Paladin's new dress collar for our 5 year anniversary.
Hello friends far and near...
Been a long while since I've posted here, and some of this is re-posted from my Fet Life journal, as much of what I have to say here, is the same I said there.
So far, it's been a really great summer! The last of our
visitors left back to their home country of Germany almost a week ago. It was
great to have them visit and we got to see some places we hadn't been to
before,, and got to show a few we had. Best part was NASA on Sunday, as
they were getting ready for the Curiosity's landing on Mars. Wish we'd
known as we woulda taken two cars that day to stay for the landing
party, but it is all good. The husband S, stayed up with me
watching the landing on NASA TV till around 2am. Paladin of course had
to be up at 6:30am, and S's wife D had a headache and went to be early. It
was fun and exciting, and a great new adventure in science!
We also did some Geo-caching which I had done some of in CA up at
Sutters Mill, and enjoyed the people and the questing. So that was a
blast, and S hid a few caches while he was here too. One on
Galveston island, one at Lake Conroe, and a couple around this area. He
also picked up something called a 'travel bug' in AZ that wanted to
find its way back to Europe and a couple others that wanted to travel.
He said he did 53 caches' while they were here in the states. I'll be
going to visit them in 2014 and looking forward to doing some European
Geo-caching too. He got some great and very unique souvenirs from it
too! Funny, I didn't know they call non Geo-cacher's "muggles".
Teeeeheeee! And on the Geo map, I was absolutely gobsmacked by how many
caches there are around here!!!
My ex-Mistress, one of my bestest friends from CA was here for two weeks before the
Germans arrived, (thanks again pedi4u for the great toesies!) and we had
a blast too. Unfortunately I had Paladin's lung crud and wasn't up to a
trip to San Antonio... next time! But we did make it to Galveston and
saw the musical "Biggest Little Whorehouse in Tx". We both enjoyed it quite a
bit.
While she was here, we had our fifth anniversary of Paladin's
collaring, and he really liked his new dress collar a lot. And he had
gotten me a lovely silver bracelet with a heart lock and it's key on
it.. I hold the key to his heart he says. Yummmm.
I did get a unexpected shock on a Sat two weeks ago. Paladin comes in
with an envelope for me from the VA. Looks like a ..... check???? Yup... it says "For VA Compensation and Disability". No letter.. but a
nice bit of a chunk of back pay. So, on Mon, I drive to Houston VA
Admin after my MST group at the VA Center to check it out. Turns out...
the VA has decided that yup, I'm at least 70% nuts. And while it's
small pension, and not enough to live on, at least now i do have
something of a monthly income again! Which since my flip out with my
barking, growling and poking client in Jan wherein I almost abandoned
him in a movie theater and my 22 year career at that work ended
suddenly, I've had zero income and dearest Paladin has been fully
supporting me. I never wanted that situation, but there was no other
option that I could see until the VA made up it's mind. And while is he
is the 'slave', he does get to overrule me when it comes to my mental
and physical well being, as he is also my 'protector and Paladin' as
well as pleasure slave extraordinaire. HA!!! but now, I am finally
able to do a few things to help him, and show appreciation to my dear
friends here some. He still won't let me pay any household bills, but I
can pay my own car insurance and a couple other things. And he can't
keep me from stocking up at at Costco! HA again! And I hired a
gardener so that pet doesn't have to be out there sweating and mowing
our corner lot when he could be relaxing and swimming. It's not much
but it makes me feel much better to be able to do a few small things to
make his life easier. He's done soooo much for me.... (wipes tears of appreciation away)
It was good timing for me too, because I felt much better being able
to pay for some groceries and a few other things myself while our
visitors were here and buy a few souvenirs and meals.
And... as my friend Joan, also a survivor of military sexual trauma
said, it is a validation of the hell I was put through for four years. I
had sent her a txt the day the check came and asked her if that was
normal. She said yes, the check always comes first, then they send you
info about it. So far, the letter about it still hasn't come. But I'd
rather have the $$ and be waiting for a letter, then have the letter
and be waiting on the $$ for sure!!!
I finally got to see a VA doc up at Conroe (thanks to DaddyQball for
telling me abut going up there and avoiding the Houston VA madhouse, the
VA is soooo slow it took 5 months), a nice lady named Dr. Y. And she
says that she thinks due to the physical trauma I am still suffering
from (busted left jaw, loss of teeth on left side, loss of hearing in my
left ear, crushed trachea and being beaten so i couldn't have kids) are
things that they still need to recompense me for. The disability award
now is just for the PTSD. So she is sending me to some specialists to
get it in writing so I can submit that to increase the amount of
disability I am getting. I thought what I was getting was good, but she
felt very strongly that it isn't. She and my counselors have also told
me to file for SS disability as well, especially since the 70% isn't
near enough to live on.
Last Mon, I got to meet our new Vet Center counselor. I'd been very
anxious about it as my friend Ani had a TERRIBLE doc at her Vet Center
in her state. I've been blessed to have two wonderful ones so far. But
the new doc seems nice enough so far. All the 'Ladies of the Group'
were and to some degree still are withholding judgment to see how she
does running the group as our current counselor was still there too. In
our group, or in our lives... getting someone new to have to re-explain
the horrors we survived is never easy. We HATE having to start over and
tell new people about it all over yet again.
Paladin will be going on a trip back to CA for several days at the
beginning of Sept and I guess I get to rattle around here alone for a
while. Well, me and my critters anyways. Its kinda scary for me in
that i still have the nightmares sometimes and him being near always
calms me down a lot. At least I am not feeling suicidal anymore, so I
am pretty sure I can be alone now and be okay.
The doc wants to put me on Zoloft and Wellbutrin, but I don't want to do
that while Paladin is gone, and not sure I want to do it at all. I hate
taking chemical drugs if I can help it. I'll just stick to my Normal
Medicine for the time being as that is what was recommended by both my
VA docs in Calf, and it's been keeping me relatively stable this long.
Both my docs here agree, but like all VA's, they can't prescribe it.
PPPfffffttttt!!!!!!
So that's pretty much the catch up. We did go to the SAF munch last Thur, and it was great to see all our friends we hadn't seen for a month. And this coming Sat, is the SAF play party. Weeeeee! Paladin is going up on the St. Anderews cross if we can get time on it. He's had a few demerits building up (including supposing to have posted here yesterday) and I've had a few requests to see him get flogged. The ladies here say there are lots of female subs for the men to ogle, but not much male 'eye candy' for the ladies, and Paladin is considered to be some pretty good eye candy. I told him to be sure he picks out some nice undies, cuz he IS going up on that cross!!! I've got two new floggers that need a good workout....
Hugs and good wishes to all..
Mystress Swan
