Ownership, Gratitude and Communication

I am lucky. Amazingly so. I own Paladin, who is while not perfect (so much that he practically snorted when I told him that someone thought that he was) but does try, and beats himself up when he is not. But lets it go quickly.. we try not to hang onto things too much. He did get a pretty good spanking on Mon for not shaving yet again. I hate it when he forgets. And sometimes, he questions a Command or plays at avoiding it. But he has spirit, and I like that very much in him. He is a brilliant man, top of his game, but he has chosen Me to kneel to, and that is heady stuff.

And I own Robert as well.. who is a high spirited as Paladin is, although often more so in his own frustrating and yet endearing ways. Have had him for six years now. sometimes he pisses the hell out of Me, but I love him dearly, and always care deeply for him.

So.. I own these two amazing men. Why? because they have chosen to belong to Me. I suppose our styles fit pretty well.

Everyone has their own style in this lifestyle. We make our own ways.. and sometimes we are flexible, and sometimes not so much.

Communication has to be a huge part of what we all do here. And being able to do so freely without the fear of reprisal is important, as long as it is respectful. Questioning even sometimes. I have always allowed My slaves to ask Me anything they wish. And to talk to whomever they wish. I never desire to isolate them from their feelings. I have had that done to Me in the past, and for Me, it was very damaging, so much so that the relationship ended.

I have bad feelings about isolation from communicating with others as a result of that. I guess it's one of those things that has stuck with Me. I never trusted that individul again after I realized how messed up things were, and so perhaps I go too far the other way because of it. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone about anything negative. But it buit and built up.. and then just expldoed in the end. I swore I would never let that happen to Me again. And try to be sure it didn't happen to those I loved. My therapist at the time pointed that out to Me, how imposed silence leads to things being worse, not better.

Personally, it makes Me feel better to know that they can question Me and communicate as long as it is done with respect. I have developed enough self esteem to be able to deal with their questions and concerns when they arise. I have to pause and think, to be sure that I am being fair and just. That is even as a Owner, vitally important to Me.

I have My own issues that come up over and over. Some I've not managed to get past, so My pets have to deal with that from Me sometimes. But life is like that. Some insecurities dont' just 'go away' because you trust someome. They fade after time, much as Myne have, but sometimtes the right button pushed or change in situation or relationship can bring it all back like it just happened.

I tend to hold things in alot, but I have learnd so much from Paladin in the last two years about this, that I am much better then I was at expressing all things. He can tell just by My look that somethign is on My mind. as Robert can tell by the words I use that something is not right. I want honesty at all times... be they happy or sad, or disgrunted or insecure. I want them to be able to express it. I prefer they talk to me.. and I often ask them how I am doing.. am I doing too much of something, not enough of something, and if they are happy. All this matters and is vitally important to Me.. how else do I know of their true well being???

Other folks have other styles, and that's their right of course. We are all different in how we do things, and that is how our subs match up to us as well. Like with Like. Paladin said it took him seven years to find Me because he was so particular about the style that he wanted and felt comfortable with. So anything I say is in regards to Me and Myne. I had a friend who thought I was too hard on Robert when he was here.. thought I controlled him too much, but it was what he wanted, which I knew, because I did Command him to speak from his heart openly. And in that way, to also protect him. She thought I was unfair at the time, but she did not understand his needs. I know that I can see others in that same light. But I have to remember we are each our own little universe and we work the way we most feel comfortable with.

This is not always an esay path that We/we all choose. And I truly wish everyone all the best. To each be who they are the way they are. I mean all of this from My heart, with only the best of intentions.. and again, I speak only for Me.. and Myne..

Good positive thoughts to all.. may we all keep
evolving in all our relationships.

Hugs and smiles to all,
Mystress