Explanation for Mystress Confusion.

Mystrss has wondered out aloud on a number of occasions how she is slightly confused as to why i have made the choice to submit to her control...that knowing how in control of my life I am...that i control every aspect of it with military discipline...that i would relinquish my control to another.

The answer is simple...being in control of myself and to a large degree others around me...i know what its like to be in control...but i have always yearned to feel what the other side is like...but not just with anyone...it had to be with someone special...someone i could trust...and open up to and share such a special thing with. Having spent many many years searching for the right one...i am extremely fortunate to have found Mystress...the right one.

When i put my collar on and submit to Mystress...a immense calm comes over me...i immediately know that i am no longer in control...that Mystress...the one i trust is now in control...and that she in her wisdom will guide us on a wonderful path of discovery and growth that we both will share and grow together. By doing this i experience the other side...trusting another and growing to care for her because of how caring she is when i do submit to her.

Other feelings run through my mind at other times too...when i bow to Mystress it refinforces my choice to submit to Mystress...to turn over control. When i am bound...it amazes me that i allow myself to be in this position...some would say weakness...but to me its a sign of my ultimate sacrifice of control to another..the special other that i would only do this with. Wearing clothing, learning signs and positions, protocol and methods of pleasure all serve to make the experience complete.

At first all this was very dificult for me...i would question and analyze each order...but as i have learnt to trust my Mystress...the orders have become easier...those we do in private i do without hesitation...those we do in public still have some analysis but that is rapidly evaporating...for it is my goal to make them as automatic as the ones in private are. This comes with the ever growing trust i have in Mystress...proven by the exploration of new horizons.

How would i explain my choice to others...I have pondered that some and have not been able to formulate an answer as of yet...I would simply explain that its my choice...a choice i did not make lightly...but i choice i now rejoice in making...only because of Mystress being the right match and the special one i have looked for years.

I hope this has shed some light on your confusion Mystress...if you require more clarification i would be happy to give it to you.

With love and kisses

Paladin