happy...it so so makes me happy.

So today i feel my walls...if they can even be called that...are much much lower...more like a white picket fence...still there but far less intimadating...and much more welcoming. The changes in myself...that even i have noticed..have been profound and i hope to make many more in time for my Mystress.

Enjoying he mutual evolution...

Paladin