Countdown

Its after 10pm and i am already waiting patiently till i see my dear Mystress tomorrow. The rains are scheduled to be here and we will be spending the night together listening to the rain, i can hardly wait.

I hope Mystress sleeps well tonight for tomorrow is another wonderful night together.

Thank you in advance for providing dinner tomorrow.

Big kisses dear Mystress.

Paladin

Evening of evolution

Last night my Mystress was with me and as always the evening was magical. We performed some of our wonderful rituals such as a nice dinner, catching up on survivor and always wonderful conversations.

What was different this evening, at least i hope Mystress agrees, was that i was truly giving into my submission. I tried to do all that i could to make Mystress feel that i was truly submissive. We had a talk about this night before and i truly did take it to heart and will always try to deliever the same level of submission had commented on in the past. So the first thing to evolve was that i truly tried to change my demeanor and be the most submissive i could. I hope it was enough for my dear sweet Mystress.

The second item to evolve was my mantra. Mystress had asked for a heart felt delivery of my mantra with enhancements if i could. So i evolved tmy mantra and delivered it with all the feeling i could. It seemed to touch Mystress and again i hope it was what Mystress was looking for and that it brought Mystress pleasure to hear it.

The new mantra read as follows

"I am your loving protector, your Paladin, and i bid my deepest obedience and submission to you, my dear sweet Mystress, guardian of my loving heart."

The changes are subtle but to Mystress and I they have a much deeper meaning.

Tonight i am off to family and i hope Mystress enjoys her evening too.

Paladin.

A wonderful Chat

Whats becoming the wonderful norm, Mystress and i had a great chat this evening. Much more upbeat and full of laughter since the preasures of the last weeks have subsided. We had a great time...chatting back and forth, comparing sex toys....opps did i say that out loud :).

Mystress and i have been having chats of late for what we can do to make our wonderful pleasureable times even more intense. Some toys and items of pleasure giving and receiving have been discussed...some have amazed us together and others have been ..can we say shoking. The discussions purpose is to enhance what we have and to make it more intense. Mystress has given me a few assignments regarding this topic which i shall do for Mystress.

We also discussed my submissiveness and my levels of submission. When Mystress and I started this journey i admit my submission was only surface deep. I knew i wanted to experience it and give into it but my walls were always up as Mystress has said before. Over the months Mystress has found very memorable and at times difficult means to get around these walls. I feel Mystress and i are now to a point that for Mystress there are no walls.

Others may see some walls pointed a them but to those close to Mystress and I, please be patient for in time i hope to open up all my doors to all Mystress's close friends.

So Mystress has asked me to be aware of my submissive levels and from now on to have these levels at the front of my mind. For I want to always give Mystress the deepest level of my submission that i can. Mystress so deserves this especially considering how much Mystress has changed. So much stronger in her control and dominance...and someone Mystress should be proud of for i am very proud of Mystress and its an honor to be Mystress's pet.

A wonderful side affect of Mystress dominance is her excitement. Mystress has mentioned how aroused it makes her and i can attest to that fact first hand. Mystress is so receptive to pleasure that i shall always try and be the most submissive i can be so that Mystress can draw as much pleasure that she can from her experiences.

Thank you again Mystress, from the bottom of my heart for choosing me as your submissive.

With hightened anticipation for tomorrow and the pleasure awaiting you.

Paladin

Pleasure and submission

pet sent Me a text today.. saying that he hopes
I'll be aroused when I arrive to see him tomorrow.
The response jumped into My head..
"My arousal will be in proportion to your submission."

After I sent the text, I pondered how deeply I felt that
answer. As some readers know, I started out on
this journey as a submissive, and yet, had a yearning
to develop what I knew were sometimes very dominant
feelings, or thoughts of what I would do if I had My own
submissive. Some of the things I would do.. what I would want. How things would be. I like to explore.. and expand things.. use My imagination and take things to new levels.

So I knew that I wanted an open minded submissive,
someone with whom this journey of exploration
would be exciting, pleasurable, and enlightening.

Owning pet has been a very interesting and certainly enjoyable experience. There is much about him that is unexpected.. and much that is exactly as I would have not only predicted, but fully expected. The longer we are together the stronger and more Dominant I feel, and the more I find I enjoy it when he is truly submissive to Me.

What has surprised Me, is how aroused I DO get
when I think of him being submissive to Me.
There are times when he is more so then others.
There are times when his energy is deeply submissive,
and yet.. there are other times when he is not.
As pet himself has expressed... he has a stubborn side
and sometimes I have difficulties with Myself when
I run up against it. I get shaken... and I sometimes fold
up like a weak tent. Sometimes I know how I feel,
but other times I am wavery about it. Perhaps it is the
Libra side of Me that tries to weigh everything
and be fair. What I forget in all this...
is that My being his owner.. is NOT about
being fair. It's about being true to Myself...
and being in charge of pet.
It's supposed to be about what I want,
and how I feel, and where I want to take us.
And that's not always with pet's approval.

There times when I know he is not pleased about things,
and I can pick up his feelings (as he mentioned in an
entry not long ago) those feelings have a strong
impact on Me as I am very sensitive to them.
And I have to be careful that I'm not
too easily swayed. Sometimes they hit Me
like a brick wall, and I find Myself very disconcerted.
I've read of other Dommes who also
run into this, and they all have different ways of
handling it. I am still working on My own ways.
Tuff, but not cruel. Strong, but not brutal.
I take much of pet's feelings into consideration
and do find Myself avoiding things I might say
or do if I was not quite so sensitive about it.
And I wonder.. how good is that?

For, as pet has pointed out in the past how I have
taken us places he did not want to go,
against his will, and yet, in the end,
he found it enjoyable and rewarding.
Times when I have been tough
even when he didn't seem to want it,
he has generally thanked Me for it.

I have to try and remember this..
and so..
does pet.

Because.... in the end..
I find it the most arousing
when pet allows himself to be truly submissive,
even when I ask the hardest things of him.
There is not alot of difficult things I have asked of him.
But when I do ask or say something that I knew
he is not happy about, and yet, he subjugates that
part of himself, and throws himself willingly into
his submission, trusting Me.. and allowing Me
to be be fully in charge and express Myself,
then that is when I find him the most arousing
and certainly, the most pleasing.

I hope that this entry
will give him something to think about
and a goal for him to reach for ever more
in the future. To know, that the greatest
reward comes from the most difficult
submission. I've not yet asked him for more...
but.. it does seem a natural evolution
of where we are going. He knows he
has a private assignment and that
will be one of the things that takes him
deeper into his submission, and I also expect
both of us into pleasure.

Best to all,
Mystress

Chance Shining on Us?

Chatting with my Mystress she has brought it to our attention that its possibly going to be raining both on Tues and thursday. Mystress and I only hope this holds for we have both been waiting patiently for the rains to come.

Mystress and I love the raina nd we have been looking forward to laying in bed with the rains falling and cuddling up together. What else could be better than to give Mystress pleasure while the rains sing their songs for us...mmm lovely.

Lets us hope the rains hold for these days so that Mystrss and I get to experience such a lovely experience not just once this coming week.

Paladin

Future plans made.

Mystress knight has asked when we shall be able to spend the night in each others company again since it has been sometime. So we have set a date for the weekend after next. It shall be good to spend time like we have in the past. We shall be in discussion as to the details for the weekend and ensure that it will be another wonderful memorable one for all.

Before this weekend however Mystress and I have plenty of nights together each as special as the last. We shall use this time to once again reinforce our bond and to build on what we have. It was a rough week this week past but now with a new month starting the busy weeks are again postponed for another month.

Looking forward to the time with my Mystress...starting the countdown.

Paladin

A day later and much thanks.

24 hours ago this time and i was still at work...13 hour days are no fun and not easy for sure. The reason i managed to get through the day and night was because i was well rested. Why was i so well rested...well because i went to be early Thursday and got better sleep than the nights before.

Now this was only possible because of Mystrss's sacrifice on Thursday and once again i thank Mystress for this. Without the extra sleep i am not sure how i would of managed the day. So once again Mystress, thank you so much for the sacrifice and i will not forget it.

To those that have a caring Mystress like myself, be thankful for having such a special Mystress.

Paladin