Updates and Winter Song

Dear Friends,

Paladin writes of the updates to things, and indeed things are moving along swimmingly! My furniture is now safely tucked away here at his place and I'll be bringing over more boxes of things as I get them packed. And yes, I was in something of a packing frenzy over the weekend. But I got my closet and dresser and bathroom all sorted, packed and emptied out, except for a big suitcase on the floor with my pile of clothes till we move on it. Got everything else plus shoes and boots in one big box! So I am getting rid of 2/3 of my things. All going to donation.

And it seems.. I'll have more time for packing. On Fri nite, after my post, my Knight came by to get some things. He saw how shaken I was after my work day and suggested very strongly that I call and quit in the morning. He didn't want me to see that client even one more time. He said he was sure that my doc would agree so I called and got the same secretary that I had spoken to on Fri. She was very very kind and sympathetic. She knows I'm going through therapy at the Vet Center for the PTSD. She said she could see on Fri how traumatized I was and that it was very understandable. She said I was welcome back anytime, but I'm thinking I'm not gonna be back here in CA after the next couple months. Besides...I can feel I'm just not up to working right now. Can't seem to focus and don't want to mess something up.

I wrote my doc about it last nite, and got a letter back from her this morning (God bless email with ones amazing therapist!) saying yes, my quitting was the right thing and that of course that sort of poking and unpredictable behavior would trigger my PTSD. I have an appointment with her tomorrow. A bit nervous about it, but I do trust her and now, she's read my official statement.. the worst of the worst.. and she says she hopes to be able to help me deal with it all. God.... i do hope so too.

Today I got some good things done, big important ones. Well.. to me anyways. I got the newspaper subscription cancelled, the ins on my old car I gave to my sister in law cancelled. and best of all, got signed up for health care at the VA finally! A big cheer for that!!! Seems I'm broke enough to be a 'level 5'.. which means all I'll have to cover out of pocked will be $8 for 30 days of any pill. I can handle that. It will be 2-4 weeks before I get my first appointment with a primary doctor. A bit longer for me because I only want a lady doc. I am willing to wait.

Now.. the last part of tonight's subject line...

This is a Chris Rhea song that I've loved a long time. Back in Aug of '07 Paladin and I were going away to a cabin for our first weekend alone. And I had made a CD of some of my fave songs that I felt related to us. I found the CD while sorting through them (Yaaay!) This song then and even more.. soooo much more.. now epitomizes how he feels to me. Paladin even looks a tad bit like Chris in this with the short hair, if he had brilliant blue eyes.. and was clean shaven. *smiles* But listen to the feel of Chris's voice in this song... it is that FEEL..if being cherished and protected has a 'sound' then for me, this song is it. This is how my beloved Paladin makes me feel. The feeling of safety and protection that he gives to me are.. well. priceless.

Here are the lyrics for the song...

Winter song

It's a cold, cold feeling
On a real lazy wind
That blows all the way trough you
And the autumn begins

How it cuts like a sabre
How it chills to the bone
You've got cold feet and fingers
And you're thinking of home

If I put my arms around you
Turn you in from the storm
From your autumn through winter
Darling I'll keep you warm

My overcoat's empty
Deep, wide and long
I got room for you darling
till your winter, till your winter has gone
----

....till your winter has gone....
and that indeed is how this move with Paladin feels.
like moving into the depths of his deep, wide and long overcoat of protection. and Paladin.. is quite enjoyable to snuggle with, including those yummy rugby thighs.. oh yeahhhhhhh!

So... here is the link for Winter Song on youtube.

Wising everyone out there a wonderful evening
and
safe paths,
Mystress