Sorry, I'm not Dead...

And life is most excellent.  

Late last night I deleted a nasty gram comment here from someone who said called me nasty names and said they hoped I was dead.   Sorry to disappoint you but, nope, not even close.  You can blame it on Paladin.  He made me promise not to commit suicide and I won't. :-)  

I hadn't realized how much time had passed since we last posted here.  Seems living the perfect life together is even better then we thought.  How awful aye nasty A?   We have been pretty busy with company and life. 

 It is interesting that I hadn't come here in a while, popped in early last night thinking I needed to come do a post, and then when the pain in my jaw wakes me up in the middle of the night and I check my email, and there is the nasty gram.   Really? WTF prompted that spewing of meanness?   I forward it to Paladin this morning and he says "What an ass thing to do. That's someone just being a fucktard." And he's exactly right.  Especially anonymous.  I am sorry for whoever is feeling so bad about themselves that they have to come vomit on a blog that's been quiet for the past few months.  

 Sooo.. to catch up.  The divorce from my ex was final at the end of Jan.  He and his girlfriend came for a two week visit in Feb and we had a party in their honor that was awesome.  We have our very own X cross and spanking bench in our upstairs 'medieval' room. It was a blast.  We have a House on Fet now, which allows us to invite our fave and most trusted friends over to party and play. We've been to a wonderful kinky camping trip with bunches of other folks running nekkid and half dressed everywhere.  My best friend from elementary school came to visit for 5 days, and we had a blast together.  She had not had the chance to meet Paladin before, but she likes him and says she so glad to see me living so well.  It was the very first time in ages that I hoped whoever I was with wouldn't embarrass me by being an asshat in front of her.  Paladin is never ever an asshat. And good for him, and I!

I have been doing posting on my other blog as the VA has had me busy with my MST group and psyc.  We did a showing of THE INVISIBLE WAR  at the Vet Center and I was the guest speaker. It was one of the hardest things I've done, but I was soooo blessed in that I had the most support there. I had five folks who love me come out and sit through it.  One of them, dearest sweet D was hit particularly hard by it.  She knew it was going to be a difficult movie to see, but she was not prepared for some of the brutality of MST and how victims are treated afterwards if they come forward.  I was touched beyond words that my family of choice all turned out to see the movie and support me as speaker.   

From that showing, I made an awesome new veteran friend and she is guiding me to be an advocate to help other veterans in our boat.  I am still waiting for the decision on my unemployability.  My teeth are really messed up and one of my biggest triggers.  Since I lost most of the teeth on the left side of my mouth, my teeth have shifted that way and now I have (whats to me) a huge ugly gap between my teeth that's only getting worse. My new veteran friend says not to worry too much as the VA will fix it all when I get the 100%.  I sure hope so.   And before more teeth fall out.  

 I also got an awesome civilian therapist who has helped me bunches.  I can make appts with her via the internet and I can't begin to say how great she is.  She is also kink friendly and we have talked about my journey from sub to Domme.  Yes, I can see why being a Domme makes me more comfortable, but I also see what I was re-creating for myself as a sub, but in a safe and consensual environment, which actually helped me deal with my MST past. 

I lost my really great psyc at the VA, she was a very proactive to try and help me get as many things done as the VA could to help make up for the terrible things that happend... she  got replaced by a pod person... who is trying not to be one quite so much, but whom I don't trust.  They didn't tell me Dr. H was being replaced and the day I went for my apt and this other person was there.. I just sat and cried for the whole half hour I was there.  The doc changed up my meds and said she didn't need to hear my story, I just needed to take the pills.  *nods* Pod person indeed. Losing her did inspire me to hunt out a civilian therapist who the VA couldn't control.  Found her via Give an Hour a organization of professionals who donate time to veterans.  Awesome!  Found two lady therapists in my area, and picked the one closest that I liked on first meeting.  Been such a huge relief to be able to see here when I need to. 

What else.... Paladin will be posting later this evening... I've told him to a few times and he's forgotten.  He best do it tonight or else..  I mean really.  :-)

I am using time today to catch up on the blogs we are linked to.  I have been very busy with two other causes near and dear to my heart, but this Blog... still has meaning too.  It is different living with Paladin full time far away from our families.  We are certainly busier socially here then we ever ever work in CA. Whew.. we have to turn down things to have some time alone to recoup.

Tomorrow we are going shooting together, then a gala hosted by one of the local Fet groups.  Mon we go spend Memorial Day with our new veteran friend for bbq and swim.

And on that note, pet is home early for the holiday... weeeee!

Best to all,
Mystress

   .