Breaking the mold

The last week has seen many walls come down. Mystress has finally found a way to pull down my walls, walls build up over many many years. Not just by my choice but by my environment.

For many years i have chosen to be very private due some painful experiences...to not relive them it was very easy for me to build up a very solid wall of defense with a very very very small door. Well Mystress seems to have found the key and not only opened the door but is now breaking down the walls.

The second resaon for my walls is the culture where i grew up. We were taught to not really be open with emotions. To keep what we felt to ourselves and to rely on others to pickup on our meanings and feelings without having to say it. For the most part it seemed to have worked...but i guess there were flaws in this reasoning. For if the walls were thick enough it would suffocate all the feelings trying to escape making it impossible to derive any form of emotion for oneself. Well Mystress has taught me a valuable lesson regarding this...and that is..."When in Rome, do as the Romans do." By That i mean if one is surrounded with those that share their feelings and do it openly to show how they feel about one another, then I should do the same.

It was a slow lesson learnt but a lesson learnt non the less. Combined with the walls being torn down and living the life of a Roman, i hope that i can evolve and share my true feelings with those around me. No longer do i see myself in the cultural mold protected by high walls...but more being poured into a new mold of openess and expression.

Paladin