My Other Blog

Good day Friends,

Part of the reason I am doing this is due to the Heron Clan.  I am sooo impressed by Tom and swan over there, writing their hearts out about their evolution from one not-so-good-place to a really, really awesome place now.  So I tilt my hat to them!

Those of you that have been following along, know that Paladin and I recently relocated to Tx together.  I have written here a few times about my breakdown at the VA.  A intense in-patient program in the Houston area was suggested by my Vet Center doc.  I did not want to go into it without finding out more about it. I am more then a little wiggy feeling about being locked up any place that's military again.  After meeting some of the other veterans that have gone through this intense program here, it has mixed to negative reviews.  Each lady told me it didn't work well for them and that there were problems at the VA as well.  But bless their hearts, they'd go on to say 'but maybe it's just me, it wasn't right for me.' But their eyes don't have much conviction when they follow it up with "but it might work for you". Yeah um, about that.. not so much I'm thinking.  

Anyways.. so my new doc at the Vet Center here has been keeping me pretty busy. She sees me every other week and then I have MST group every other week. And she gives me both reading and homework to do at every session.  She's giving me some great tools to cope.  And I'm glad, cuz when Paladin says or does something that's a 'trigger'.. it upsets us both.. I feel bad that I react, and he feels bad he did it.  Back when I had all these secrets stuffed into the closet, I could block it out and hide from it.  But now, that I'm supposed to be 'working' to get better, it's all around me all the time.  Soo. Doc told me to do a journal, and I started a hen scratched pen and paper one, but then, I stumbled in my wanderings and research across a blog called Enemy in the Wire and as a blogger, they inspired me.  (I'm not including the link cuz I don't want them to trace me back to here, but I do have them linked on my other blog)  So I decided to do most of my journaling online as well as adding some resources.  I'm finding it very healing.

Now, a quick note about Paladin... no, he's not bad.. he's just mischievous.. and I see why his family name is 'pest'.  And I do adore him so.  But seriously, I don't know where I'd be without him.  He is soooo amazing in his support and encouragement. And he's had to hear some pretty ugly stuff through all this.  I try not to seem too immersed in what I am doing, but he says that I need to be to get better.  Doc told me last week she's impressed with how seriously I am taking all this.. well heck yeah.. I do want some sanity back.  The other ladies in the MST group are so great.. and one of them, L (whose the oldest of us, been 38 years since she was attacked) and she's having a really really rough time.  She came home from group yesterday to find her adult daughter had torn up all her MST books and work book from Doc and tossed it in the fireplace. She sent me an email and we are both on Facebook now, and chatting.. and it feels good to be able to help someone else a bit with encouragement.  She likes my new blog a lot as do the other Ladies of the Group. 

Paladin and I did go to a  Fet life toga party last sat and had a blast!  Saw the most AMAZING scene... we were mesmerized.. will have him write about it soon. *grins* sometimes the boy needs help with subject matter.. 

Anyways.. I am adding my new blog to my blog roll here.. kinda like The Heron Clan's blog they did as they did their bariatric surgeries, and even now, with their soul retrievals. So without adieu, here it is, starting at the beginning.

One Sailors Military Sexual Trauma Recovery Blog and Journal: First Post:

 Best to all, 

Mystress