It's been a hectic 3 months. I was granted my 100% for unemployability from the VA for PTSD due to Military Sexual Trauma. I have 70% disability for it, but am considered (essentially) too crazy to work. Yup... afraid that is true. The insomnia and especially the rage at the military that fights to hang onto it's 'good 'ol boy' way of doing things while young men and women are still being raped and victim shamed. Errr.. right.. as you can see, that train quickly leaves the station and I'm less likely to use a decent filter then not.
Right... after 35 years of burying it and (not) 'dealing' with it to survive, it seems to erupt like a volcano sometimes. I still go to group every other week. I am working on dealing with the overwhelming 'emotionality' that sweeps over me sometimes.
Pet... has been as always, fantastically amazing. March 15 was two years now since we moved from CA to TX and went 24/7. I thought about that this eve as I was out watering the herb garden and his voice came through the screen window "Mystress, may I use the restroom?" (smile) "Yes pet". If our neighbor had been outside, she would have easily heard it.
And odd aspect was that I can't begin to say what it felt like to go travelling so spontaneously. I have never had the finances to be able to do such a thing, but with the year and half of back pay, I finally could! I also got a new car, a 2013 Huyndai Elantra, which is the first new car I've had since a Dodge Colt my second year in the service! It replaced my '98 Corolla which I was able to give to a dear sister friend whose previous car got squished by Hurricain Ike. And I got a new 27" touchscreen computer, which upgrades from my 8 year old computer. I've had a growing list of things that needed replacing and this year, turned out to be the one! And my 12 year old camera also got upgraded. The new one has this awesome wifi thing on it that when I have an app on my phone synced with it, it will automatically send those pics from the fancyass camera to my phone! Sooo awesome! I feel like I've been living in the 90's and am just emerging in to the 2000's. All along the way Paladin was so useful in helping me do research and evaluating and suggesting. He has screen envy now.. and I've told him he's welcome to use my 'puter while I'm gone. And he likes my car too. I made sure he liked it and I got it in colors I know he likes too cuz when we go places, he drives and our county here in TX gives disabled veteran like me a free pass on the toll roads, so it makes sense to take my car when we go on them. Never would have dreamed of that in my poor slightly beat up Corolla though. But he likes the new silver car.
Grins.. So, it has been a huge whirlwind since I wrote in Jan, but a wonderful one. This eve, pet and I puttered together in the garden and we are both very happy with how its come out so far. We have more plans to upgrade things here over the next 3 years, and then we move up to a bigger piece of land - according to pets 5 year plan. I love a man with a plan! And Paladin just gets better as the years role by. In a few months, it will be 7 years since he was collared. He is in the midst of a huge roll out of a program for his work that was causing him a lot of stress. Before his trip to see his family, I commanded him that he was NOT allowed to think about work until the weekend that he was coming back. A few days into his trip, he sent me a txt thanking me for that Command. (smile) And on Wed, we had a D/s couple over and they arrived just as he was being reprimanded for tickling me by having to stand still so I could lick his nose. That made them both break out laughing as pet wiped his wet nose off.
I bid well wishes to all out there in the blogesphere. Sorry I've been gone for a few crazy months... but I'm back for a few before I go off again.
That's my catch up for now, got PTSD group at the local Vet Center in the morning so I best run along. It's not just for me anymore, we get new ladies in, and seeing that haunted look as they open their closet doors... well. being there to welcome then out is a huge part of my therapy. We had a new lady, Army show up last time. Was only supposed to stay for 15 mins, but she stayed the whole two hours... and cried along with us... I hope she comes back tomorrow.
Anyway.. best to all,