Six Years..

So,  this past Sat was six years since I collared Paladin. 

It was on a Fri night... 

He had answered my ad and we had written back and forth, and then spent a weekend chatting for hours on yahoo. We met in person the next Wed. I knew the moment that he walked in, that he was all he had seemed to be online. He had come from work at the corporate office and so was dressed in slacks, blue shirt and blue tie. Drool worthy. I mean.. really. I had never been with anyone younger then myself since high school. Yet his seriousness made him seem years older then was. It was a amazing meeting that has led to an amazing life with him.

Here is what he wrote about our meeting:
First Meeting

And his
Collaring:

We were very happy we get to spend the with good friends and family! Pet's bday is on was on Mon, so  he got his bday spankings at the party on Sat. 0.0 He said 'but, it's not my birthday Mystress'. Humph... Seemed appropriate to ME anyways.  The ladies enjoyed the lovely beefcake that is pets rugby ass.  Yummm!   A great cake was gotten for us, and also for the birthday guests, of which there were two.

Next week our friends from Germany arrive for a couple of weeks... we'll miss the come back party we had been looking for, but  we did have a good time Sat night with friends on their X cross.  And pets new restraints that have bars to hold on to work really well.  The other two subs that went up on the cross used them also and really liked them. :-)  

Best to all,
Mystress

Spite Trolls

Good evening to all our friends. Its been ages since we posted and for very good reasons :) Living 24/7 together is amazing and we get so distracted so fast with one another, a month can pass in a blink of an eye. Those that have the same situation as us must surely agree that we are a fortunate bunch. We hope and pray that all our friends and guests looking for something similar find what they so desire for its truly a blessing to live it.

So my Mystress filled you guys in on our little Spite Troll...what a fucktard. Why would you randomly visit a site and feel that because you don't agree with a post, you get to spew hate and malice....well Mr or Miss Brazil...go jump off a bridge. We don't judge others and don't expect to be judged in return. If your looking for attention go someplace else and be the internet tough guy you seem to want to be. Thankfully this has been our first truly negative comment and we have decided to let it be water off our backs. Thanks to our friends who agreed with us ad concurring that this ass munch is doing it purely for attention..well your 5 minutes are over and on we move.....

Its Memorial weekend and thanks to our service men and woman for your service. We will remember all your sacrifices and honor your service. Along with our gratitude comes a wonderfully busy weekend...gala dinners, BBQ's shooting and if we can cram it in..some lazy time and relaxation :) Mystress is so so right in that we are way more busy here in TX than in CA. Why...we aren't really sure...likely its the open welcome all our new friends have extended. We happily accept the invitations and shall stay the busy happy couple :)

Well friends...it was good to write again..i am sure we will be paying more attention to our blog :) We apologize for our absence but its for a very good reason :) Thanks again for all the great comments and be well and happy to all.

Paladin

Sorry, I'm not Dead...

And life is most excellent.  

Late last night I deleted a nasty gram comment here from someone who said called me nasty names and said they hoped I was dead.   Sorry to disappoint you but, nope, not even close.  You can blame it on Paladin.  He made me promise not to commit suicide and I won't. :-)  

I hadn't realized how much time had passed since we last posted here.  Seems living the perfect life together is even better then we thought.  How awful aye nasty A?   We have been pretty busy with company and life. 

 It is interesting that I hadn't come here in a while, popped in early last night thinking I needed to come do a post, and then when the pain in my jaw wakes me up in the middle of the night and I check my email, and there is the nasty gram.   Really? WTF prompted that spewing of meanness?   I forward it to Paladin this morning and he says "What an ass thing to do. That's someone just being a fucktard." And he's exactly right.  Especially anonymous.  I am sorry for whoever is feeling so bad about themselves that they have to come vomit on a blog that's been quiet for the past few months.  

 Sooo.. to catch up.  The divorce from my ex was final at the end of Jan.  He and his girlfriend came for a two week visit in Feb and we had a party in their honor that was awesome.  We have our very own X cross and spanking bench in our upstairs 'medieval' room. It was a blast.  We have a House on Fet now, which allows us to invite our fave and most trusted friends over to party and play. We've been to a wonderful kinky camping trip with bunches of other folks running nekkid and half dressed everywhere.  My best friend from elementary school came to visit for 5 days, and we had a blast together.  She had not had the chance to meet Paladin before, but she likes him and says she so glad to see me living so well.  It was the very first time in ages that I hoped whoever I was with wouldn't embarrass me by being an asshat in front of her.  Paladin is never ever an asshat. And good for him, and I!

I have been doing posting on my other blog as the VA has had me busy with my MST group and psyc.  We did a showing of THE INVISIBLE WAR  at the Vet Center and I was the guest speaker. It was one of the hardest things I've done, but I was soooo blessed in that I had the most support there. I had five folks who love me come out and sit through it.  One of them, dearest sweet D was hit particularly hard by it.  She knew it was going to be a difficult movie to see, but she was not prepared for some of the brutality of MST and how victims are treated afterwards if they come forward.  I was touched beyond words that my family of choice all turned out to see the movie and support me as speaker.   

From that showing, I made an awesome new veteran friend and she is guiding me to be an advocate to help other veterans in our boat.  I am still waiting for the decision on my unemployability.  My teeth are really messed up and one of my biggest triggers.  Since I lost most of the teeth on the left side of my mouth, my teeth have shifted that way and now I have (whats to me) a huge ugly gap between my teeth that's only getting worse. My new veteran friend says not to worry too much as the VA will fix it all when I get the 100%.  I sure hope so.   And before more teeth fall out.  

 I also got an awesome civilian therapist who has helped me bunches.  I can make appts with her via the internet and I can't begin to say how great she is.  She is also kink friendly and we have talked about my journey from sub to Domme.  Yes, I can see why being a Domme makes me more comfortable, but I also see what I was re-creating for myself as a sub, but in a safe and consensual environment, which actually helped me deal with my MST past. 

I lost my really great psyc at the VA, she was a very proactive to try and help me get as many things done as the VA could to help make up for the terrible things that happend... she  got replaced by a pod person... who is trying not to be one quite so much, but whom I don't trust.  They didn't tell me Dr. H was being replaced and the day I went for my apt and this other person was there.. I just sat and cried for the whole half hour I was there.  The doc changed up my meds and said she didn't need to hear my story, I just needed to take the pills.  *nods* Pod person indeed. Losing her did inspire me to hunt out a civilian therapist who the VA couldn't control.  Found her via Give an Hour a organization of professionals who donate time to veterans.  Awesome!  Found two lady therapists in my area, and picked the one closest that I liked on first meeting.  Been such a huge relief to be able to see here when I need to. 

What else.... Paladin will be posting later this evening... I've told him to a few times and he's forgotten.  He best do it tonight or else..  I mean really.  :-)

I am using time today to catch up on the blogs we are linked to.  I have been very busy with two other causes near and dear to my heart, but this Blog... still has meaning too.  It is different living with Paladin full time far away from our families.  We are certainly busier socially here then we ever ever work in CA. Whew.. we have to turn down things to have some time alone to recoup.

Tomorrow we are going shooting together, then a gala hosted by one of the local Fet groups.  Mon we go spend Memorial Day with our new veteran friend for bbq and swim.

And on that note, pet is home early for the holiday... weeeee!

Best to all,
Mystress

   . 

An Anniversay Reflection

This is my FetLife journal Entry for today.

 

I started this journal out as a noting of our new life together in Texas. So it seems highly appropriate to do a entry reflecting back on our time here to date.

I first learned about FetLife from a sub friend in mid Dec of 2011. When she found out I was moving here, she immediately said I had to join here to get to know folks where I was going. I was totally clueless. I didn't really use social media. In Dec of 2011, there was the one Happy Birthday post on my Facebook page when that same friend left a post for that year. She noted I didn't post to Facebook. My cousins and friends, on my good-by tour made me promise to use it to keep in touch, and so I have. And I've used Fet to make new friends and family.

Last year at this very time, Paladin and I were here on a short house hunting expedition. We had only a few days to find the as close to perfect home as we could. It had only been a couple of weeks since both our worlds had turned upside down and we were faced with a sudden relocation from our separate homes, to together here. First the recommendation for my VA treatment and then two days later, his work's relocation both turned out to be based just north of Houston. What are the odds??? So we left behind all our family and friends on our adventure into this new life together.

I am sitting in the house that was our fave on the internet first time we saw it in mid Dec. We loved it both on the net and in person way above any other, and made a (obviously successful) bid on it before we left. And oh my gosh, there were some real misrepresentations going on with some of those internet house pictures. And we love our house, we really really do! And we've loved sharing it with our friends and family!

So much has happened in our lives since that trip. And it's all gone pretty much according to plan. Well, except for kitty Leo making an escape that first morning of the drive out and we got delayed chasing him through neighbors yards for an hour. But we got him safely back in his cage. God bless my dear Lady Dawn, who agreed to ride with me from CA to TX... with a cat in the back seat that she was quite allergic too. She ate allergy pills all the way. She is coming for a visit at the end of Feb through mid March. Yummy!

Other then that... every thing has been amazingly perfect. Paladin has a strength in making long term goals and plans - and then making them come about. I know I am well blessed to have a man such as he in my life. All my Lady friends in Sac adored him. In fact, I don't think I've met one person who doesn't like my Paladin. And more then one likes to drool a bit sometimes. Including me. Love them rugby thighs!

Back in California (no longer home) We had several sub and Domme friends and participated in the Sacramento Domme group, it was a much smaller group then SAF. Perhaps total about 20 Dommes and subs. There was only one small room that was the 'dungeon,' and we never got a chance to play in it because of A) the long lines. B) We tended to be much more private.
But they did have some fun parties and demos there too.

On the 31st of this month, my divorce from my soon to be ex will be final. (Thanks to all the helped out in my legal thread, that pointed me to where to git er done!) I got the signed papers back last week. Whoot whoot! And then, on the 6th of Feb, he and his sub fly in to visit for two weeks. This visit is both to give them a bit of a vacation and as thanks to them for cleaning out the duplex we lived in after I had my breakdown and couldn't manage to do it myself. Bless their hearts, they got it packed and emptied and cleaned. And we all know what a lot of work that can be. Meanwhile, I had been ensconced at Paladins and in some pretty intense therapy and being told to avoid stress. Paladin was quite avid about my not being stressed either. He was in full protector mode. So they really, really stepped up and took care of it all and we both deeply appreciate it. Funny, it was my ex Master M who helped Paladin move my stuff from my duplex to Paladin's house in his truck. Since Paladin lived only 6 miles from me at the time of the move it was easy to move my stuff from my place to his as his work was paying to have all of Paladin's belongings moved to TX. I mean.. seriously.. can it get any more convenient????.

And Life with Paladin... is .. idyllic. He is really very easy going and a lot of fun to live with. We kept our days to some degree of my Mon's and Tue's when we specifically do whatever I want, and his online computer nights of Tue and Thur when he plays his online games with his friends back in California. Paladin likes schedules routine and so do I. My ex God bless him.. is highly .. eccentric. Much like Eisenstein, brilliant but little common sense sometimes, and less then none financially. And he is perpetually late. And loses things.. gets locked out of places and runs out of gas. On and on.. absent minded has his pic next to it. Paladin on the other hand, is both logical and spiritual and well grounded. It was he who rescued my ex from many foibles over the years. We were an interesting triad. But now.. things have evolved as it feels they should for all of I. We are all still good friends and I'm glad of it. My ex says he always meant to give me to Paladin... he just didn't know when. But it was certainly the right time when it came.

Paladin and I have both loved Texas since that first visit here, and only more so since then. Everyone has been sooo wonderful and welcoming to us. There were many things we didn't get a chance to do last year as we were just settling in that we hope to do this year.

This is also a thank you to all the wonderful friends and family we now have here! We expect 2013 to be the best ever!

Everything about this move, this place and life with Paladin is just simply amazing!!

Best to all out there!

Mystress

In My Awesome Absence

Good Evening All....

Yes its me...no i haven't fallen off the face of the earth. Its been sometime since my last post mainly because i have been distracted by the lovely wonderful fantastic 24/7 life with my dear Mystress.

Its been a year almost to the date since the first time we came and saw our new home. 365 days of pure bliss and magical times. From the journey out here to the picking furniture to the waking up each morning with Mystress...pure wonder i must say.

Last night we went to a party at our new group of friends  Mystress even stretched her Mystress bones slapping me up on the chains, stripping me down, and using every one of her floggers, crops, whips, and even fake flowers to flog me into sub space. Its so wonderful to go to sub space with Mystress. Her style isn't like the others. She prefers not to beat her slaves into sub space but to rather, through blindfolded sense, tease and overload ones senses until there is no choice other than to enter sub space. Once there, Mystress keeps the riding going alternating toys and feelings. From hard and thudy, to light and stingy. All the toys serving a purpose. To remind one who is boss, to keep one in space, and to enjoy the ride with ones Mystress. Trusting her explicitly while so exposed and vulnerable is now second nature to me now. I am sure this wont be the last time Mystress chooses to exhibit her loving slave.

We now end our January and await the next set of visitors. Mystress's old Knight and his sub come in February and a fellow Lady of the house comes after that. We shall have a full and busy house but we look forward to sharing our new home with all our guests. We plan to do a bunch of vanilla stuff but Mystress is also putting together a very interesting party to treat our guests too. We hope they shall enjoy the show we have planned.

With all my love.

Paladin

Changing Mantra

Greetings all,

Many know that Paladin has had a mantra since I've had him.  But I don't think that I posted about when we relocated, Paladin gave me a mantra as well to help with my readjustment to life here.  He did it because he is dedicated to looking after me, especially  my mental well being.

And it goes "Mystress is Number One and lives in a Crazy Free Zone" He will normally ask for my mantra when he knows I am feeling overwhelmed or something has triggered me as a means of grounding me and making me remember how safe I am now and what a wonderful life we have together now. 

If I'm not doing too great, I tend to dodge the answers as first.  The way it plays out is that Paladin will say "Mystress is what?"  If I'm doing well, I can say "Number One" right off.  Other times, I may slide sideways and say something like "Pet's Owner'  and he'll smile and repeat the question.  And then I may say "In love with Pet". Sometimes I'll come right out and say "Not doing well" or "a mess".  He is nothing if not persistent gently holding me and repeating the question until I answer "Number One".  Then he'll ask "And lives in a ?"  Again, my answer will depend on my mood.  If I'm off, I'll dodge that too.  Worst answer in my own mind is "A world of nightmares" or "Really fucked up".  Best is "In a Crazy Free Zone".    

About a week ago, when I was stressing over some Christmas details in regards to the family visit he decided to add something else to my mantra.  And that is something that I have honestly never even thought to have as an aspect of my life.  And that is "Carefree". I mean seriously, how many folks do incorporate that as an aspect of their life??  Carefree.  Really pet?  I know what it means, but I decided to go and look it up for the official definition.
  
care·free    
 Adjective
Free from anxiety or responsibility.

Synonyms

careless - happy-go-lucky - light-hearted - jaunty

Jaunty huh?  Don't know about that one, but I sure like the light-hearted part, as well as the 'free from anxiety or responsibility'.  Seeing as I have always been the responsible one.. to let go in that regards and let Paladin be the responsible one is something new to adjust to.  My ex, God love him, was sooo flightly that coming out of 12 years with him still as sane as I am was a miracle.  Which is why of course Paladin in his brilliantness has chosen the very words that he has.  He was there, he KNOWS what it was like. Especially the last 5 years.  >insert eye roll here< 

 So my new mantra in it's entirety now is: "Mystress is Number One and lives in a Crazy and Care Free Zone".  It's taken some adjusting to I have to say.  And I am still marveling at Paladin's choice in building my mantra for me for my well being.  Carefree.... Wow.. Funny that I have to work at it.  We've been here for almost 9 months, and it still seems like an amazing dream.   But its not. It's wonderfully real!  Each day, is better then the next.  This new life,  living full time with my amazing Paladin is better then I might even have thought to dream of.  

On another fun sort of note, we went to my Vet Center's Christmas party last nite, and several of the other ladies from my MST group where there.  Two of them in particular had their eyes light up when they saw Paladin, who sat with his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder and arm lightly.  He could tell the energy in the room had me a bit stressed and he was doing his best to comfort me.  There was one very uncomfortable moment with a male veteran trying to find out what "war" I'd been in, and when I said "The Invisible War" he said it didn't exist.  Wrong monkey fucker! (to use a term I heard Paladin call his friends last nite) I was there, I was wounded and almost killed in it. Your just either ignorant or one of 'them'.  In fact, the documentary is now on the Oscar's short list!


http://invisiblewarmovie.com

 Anyways.. back to the fun parts. The two ladies were mouthing to me how cute he is, and how affectionate.  Made me grin inside and outside.  Oh whoo wee.. if they had any inkling of the truth.  Like how I'd just had him cleaning the kitchen naked in spite of some mild grumbling the other day.   My counselor was there too, and it was obvious she was quite impressed with him as well. When they shook hands she acted lightly like his obvious strength had crushed her hand and he rapidly apologized, to which she laughed and said she was joking. But I patted him on his wide and muscular chest and said "It's that rugby Captain thing" to which she nodded and appreciated Paladin's pure hunkiness quite openly.  In group, I call him my Hero.. as he is.  And it was nice to see that the ladies in my group can see how wonderful and sweet he is. And as we all know here.. that's just the tip of his considerable ice burg. *winks*

So, with that. I'm off to go do some more Christmas arts and crafts. I am enjoying putting together my own wreath and making gold and silver pine cone decorations from the cones we collected during our Thanksgiving camping trip. 

I hope all are having a nice holiday season,
Mystress  

The Flip Side of the Do-Me sub

Hello friends and readers,

 In the realm of do-me subs, Paladin is about as far from that as can be.  He is truly a most unusual man. 

After I wrote the previous piece for both education and venting, it made me reflect and appreciate about my remarkable Paladin. And those differences seem quite notable and worthy of comment. I wrote this short piece for Fet and decided that it dovetails with the previous post.

In the five years that I've had Paladin, he has never once asked me to either touch him or make him cum. He's whined and begged when tied up and teased, even when I am stroking him... but not for that. He begs and pleads.... to be able to touch Me. Me. Not himself or any part of himself. He's never once asked for anything for himself. Amazing to be sure! He desires above all.. to please me. It's actually pretty cute when he gets to whining "but I want to touch Mystress...." few would ever think that was really Paladin doing all that pleading and begging, but he does. *big grin* and I stay just beyond his bound but grasping fingertips. And then, when I do lay next to him, release him from his bindings, and give him the magical words of 'at ease' he always rolls over and gathers me close to him making the sweetest little stallion noises as he hugs and nuzzles me begging to give me pleasures.
Yup.... not a bone of 'do-me' in the boy.
Smiles
It's good to be Queen to a pet such as he!

Hope all are enjoying the season,
Mystress