Changing Wants

Last nite, like all others, was a remarkable nite. It was an evening when passion took the front seat to everything else. I had Paladin tease Me to incredible distraction while the lasagna heated up for dinner. Normally I have one heck of an orgasm at this point, but I decided to wait until after dinner as pet had said he'd love to tease Me for hours. After the dinner beeped that it was ready, we got up and ate. As always.. delightful to eat with Paladin. And after dinner, we decided to skip the bath and head back to the bedroom and into bed.

I had asked Paladin to reverse the rolls last nite as I sometimes do and he obediently did so. He did something he had never done before, and that was that he used his own restraints to bind Me to the bed rather then the other set. I wasn't sure how I felt about this, but I was willing to roll with it for the time being.

One nite, not too long ago, I told Paladin some of My deepest fantasies and what I wanted to experience when tied and blindfolded. These were the very things which he then did to Me last nite. It was incredibly intense. Although I egged him on for more and more, and he did exactly what I wanted him to do, I guess I've become too much of a Domme to handle it. Because it felt like something snapped and suddenly there came a point when I'd had enough and stopped him. I had never done that before.

After I came back from a sort of sub space and could move and communicate again, I made him take the restraints off fairly quickly. They didn't feel right. I think if he's going to restrain Me, I'll want him to use the other set, and not his. But I was glad to have had the experience. This was yet another step along My evolution to being a stronger Dominant. Seems I keep getting further and further away from the submissive I was.

After I was fully back, I then began to Command him as to what I wanted him to do. I found Myself being more brisk with him then usual and jumping from one Command to another. I grabbed him by his leather training collar, jerking on it and making him state his belonging to Me, and his collar mantra over and over to Me. What that means is that when I tug on his collar once, he is to say "Yours" And if I jerk on it twice, he is to say "This is a symbol that I belong to You".Jerk, jerk, jerk, "Yours, Yours, Yours" Damn right pet.. you ARE MYNE!

Finally after he delivered Me of a series of a mind blowing orgasms I suddenly got very very chilled. It was a cold and rainy nite. I found Myself curled in a ball shaking and shivering. It took a bit for Paladin to convince Me to get into the shower with him. He went and turned the water on for us. We spent quite some time under the hot water just holding each other. There was not washing, just the warmth of the water splashing on us. After we got out and got dried off, I had him turn off the music, blow out the candles and into bed we went. Paladin still wasn't feeling better and My poor pet had a headache to boot. He was in fact feeling so bad he wasn't even up to having an orgasm of his own, even though I wanted him to. But I think his head just hurt too badly. After we were back into bed I curled up close against his warm body and slept. I think we both snuffled and coughed some, but mostly slept. He slept in again and then I dressed while he showered and it was time to go off our own directions. He is off with his buddies tonight doing his 'guy' thing. Which is a good end of the week relaxation for him.

I had lunch with a new submissive friend today, and during the conversation, as she asked about My transition, I realized that one of the biggest differences, in Myself is that I don't fantasize about being Dommed anymore.. but Domming! She smiled and said that that WAS a pretty big difference, and she is right.

I'll admit, I've gotten pretty spoiled in being able to see Paladin on the past couple of Sunday's. I think that seeing him more frequently has led to My ever growing dominance and the strength of it. It's certainly given Me something special to look forward to. But he needs some down time totally alone to rest. Our reunion is always enjoyable, but I'll still miss being able to cuddle on his couch and watch football or movies or something. It's one of those balancing things that I find difficult. Sometimes it's easier then others. I've planned some things to keep Myself busy this weekend , and I'll look forward to seeing him on Tue. I wonder, if he'd ever do something to surprise Me spontaneously. Darned if I don't wish he did need Me sometimes. It makes Me wonder how long it would take him to beg for him to see Me, or if he would.

Best to all,
Mystress