My pet rock.. aka the Super Submissive Support System

Which My dearest Paladin has been in spades...

Hello dear readers...

Been one heck of a bumpy ride.

Of all things that have happened in the last week, Paladin has been the one constant solid thing. All other things have swirled like the sea around your ankles, pulling back to sea bits of your life. He has held Me in his mind and heart all through this, like the giant weeping willow tree that lives on the huge rock he has chosen to represent him. Tall, strong and yet comforting and implacably solid. He has come to Me and knelt before Me, holding and comforting Me and allowing Me a safe place to let all of My feelings out unconditionally. He is very wise and has given Me some sage advice, and given Me the strength to get through this difficult time.

A bit of an update....

My mother passed away a week ago today. It was a pain filled time that I am slowly coming to grips with, and doing My best to heal and move past. My goal is to deal with each thing as spiritually as I can.

At the same time, kajira robert has left to go and try and mend things with his wife, and I wish him all the very best at it. I hope that they can find a renewed partnership that will bring them both much joy. But I will always be here, watching over him and keeping up on things with him.

And now, My dear ex-Master is very ill yet again and weaker and sicker then I've seen him. Tis been over a year since the staph infection ate into his shoulder and left him ravaged. As I write this, My Knight has taken him to the emergency room yet again as it looks like the staph may be in his ankle. We pray not... that this is something less viral. I wait to hear what happens.

At least My Knight is doing better and that is good.

Oh.. and least I not forget it, My desktop computer seems to be having a meltdown. I got a great new "N" wireless card for it, but it didn't seem to work and now the darn machine keeps turning itself off after an undetermined amount of time. Grrrrr.. and we all know how those computers can affect us. Paladin finally had to suggest, strongly, that I just leave the machine alone and use the laptop for a while. But I LIKE My desktop!! I want to be able to speed around Second Life at full rendering speed. Now I am thwarted! Paladin has told Me that if I bring said sick computer over to his place next weekend when I am supposed to see him that he'll see if he can figure anything out. Yeah.. like I really wanted to spend a weekend alone at his place working on the darn computer. Hmmmm.. maybe I'll make him do it naked. (smile)

Paladin is currently in the midst of a long project of long days and nites. Yet with all that, he's never been further then a text away. His ever steady support has been a life saver. Because of his intense work schedule and computer time he has had to do, I had told him to belay writing here on the blog until today when I have asked him to give an update. I think I'm a bit ahead of him at it, but I still want him to write his perspectives and how he felt as a submissive serving in this sort of capacity.

These past couple of weeks Paladin has served in ways that I never expected I would need. All through my mother's short illness he has made his home open to Me any time I needed it.... culminating with Me and My Knight going to him directly after My mother's life support was removed and I waited for her passing. Suffice it to say that was some very bad energy that was spewed on Me and drove Me from My mother's side where I had intended to be. Immediately after arriving both My Knight and Paladin agreed I needed a shower to get it all off. I asked Paladin to wash My clothes as well which did. All of that helped some. Getting the negative energy washed off as soon as possible certainly helps to move past a difficulty so that the remnants of the shock is not longer clinging to you. Paladin as an engineer was able to explain to Me how engineers (My parents both being engineers) react in some circumstances, especially those they are unfamiliar with . Because of My years of hospice work, I had more familiarity with all of this then My family did. Anyways.. it was all very difficult, and yet, Paladin was able to help comfort and explain things to Me that genuinely helped Me.

I cannot speak of the details of what happened as they are too painful, but I will say that having both Paladin and My Knight hold Me while I grieved certainly helped. His home is very very peaceful and we managed to have a quiet bubble together, just the three of us.. our own little family it felt.. and I could feel the blessing of being so loved by these two, and feeling the merging of their energy in their love of Me.

My Knight respects and cares for Paladin and feels strong in knowing that Paladin will always look after Me. The two rings I wear, each a promise to Me from each man of their love and dedication to My well being is something I try never ever to forget to appreciate.

The leaving of robert has been very very difficult as well. But it was something he needed to do, and he is still Myne. So far his texts have been that things are going well. I hope and pray that his wife will appreciate him finally as the great guy that he is and that she needs to love him and thank him for all that he does, as I tried to do so much when he was here.

This is My birthday month, and for the first time, I'm not very cheerful about it. It was My Mother's too.. two days after Myne.. this year, we are holding a celebration of her life on it.

I feel..... numb in some ways. I am trying to appreciated all the things I have and the good things coming along.

On a house keeping note.... I deleted some links that were not around any more or hadn't posted since last year. Always sad to do that.. and I wonder what happened to some of them of course. Or those that have gone private. So, I also added some new links from places I found on sites linked to us.


Well, I think that is a pretty good catch up of things from My perspective for now.

Continued good wishes to everyone out there!
Mystress