Sunday, March 30, 2014

Of Travelling and Time

Greetings Friends and Readers,

It's been a hectic 3 months.  I was granted my 100% for unemployability from the VA for PTSD due to Military Sexual Trauma.  I have 70% disability for it, but am considered (essentially) too crazy to work.  Yup... afraid that is true.  The insomnia and especially the rage at the military that fights to hang onto it's 'good 'ol boy' way of doing things while young men and women are still being raped and victim shamed.  Errr.. right.. as you can see, that train quickly leaves the station and I'm less likely to use a decent filter then not.
Right... after 35 years of burying it and (not) 'dealing' with it to survive, it seems to erupt like a volcano sometimes. I still go to group every other week.  I am working on dealing with the overwhelming 'emotionality' that sweeps over me sometimes.

Pet... has been as always, fantastically amazing.  March 15 was two years now since we moved from CA to TX and went 24/7.  I thought about that this eve as I was out watering the herb garden and his voice came through the screen window "Mystress, may I use the restroom?"  (smile) "Yes pet".  If our neighbor had been outside, she would have easily heard it.   Don't think pet even thought of that as he called out to me though.  Well.. it is what is isn't it???  Life during these two years have been the most peaceful and happiest of my life.  We are the head of a Kind House and we have developed a wonderful family of choice here.  I am so very very blessed every day, and I am eternally grateful.   We have been asked to host a collaring and wedding in June here, and we are quite honored by that.

Getting the 100% also has given me the money to travel and pet has been totally supportive. So in mid Jan I flew to France,  to see a long lost and recently found beloved childhood friend who lives 90 minutes south of Paris.  It was wonderful to visit him, see his country, home, doggie and horse, and catch up on 45 years.  Then the weekend before I left he took me up to Paris and had to get back to his sick doggie, and left me at the hotel my other dear frien from Austria had gotten in Paris to spend the weekend with me there before I flew back.  Oh, what an adventure!!!  She is a dear, dear friend as well.  The hotel was near the airport so we 'took the train to Paris' (still can't belive I got to do it!) and then took a wonderful bus tour around, and I got to light a candle at Notre Dame for a dear veteran friend who passed while I was there.  I liked Paris much more then I thought I would and I look forward to going back.I have missed both of these friends very much!

 I only knew for about a week before I left that I was going to France.  I was invited by my childhood friend and as I had my passport in preparation for this summers trip to Europe, well.. Paladin said I should go... my therapist said I should go... so I did!!!  Then I was back for Valentines Day with pet and the family, and the next day, I was off to LA to stay with my best friend from elementary school before heading to northern CA to see my beloved step son and hitch a ride with my ex-Mistress back here to TX.  We got back on a Wed night, and pet had to leave for CA on Fri at 4am.  And then he was gone for 10 days.  So now, I am home until July when I go to Europe for 10 weeks.  I have friends to stay with, a volunteer job in Spain for a week, then to see my friend in Austria at her home for the first time since she moved back from China.  And she is German.  

And odd aspect was that I can't begin to say what it felt like to go travelling so spontaneously. I have never had the finances to be able to do such a thing, but with the year and half of back pay, I finally could!  I also got a new car, a 2013 Huyndai Elantra, which is the first new car I've had since a Dodge Colt my second year in the service! It replaced my '98 Corolla which I was able to give to a dear sister friend whose  previous car got squished by Hurricain Ike. And I got a new 27" touchscreen computer, which upgrades from my 8 year old computer.  I've had a growing list of things that needed replacing and this year, turned out to be the one!  And my 12 year old camera also got upgraded.  The new one has this awesome wifi thing on it that when I have an app on my phone synced with it, it will automatically send those pics from the fancyass camera to my phone!  Sooo awesome!  I feel like I've been living in the 90's and am just emerging in to the 2000's.   All along the way Paladin was so useful in helping me do research and evaluating and suggesting.  He has screen envy now.. and I've told him he's welcome to use my 'puter while I'm gone. And he likes my car too. I made sure he liked it and I got it in colors I know he likes too cuz when we go places, he drives and our county here in TX gives disabled veteran like me a free pass on the toll roads, so it makes sense to take my car when we go on them.  Never would have dreamed of that in my poor slightly beat up Corolla though.  But he likes the new silver car.  

Grins.. So, it has been a huge whirlwind since I wrote in Jan, but a wonderful one.  This eve, pet and I puttered together in the garden and we are both very happy with how its come out so far.   We have more plans to upgrade things here over the next 3 years, and then we move up to a bigger piece of land - according to pets 5 year plan.  I love a man with a plan!  And Paladin just gets better as the years role by.  In a few months, it will be 7 years since he was collared.  He is in the midst of a huge roll out of a program for his work that was causing him a lot of stress. Before his trip to see his family, I commanded him that he was NOT allowed to think about work until the weekend that he was coming back.  A few days into his trip, he sent me a txt thanking me for that Command.  (smile)  And on Wed, we had a D/s couple over and they arrived just as he was being reprimanded for tickling me by having to stand still so I could lick his nose.  That made them both break out laughing as pet wiped his wet nose off.  This week will be pretty hectic for him and I'll keep things running smoothly for him while he works hard to give us an ever better life, and he also plots his ever upwards career path.    And so we go on... and life is grand.  I love being 'retired' as my therapist call it. I love having this home with pet and the life we have.  

I bid well wishes to all out there in the blogesphere.  Sorry I've been gone for a few crazy months... but I'm back for a few before I go off again.

That's my catch up for now, got PTSD group at the local Vet Center in the morning so I best run along.  It's not just for me anymore, we get new ladies in, and seeing that haunted look as they open their closet doors... well. being there to welcome then out is a huge part of my therapy.  We had a new lady, Army show up last time. Was only supposed to stay for 15 mins, but she stayed the whole two hours... and cried along with us... I hope she comes back tomorrow.

Anyway.. best to all,


Sue said...

I am just glad to see you again :-) Happy travels!

Mystress said...

Thanks so much Swan! Nice to be home for sure. And for what its worth, I do have good, supportive wishes for your other 1/3rds as well.
Hugs to all of you as like us, you continue to evolve.