Holiday Reflections - with a PS

Greetings Friends....

Two weekends ago, Paladin came to put up our Christmas decorations....for the last time. Here anyways. As he did.. we reflected on the years that he has been doing it for us. We talked about the first year, when we had a new kitten.. and how Paladin had to be sure that the decorations were higher then we hoped said kitten would reach. We laughed in memory of said kitten going right up the middle of the tree, bringing it and all its lovely decorations crashing to the ground.

That said kitten, is now a fine handsome cat who while sniffing at the tree this year, opted to recline on his catnip ladden perch with a semi-dreamy look in his eyes supervising it all from there.

This years decorating.. was .. a bit more sombre as we talked about what we would take, and what we wouldn't. Mostly.. we will start out all new in our new place. I have some straw and gold ornaments that I got while I was in Germany in 1999, and a Mystress glass slipper one from a local Domme party we went to together.
Other then that.... none of them are sentimental to me, or to us. So someone will end up with a big box of donated decorations.

After the decorating, we walked through the little duplex I live in, deciding what things would go, and what would be sold or given away. I am only taking about 1% of what is here. I have a few family treasures that will come along.. some books and clothes, my Reiki table and things, but other then that, I'm going light and all for a fresh start.

On Christmas eve, as the step kids opened their presents, and a lovely evening was had, I couldn't help but think, this was my last Christmas with this family as it is. Only the older step son knows what's going on. And I have his full support. He loves me, and his dad, and Paladin, and his Dad's sub.. although he thinks she's 'just' the Secretary (knows and is glad his Dad is moving in with her, just doesn't know the D/s aspect to any of us) . He fully supports this move of mine with Paladin to get better. He knew some of why I couldn't have kids, I had told him before his dad and I were married, but he never knew it all. No one did. But on Thur nite we went to see him, and I gave him a copy of my doc's letter to the VA, explaining the attack and what had happened, and its subsequent devestating effect on me over the years. He hugged me tightly after and promised that he'll always be the son I'll never have. Having his support and blessing means a lot. He promises to come visit Paladin and I where we are going. He also said he would figure out how to explain it all to his younger and not so open minded sister. Who, was blissfully unaware of the underlying sadness the other 3 of us had, knowing that after 12 years, this was the last Christmas like this one. We didn't want to ruin her Christmas so kept the secret to ourselves for the time being.

Paladin himself was far away in another town with his parents and siblings for the holiday, and I felt his distance and it was hard to have him so far away. Even though we kept in touch by txt the whole time, just knowing he's local helps keep me calmer. I was glad when he landed on Mon evening and was home safe and sound.

So, now the holiday is over.. and the last one of the year approaches. We've all spent New Years together the past 4 years, and this year, the four of us will gather at Paladin's home again. And as we ring in the new year. then changes will take place. A new year and a new future for all of us. Paladin and I have spoken of getting my Knight and his sub tickets to fly where we are next year for New Years and continue our tradition of celebrating it all together. We'll see what the New Year actually brings, and how things unfold.

Wishing all out there a safe and semi-sane New Year.
*smiles*
Safe paths to all,
Mystress

P.S. The meeting with my Dad went well, and he hopes to meet Paladin soon. I had to cancel on Mon due to a sick friend being here, but then, it turned out the day I went was my Dad's 92 birthday, so we had a nice lunch and a great visit. And I got to bring my Mom's hope chest back, so now it's the first thing at Paladin's of mine to go with his things to our new home.