Of Travelling and Time

Greetings Friends and Readers,

It's been a hectic 3 months.  I was granted my 100% for unemployability from the VA for PTSD due to Military Sexual Trauma.  I have 70% disability for it, but am considered (essentially) too crazy to work.  Yup... afraid that is true.  The insomnia and especially the rage at the military that fights to hang onto it's 'good 'ol boy' way of doing things while young men and women are still being raped and victim shamed.  Errr.. right.. as you can see, that train quickly leaves the station and I'm less likely to use a decent filter then not.
Right... after 35 years of burying it and (not) 'dealing' with it to survive, it seems to erupt like a volcano sometimes. I still go to group every other week.  I am working on dealing with the overwhelming 'emotionality' that sweeps over me sometimes.

Pet... has been as always, fantastically amazing.  March 15 was two years now since we moved from CA to TX and went 24/7.  I thought about that this eve as I was out watering the herb garden and his voice came through the screen window "Mystress, may I use the restroom?"  (smile) "Yes pet".  If our neighbor had been outside, she would have easily heard it.   Don't think pet even thought of that as he called out to me though.  Well.. it is what is isn't it???  Life during these two years have been the most peaceful and happiest of my life.  We are the head of a Kind House and we have developed a wonderful family of choice here.  I am so very very blessed every day, and I am eternally grateful.   We have been asked to host a collaring and wedding in June here, and we are quite honored by that.

Getting the 100% also has given me the money to travel and pet has been totally supportive. So in mid Jan I flew to France,  to see a long lost and recently found beloved childhood friend who lives 90 minutes south of Paris.  It was wonderful to visit him, see his country, home, doggie and horse, and catch up on 45 years.  Then the weekend before I left he took me up to Paris and had to get back to his sick doggie, and left me at the hotel my other dear frien from Austria had gotten in Paris to spend the weekend with me there before I flew back.  Oh, what an adventure!!!  She is a dear, dear friend as well.  The hotel was near the airport so we 'took the train to Paris' (still can't belive I got to do it!) and then took a wonderful bus tour around, and I got to light a candle at Notre Dame for a dear veteran friend who passed while I was there.  I liked Paris much more then I thought I would and I look forward to going back.I have missed both of these friends very much!

 I only knew for about a week before I left that I was going to France.  I was invited by my childhood friend and as I had my passport in preparation for this summers trip to Europe, well.. Paladin said I should go... my therapist said I should go... so I did!!!  Then I was back for Valentines Day with pet and the family, and the next day, I was off to LA to stay with my best friend from elementary school before heading to northern CA to see my beloved step son and hitch a ride with my ex-Mistress back here to TX.  We got back on a Wed night, and pet had to leave for CA on Fri at 4am.  And then he was gone for 10 days.  So now, I am home until July when I go to Europe for 10 weeks.  I have friends to stay with, a volunteer job in Spain for a week, then to see my friend in Austria at her home for the first time since she moved back from China.  And she is German.  

And odd aspect was that I can't begin to say what it felt like to go travelling so spontaneously. I have never had the finances to be able to do such a thing, but with the year and half of back pay, I finally could!  I also got a new car, a 2013 Huyndai Elantra, which is the first new car I've had since a Dodge Colt my second year in the service! It replaced my '98 Corolla which I was able to give to a dear sister friend whose  previous car got squished by Hurricain Ike. And I got a new 27" touchscreen computer, which upgrades from my 8 year old computer.  I've had a growing list of things that needed replacing and this year, turned out to be the one!  And my 12 year old camera also got upgraded.  The new one has this awesome wifi thing on it that when I have an app on my phone synced with it, it will automatically send those pics from the fancyass camera to my phone!  Sooo awesome!  I feel like I've been living in the 90's and am just emerging in to the 2000's.   All along the way Paladin was so useful in helping me do research and evaluating and suggesting.  He has screen envy now.. and I've told him he's welcome to use my 'puter while I'm gone. And he likes my car too. I made sure he liked it and I got it in colors I know he likes too cuz when we go places, he drives and our county here in TX gives disabled veteran like me a free pass on the toll roads, so it makes sense to take my car when we go on them.  Never would have dreamed of that in my poor slightly beat up Corolla though.  But he likes the new silver car.  



Grins.. So, it has been a huge whirlwind since I wrote in Jan, but a wonderful one.  This eve, pet and I puttered together in the garden and we are both very happy with how its come out so far.   We have more plans to upgrade things here over the next 3 years, and then we move up to a bigger piece of land - according to pets 5 year plan.  I love a man with a plan!  And Paladin just gets better as the years role by.  In a few months, it will be 7 years since he was collared.  He is in the midst of a huge roll out of a program for his work that was causing him a lot of stress. Before his trip to see his family, I commanded him that he was NOT allowed to think about work until the weekend that he was coming back.  A few days into his trip, he sent me a txt thanking me for that Command.  (smile)  And on Wed, we had a D/s couple over and they arrived just as he was being reprimanded for tickling me by having to stand still so I could lick his nose.  That made them both break out laughing as pet wiped his wet nose off.  This week will be pretty hectic for him and I'll keep things running smoothly for him while he works hard to give us an ever better life, and he also plots his ever upwards career path.    And so we go on... and life is grand.  I love being 'retired' as my therapist call it. I love having this home with pet and the life we have.  

I bid well wishes to all out there in the blogesphere.  Sorry I've been gone for a few crazy months... but I'm back for a few before I go off again.

That's my catch up for now, got PTSD group at the local Vet Center in the morning so I best run along.  It's not just for me anymore, we get new ladies in, and seeing that haunted look as they open their closet doors... well. being there to welcome then out is a huge part of my therapy.  We had a new lady, Army show up last time. Was only supposed to stay for 15 mins, but she stayed the whole two hours... and cried along with us... I hope she comes back tomorrow.

Anyway.. best to all,
Mystress

The Holidays Come and Go and 2014 Goals and Plans

We have had a very quiet holiday season, and it has been very peaceful.   It wasn't about 'stuff'' just about being together.  Life with Paladin, continues to be joyful!  He is.. amazling fun to live with, as well as being very competent in taking care of all manner of things.  We love all of our times together and still wonder at simple things, like not having to record the Survivor Finale so that we can watch it together.  I've learned that pets favorite thing to eat spur of the moment is Mexican.  He has been busy working on his big military truck that will pull our little home on wheels when we get it.  The travel show that that pet has been waiting for is this coming weekend and he is quite excited - for him.  He had to work last nite so we stayed home and enjoyed just being together.    

I did a 'journal' post on Fet today about my goals and plans for 2014.  I am posting it here too to keep friends here up to date as well.
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1/1/2014

2014 Is starting out watching the Lord of the Rings Trilogy with pet.. seems appropriate for 2014. A looong story of how the smallest and simplest was able to save the world with the help of a few loyal friends and protectors who believed in Good overcoming evil. -nods- That small group overcame insurmountable odds and grew in size. It gives me hope that change for the better can be wrought if we work at it together. Let us all as a community work togther to foster what is best for all. To be as loving and kind as we can be, to be of service to others and to give benifit of the doubt, and Grace. That is my over arching goal.

The last doc that the VA sent me to at the beginning of Dec for my last eval told me that I needed set goals, and to find a couple of causes to get behind next (now this) year and work actively towards changing something helps me move from survivor to advocate. The things I care about most that I can do something to help change. She asked me what those things would be and I told her. She strongly encouraged me to be as proactive as possible. So, I am following doctors orders, being a good little sailor and here are my goals for 2014.

This is not actualy a goal, but a way of being. To keep Paladin as happy and healthy as possible. To be there for him, as he is for me. To keep him feeling valued and adored as my most prize... Precious. Yes.. he is My Precious.. and I can get golum like in my obsession to be sure that he is at the best he can be, and that I do the best I can for him as he does for me. I adore my one and only Paladin!

The first actual 'goal' that I told the doc I was going to do is to be actively working with other veterans to promote the passage of the Military Justice Improvement Act. I am a survivor of military sexual trauma. I never reported because I knew that the perps were best buddies with both the Chiefs and the Commanders who decided if cases went forward or not. I also saw Commanders overturn a guilty verdict because they were buddies with the guy and felt that the training of e-5 of e-6 was worth more then a measly e-1 or e-2. This Act will take that out of the chain of Command. The military is fighting this tooth and nail. They say they will change it. Well, my attacks happened 76-80 and NOTHING HAS CHANGED. If it were your son, (1 out of 5 males will be sexually attacked in the service) or daughter (1 out of 3) sibling, grandchild, mate, or friend, what sort of justice would you want for THEM? Would YOU want to leave it at the odds of how good of buddys the perp may be with the Commander. Or that Commanders mind set? Or would you want someone impartial (geee, in the civilian world a judge with some connection to someone involved in the the case in't allowed to be on a case, they must recuse themselves) to look at the evidence and make that decision??? A vote comes up in Jan for this. I ask every one of you out there to think of a veteran or service person that you love.. and call your Senator or Representative and tell them you want them to stand behind and pass the Military Justice Improvement Act.

Here is a link to more info about it:
http://www.gillibrand.senate.gov/mjia

This vote comes up THIS MONTH
Click on this to find your representive if you are here in TX:
http://www.fyi.legis.state.tx.us/Home.aspx

The next 'goal' is a bit more controversial, but interestingly enough, the Doc was very much in favor of my doing as much as I could to promote my next cause. Which will be much harder here in TX. And that is to work on changing the laws regarding medical and recreational cannabis here in TX. I have joined the Texas Normal group and plan to do my best as a veteran who has had 6 out of 7 doctors (including VA docs both here and in CA) tell me that cannabis is the best medicine for my PTSD. It was a Marine veteran with PTSD, who stepped up to a counter in Denver at 8am this morning to be the first person in our nation to buy cannabis legally in 70 years. I pray that by 2016, I'll be able to do the same thing here. This doc told me that she had read studies on how much cannabis can help with PTSD, and 'off the record' she encouraged me to pursue its legalization for medicinal purposes.

Here is a link to Texas Norml.
http://texasnorml.org/

For both subjects folks need to step up and do something. Here is the web page again where you can find out who your reps are and get the contact info here in TX.
http://www.fyi.legis.state.tx.us/Home.aspx

The other thing I'll be doing per docs orders is some travelling. what they don't know is I'll be doing it with my ex-Mistress, now dearest Domme friend. We have travelled from CA to Maryland together by car and all up and down the CA coast. I'll be flying out to CA right after Michell from Hell's Valentine party, and then she'll drive me back to TX. That will be my first trip this year.

The next will be our trip to Europe. We are going to be going to the Munro Clan gathering at Castle Foulis, which has been in my family for over 800 years. Over 300 Munros are expected to come. It will last for 3 days. Hikes, pipers, history, Highland Games, Scotch tasting and a formal Scottish dinner and dance on Sun night! My Da used to talk about Foulis.. and the family there. I look forward to meeting Hector, Chief of Clan Munro. I also firmed up on Mon that our trip will start in Amsterdam (per recommendation from my German friends who live 3 hrs from there), where my friends from Germany will meet up with my friend and I and we'll head to Germany for a couple days before catching a train up to Scotland. Then we'll come back down through London, meet up with my German friends again and then we'll spend a few weeks seeing London, Cornwall and Germany with them. We may then be in Spain for a couple of weeks, and then Italy. I want to see a fjord while I am in Europe, and my friends have promised to take me to see one. I have always wanted to see Europe and I look forward to it bunches. It looks to be about 8 weeks of travelling, and I'll miss pet something terribly! But its something he strongly supports as C and I have been planning this trip for two years now, ever since I saw that the Munro's were having this clan gathering this year, and she got her retirement from the state of CA. Two Dommes traipsing around Europe.. so don't be surprised at some groups I might be joining from over the puddle.. that's why. She's already connected up with a couple of subs in some of the areas we'll be travelling.

Oh.. and as an avid reader, I am thrilled that the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon is coming to Starz in 2014. Love the cast they have so far. Keep an eye out for it if you have Starz, it's a great story.. better then Game of Thrones to me. Set in Scotland, and I am going to see if we can go where they are shooting if they are when we are there.

Keeping the House of Swan and its members and friends happy and well as best I can is both first and last on my list. I thank all of them for their help last year, and know I'll need it again this year. And I will be there to help any and all that I can as well.

On a last note, my VA case moved to the 'preperation for decision' phase on the E-Benefits website yesterday, so I expect to have a decision on it in the next week or so. Please send all good thoughts for it to come to pass. Then I can finally get my teeth and jaw that got busted up while I was in the Navy fixed by the VA, it will also give me a great sense of justice that they will compensate me as best they can for that which there is no compensation enough for.

I wish all friend and family a wonderful New Year and a most Excellent 2014, the year of the Horse shall rock!
Mytress Swan

Texas Renaissance Faire Bondage Camp 2013

Was AWESOME!  Some 11 members of the House of Swan all camped together.  I have a pic of the House Flag that I'll upload tomorrow and add.  The last number was 121 kinky campers for the weekend.  And it was great fun!  Our campsite had only 1 Dom and the rest was Dommes and male subs.  Mmmm...that made it extra special.  One of  our kinkster friends invited us over to come see his place when he got it set up. He set up 6 easy ups, covered them with a 50x50 tarp, put a ground tarp, carpet padding and then carpeting down, taped it all together with a couple of heaters and an X cross centrally set up. It was awesome!  A large contingent from our camp went to watch some great scenes, including one from our own group, a Domme with her male sub. Yummy!  But then someone started smoking inside, and then two others, and then we left.   There was a extensive out side play area, and we could see the spin of the fire floggers across the dark from our camp site, nestled in a nice corner on the outskirts of the camp.  I didn't want to be any where near the middle of that craziness.  Let me go visit it, then go back to my peaceful corner and watch the herds of 'nilla's walking by.  On Sat nite, someone got a great Celt band to come down and play.  Add in the fire flogging.. oh my gosh. that was pretty amazing. Just imagine fire flogging to Celtic drums and bagpipes.  That and Lady A's amazing hot buttered rum and we were all in heaven.  Truly some amazing scenes, even if it was chilly.

I HAD planned to tie pet up between a couple of tree, but the temperature got down to 42 degree and I just wasn't up to it. Dang it.  Even got a great new green and black flogger from Faire. It was Pirates weekend by the way, which made it all the wilder and crazier!  But oh it was sooo fun!   We had some camp visitors who didn't spend the night, but came up for a visit. Could hear the sounds of spankings and orgasms throughout our area, which WAS set up as an adults only area.  No one under 21 was allowed to camp in our area, and the boundaries were strongly enforced, which was also great.   And it was also Paladin's very first Ren Faire, and it was fun to watch his head swiveling trying to keep up with all the bouncing boobies.  He had to have a costume and I think in the end, he was glad of it. It was a simple one, and mine was a simple Scottish lass.  All of our company except sub j was in costume and he was Commanded to get one by next year.  The House of Swan had a marvy time at bondage camp.  All in all it was a great adventure and we look forward to a bigger and better bondage camp in 2014!

Paladin has decided this is our last season of tent camping though.  Turns out we both grew up camping and love it.  But tent camping is a lot of work.  So, we're going to be getting a small travel trailer for camping in, then the cold won't matter.  Nor will the humid day heat up by the lake.  We have spent several weekends over the past few months going and looking at trailers.  We got a really good idea of what we want.  He has to finish working on his big green army truck to haul it around though.  In two weeks we go camping again for Thanksgiving, and I'm really hoping that the weather will be not too cold.  They do have power and we do have our heater and electric blanket....its that walk to the bathroom at 2 am that gets me. Brrrrrrrrr!  So next spring, like beginning of March, we go trailer hunting! WEEeeee!

On another front, folks that read my other blog will know that I have my Compensation and Pension evaluation from the VA coming up on Dec 4. (Thank you for your ever sweet comments there too dearest Swan!!!)  I was told to file last year by my Vet Center and VA doctors and so I did - last August.  There is much anxiety connected to this as it will decide if I can get on with life, that the VA will fix the teeth that those asshats in the Navy busted all those years ago, or if I will have to file an appeal and continue to fight them for what's right.  I'm praying that this is it.  Its very hard to try and get past anything when one is in pain from what was done and you can't get it fixed. Paladin keeps telling me that financially it doesn't matter, that he will always take care of me. And I know that.. but.. I want to be able to help much more then I can, and the 100% will more the double my current disability payments.  I want to be able to spoil him like he spoils me.  I don't want to have to keep putting thousands of dollars into dental work for what the VA should fix!  For my birthday, I got a crown.  For my tooth.  I paid for the $900 root canal, and darling pet paid for the $700 crown. Dang..  It just irks me that the VA gets out of paying that when by all rights they should have.  But I can't get re-reimbursed  for it. Grrrrrr.   Anyways..so waiting for that date has me all antsy now, I'll just be so glad when it finally all over!

 Paladin as always, has been amazingly wonderful.  He was on a work trip to CA and came back last Sun sick as a dog and got me not quite AS sick, but enough to cancel everything this week in hope of being better for the great play party scheduled for Sat.  Its been sad since he's been so sick. I can't play with him at all.  He's coughing like crazy and going to bed early as he's too busy at work to be able to take any time off.  I do hope that Thanksgiving will be a time when he can really relax and unwind.  But.. his work is picking up... he is in charge of a new system throughout the corporation and business and he may have to do some more travelling to do training's on the new system.  I miss him like heck when he's gone, but he is good about wearing his M on his thigh and sending me yummy pics of it. And he stays in close contact while travelling.  We have friend near by who keep me company and check in on me, so I feel pretty safe although I sure miss his yummyness.

Looks like Paladin's family won't be coming out for a visit this year, and I don't have anyone either. But we have our wonderful local family we have now.  I am really hoping for a Christmas Miracle and getting my 100% right before Christmas.  It could happen!  

I wish everyone out there the best as we head into the Holiday season.  And I celebrate another year of joy with my amazing Paladin!!!

Mystress

Time Flies and We take on a New Hobby

South Padre Island, TX

Greetings Readers and Friends,

Yes, time certainly does fly by.  We had visitors from Germany for a couple of weeks, and I got to go on a wonderful trip with them to S. Padre Island (if you want some beautiful Texas coastal water to swim in, this is the place!  The La Quinta was a awesome hotel and right on the beach - literally. Walk out past the pool and your in the ocean.  It was sooo amazing.)  Our friend D loves to swim in the ocean like I do, and we spent all Tue from right after breakfast till about 5pm swimming in wonderfully beautiful water. I was sorry that Paladin couldn't get out of work to come with us.  We also then went up to San Antonio and enjoyed the beautiful River Walk and the tour of the Alamo.   It was nice to see more of my new state, and find some places to take Paladin to when he can get away.

San Antonio River Walk

Life with Paladin continues to be awesome.  Sometimes I stand at the top or foot of the stairs and simply marvel at my life here with him.  I have never lived so compatibly with anyone - ever.  So many times we say the same thing at the same time.  Arguments are almost nil, and not because I get to trump everything.    Frankly, I can't remember anything we have needed to argue about.  I'd say we go along with the same mindset about 98% of the time.  

We have taken up a new hobby that I had started in Calif, but had not pursued since moving.  We got re-inspired by our visiting friends, as they practice their hobby all over the world, and that is Geocaching.  Thur on our way to a local munch, we planted our first cache ourselves, and were delighted tonight to see it got published.  And then, on Fri, on our way to dinner, Paladin asked if there were any cache's in the area.  Sure enough, there looked to be an easy one right around the corner from the restaurant, and so off we went after dinner.  It was a lot of fun, and it's had us giggling like kids.  Here are a couple of graphics I came across today that  I liked a lot:

Since we both consider ourselves geeks, this 'sport' fits us perfectly.  We both love getting out in nature a lot and this adds a great new dimension to it.  I went on several cache hunts with our friends while they were here, and got introduced to some nice parks that are not too far away I didn't even know existed before they came.  Now there are 3 really wonderful ones for us to go to, some with lots of forest and trails to wander around in.  It's nice to know that if I don't want to go too far in after something I can send pet in to do it.

Lets see.. what else.. oh yes.. next weekend is our local Fetlife groups party. Its gonna be a tailgate party theme, and everyone is supposed to come in some sort of team or favorite sports attire.  Paladin is going as what he was, a Rugby player.  Got him some running shorts because all the rugby ones in his size were sold out, and a great rugby T Shirt.  He's griping about how short the shorts are, and Oh My... they are.  YUMMMY!  I find there is so little beefcake at the party most of the time.  I mean the half naked girl subs are cute, but most of the guy subs tend to be kinda thin and very scarce.  I've had more then one lady, including subs, ask me to play Paladin just so they can see him.  Cuz like YEAH, he's pretty hot.  He's a big man.. muscular and I'm tellin' ya ladies, we American's have really missed out on the whole Rugby thigh phenomenon. He normally wears jeans or khaki's to parties. But this is still summer here, and he's gonna be in the short short shorts.  His T-shirt is almost longer.  I'm going as a Dommy referee and going to put some yellow penalty cloth on one of my crops as well as having some penalty flags to throw around.   Should be a blast.  It's been several months since we've been to one and we are looking forward to it bunches.

On other fronts, I am still waiting for the VA to decide on my unemployability.  Last month was a year since I filed for it.  I have been getting great health benefits from the VA though and feel very fortunate.  I went for 12 years with no health care at all, and feel profoundly grateful for it now.  We're getting a new VA in our little town (turns out there is a huge population of veterans settled here) so I'll have to drive less then 2 miles as opposed to the 35 I do now.  Weeeee! And it opens next month. I just hope my new docs there will be good ones.  I like my Gen Phy, she's okay, but I really don't like the 'pod person' shrink. She's a twit.  She tries to be nice, but I can't get past her telling me she didn't need to read my file or talk to me, I just needed to take the drugs. UHGGGH!

On another happy note, pet and I are also looking for a little travel trailer.  We both love camping, but have come to the realization that we're past 'tenting' it now.  We'd like something that we can be warm in at night, and cool in during the summer.  We think we'll go out a lot more if we can just pull up on a Fri nite and be ready for dinner and a campfire. And then just pull up and drive off on Sun morning. He's been working on getting his recycled army truck ready to roll by early next year, it's gonna be really great once he gets it done.

Something I have noted in our new life here is that\it's been fun and amazing to learn how much more past the kink that we have in common!  

Gosh it's late and I better get to bed. 
I wish all well out there!
Mystress

Six Years..

So,  this past Sat was six years since I collared Paladin. 

It was on a Fri night... 

He had answered my ad and we had written back and forth, and then spent a weekend chatting for hours on yahoo. We met in person the next Wed. I knew the moment that he walked in, that he was all he had seemed to be online. He had come from work at the corporate office and so was dressed in slacks, blue shirt and blue tie. Drool worthy. I mean.. really. I had never been with anyone younger then myself since high school. Yet his seriousness made him seem years older then was. It was a amazing meeting that has led to an amazing life with him.

Here is what he wrote about our meeting:
First Meeting

And his
Collaring:

We were very happy we get to spend the with good friends and family! Pet's bday is on was on Mon, so  he got his bday spankings at the party on Sat. 0.0 He said 'but, it's not my birthday Mystress'. Humph... Seemed appropriate to ME anyways.  The ladies enjoyed the lovely beefcake that is pets rugby ass.  Yummm!   A great cake was gotten for us, and also for the birthday guests, of which there were two.

Next week our friends from Germany arrive for a couple of weeks... we'll miss the come back party we had been looking for, but  we did have a good time Sat night with friends on their X cross.  And pets new restraints that have bars to hold on to work really well.  The other two subs that went up on the cross used them also and really liked them. :-)  

Best to all,
Mystress

Spite Trolls

Good evening to all our friends. Its been ages since we posted and for very good reasons :) Living 24/7 together is amazing and we get so distracted so fast with one another, a month can pass in a blink of an eye. Those that have the same situation as us must surely agree that we are a fortunate bunch. We hope and pray that all our friends and guests looking for something similar find what they so desire for its truly a blessing to live it.

So my Mystress filled you guys in on our little Spite Troll...what a fucktard. Why would you randomly visit a site and feel that because you don't agree with a post, you get to spew hate and malice....well Mr or Miss Brazil...go jump off a bridge. We don't judge others and don't expect to be judged in return. If your looking for attention go someplace else and be the internet tough guy you seem to want to be. Thankfully this has been our first truly negative comment and we have decided to let it be water off our backs. Thanks to our friends who agreed with us ad concurring that this ass munch is doing it purely for attention..well your 5 minutes are over and on we move.....

Its Memorial weekend and thanks to our service men and woman for your service. We will remember all your sacrifices and honor your service. Along with our gratitude comes a wonderfully busy weekend...gala dinners, BBQ's shooting and if we can cram it in..some lazy time and relaxation :) Mystress is so so right in that we are way more busy here in TX than in CA. Why...we aren't really sure...likely its the open welcome all our new friends have extended. We happily accept the invitations and shall stay the busy happy couple :)

Well friends...it was good to write again..i am sure we will be paying more attention to our blog :) We apologize for our absence but its for a very good reason :) Thanks again for all the great comments and be well and happy to all.

Paladin

Sorry, I'm not Dead...

And life is most excellent.  

Late last night I deleted a nasty gram comment here from someone who said called me nasty names and said they hoped I was dead.   Sorry to disappoint you but, nope, not even close.  You can blame it on Paladin.  He made me promise not to commit suicide and I won't. :-)  

I hadn't realized how much time had passed since we last posted here.  Seems living the perfect life together is even better then we thought.  How awful aye nasty A?   We have been pretty busy with company and life. 

 It is interesting that I hadn't come here in a while, popped in early last night thinking I needed to come do a post, and then when the pain in my jaw wakes me up in the middle of the night and I check my email, and there is the nasty gram.   Really? WTF prompted that spewing of meanness?   I forward it to Paladin this morning and he says "What an ass thing to do. That's someone just being a fucktard." And he's exactly right.  Especially anonymous.  I am sorry for whoever is feeling so bad about themselves that they have to come vomit on a blog that's been quiet for the past few months.  

 Sooo.. to catch up.  The divorce from my ex was final at the end of Jan.  He and his girlfriend came for a two week visit in Feb and we had a party in their honor that was awesome.  We have our very own X cross and spanking bench in our upstairs 'medieval' room. It was a blast.  We have a House on Fet now, which allows us to invite our fave and most trusted friends over to party and play. We've been to a wonderful kinky camping trip with bunches of other folks running nekkid and half dressed everywhere.  My best friend from elementary school came to visit for 5 days, and we had a blast together.  She had not had the chance to meet Paladin before, but she likes him and says she so glad to see me living so well.  It was the very first time in ages that I hoped whoever I was with wouldn't embarrass me by being an asshat in front of her.  Paladin is never ever an asshat. And good for him, and I!

I have been doing posting on my other blog as the VA has had me busy with my MST group and psyc.  We did a showing of THE INVISIBLE WAR  at the Vet Center and I was the guest speaker. It was one of the hardest things I've done, but I was soooo blessed in that I had the most support there. I had five folks who love me come out and sit through it.  One of them, dearest sweet D was hit particularly hard by it.  She knew it was going to be a difficult movie to see, but she was not prepared for some of the brutality of MST and how victims are treated afterwards if they come forward.  I was touched beyond words that my family of choice all turned out to see the movie and support me as speaker.   

From that showing, I made an awesome new veteran friend and she is guiding me to be an advocate to help other veterans in our boat.  I am still waiting for the decision on my unemployability.  My teeth are really messed up and one of my biggest triggers.  Since I lost most of the teeth on the left side of my mouth, my teeth have shifted that way and now I have (whats to me) a huge ugly gap between my teeth that's only getting worse. My new veteran friend says not to worry too much as the VA will fix it all when I get the 100%.  I sure hope so.   And before more teeth fall out.  

 I also got an awesome civilian therapist who has helped me bunches.  I can make appts with her via the internet and I can't begin to say how great she is.  She is also kink friendly and we have talked about my journey from sub to Domme.  Yes, I can see why being a Domme makes me more comfortable, but I also see what I was re-creating for myself as a sub, but in a safe and consensual environment, which actually helped me deal with my MST past. 

I lost my really great psyc at the VA, she was a very proactive to try and help me get as many things done as the VA could to help make up for the terrible things that happend... she  got replaced by a pod person... who is trying not to be one quite so much, but whom I don't trust.  They didn't tell me Dr. H was being replaced and the day I went for my apt and this other person was there.. I just sat and cried for the whole half hour I was there.  The doc changed up my meds and said she didn't need to hear my story, I just needed to take the pills.  *nods* Pod person indeed. Losing her did inspire me to hunt out a civilian therapist who the VA couldn't control.  Found her via Give an Hour a organization of professionals who donate time to veterans.  Awesome!  Found two lady therapists in my area, and picked the one closest that I liked on first meeting.  Been such a huge relief to be able to see here when I need to. 

What else.... Paladin will be posting later this evening... I've told him to a few times and he's forgotten.  He best do it tonight or else..  I mean really.  :-)

I am using time today to catch up on the blogs we are linked to.  I have been very busy with two other causes near and dear to my heart, but this Blog... still has meaning too.  It is different living with Paladin full time far away from our families.  We are certainly busier socially here then we ever ever work in CA. Whew.. we have to turn down things to have some time alone to recoup.

Tomorrow we are going shooting together, then a gala hosted by one of the local Fet groups.  Mon we go spend Memorial Day with our new veteran friend for bbq and swim.

And on that note, pet is home early for the holiday... weeeee!

Best to all,
Mystress

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